


Behind those eyes of blue

by vavavavoom_beautifulbeautifulbombshell



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Angst, Crossdressing, Eventual Smut, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, No Lesbians Die, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 61,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27068689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vavavavoom_beautifulbeautifulbombshell/pseuds/vavavavoom_beautifulbeautifulbombshell
Summary: The year is 1847. Kate Janeway lives in a sleepy Irish town with her parents and younger sister on their farm. The young redhead is supposed to inherit and take over the family farm one day, but she secretly dreams of leaving it all behind and start a new life, discovering new places, meeting new people, and seeing new things. An opportunity seems to present itself when a theater group that's currently touring the country makes a stop in Kate's hometown.Kate finds herself fascinated with the whole performance. Especially a mysterious young gentleman with pieces of metal adorning his oddly feminine features has her under a spell. Unable to forget that beautiful face and alluring exotic accent she decides to go find the young man in his trailer one night, unaware of the consequences this is going to have not only for her but the person in question as well...
Relationships: Beverly Crusher/Deanna Troi, Kathryn Janeway & Seven of Nine, Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine
Comments: 64
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**May 5 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

It looks like spring has finally arrived in this sleepy 'ole town. The cherry blossoms have opened earlier today, their sweet scent filling the air of my room as I'm writing this.

Busy life on the farm has officially started again. While I'm usually always grateful for a distraction, I must admit that I already miss those lazy winter days, spent mostly in the solitude of my room by the warm fireplace, my only company a good book, and my own thoughts.

There's no time to fret however or drown in self-pity. Life's gonna continue, whether we're ready, or not.

At least with the hard physical work on the farm commencing again, I'll be able to lose the extra pounds I've gained over the food-laden winter months, filled with mom's good food. I clearly overindulged one too many times, finding strange comfort in mom's cooking.

Thank the heavens that there's no pretty lass 'round here, else I'd never forgive myself for bein' such a lazy bum all winter and putting on weight.

I just heard someone come upstairs. I'll end this entry and check to see who's there and if my help's needed.

See you again soon.

Kate

Kate opened the door to her room and was greeted by the smiling face of her father. His voice was cheerful when he asked her. „Had a good night's sleep, pumpkin? It's mighty early for you to be awake.“ The redhead grinned at her beloved father at this, shrugging her shoulders. „I got awoken by the sun shinin' through my window and thought to myself I might as well rise early and make myself useful. Looks like spring's arrived at last, eh?“ Her father looked at her with a big smile, nodding in agreement. „Eyup. It's time to giddy up and get to farmin' again. That's my gal. Always there to help her 'ole man. Go have sum breakfast first, pumpkin. Work can wait for a lil longer still.“

Kate was thankful at her father's understanding and grinned at him, skipping down the stairs to the kitchen, taking two at the same time. When she entered the small room she was greeted by her little sister who was already sitting at the table and her mother who stood with her back facing her, busy preparing their lunch. Phoebe Janeway made a face at her sister, being aware their mom wasn't able to see them thanks to her back facing them. Kate sighed softly and rolled her eyes before declaring cheerfully. „Good morning, ma!“

The oldest Janeway turned around at this, finally acknowledging her eldest daughter's presence with a smile. „Morning, Katie. What's gotten you all cheerful so early in the day? Is it that sweet spring air that's gotten to your head? You'll be happy to know I made your favorite for breakfast.“ Kate's eyes visibly started to sparkle at this, tiny specks of gold mixing in with the bright blue of her natural eye color, her voice dreamy. „Thanks, ma! It's a pancake's day, alright!“

Edward Janeway soon joined his family for breakfast, everyone enjoying their respective foods in a comfortable silence until Gretchen Janeway told her oldest daughter. „By the way, Katie. Since your dad and I'll be busy all morning I was thinkin' you should accompany your lil' sister to school for a change. It would help us a lot if you could do that.“ Kate had a hard time not to choke on her pancake at her mother's unexpected request. The aspect of having to accompany her annoying little sister to school not exactly what she had planned for this morning. Phoebe grinned at her like a cheshire cat. Kate had to suppress another eye roll at the youngest Janeway's antics.

It had turned out that bringing her sister to school had only been an excuse to get Kate to the town's center where she was to run a few errands, mainly for her mother. 'Should've known it.' Kate mused to herself, eyeing the almost foot-long list her mother had conspiratorily handed her earlier. 'Well, might as well check in to the library and get some new reading material while I'm already here. Sometimes you gotta reward yourself to lift your spirits.' She thought, a smile creeping onto her pretty face. Kate was a true bookworm and reading a guilty pleasure of hers if you will.

Her trip around town took longer than expected and it was already almost lunchtime when she reached the local library. Knowing her mother's love for routine, the Janeway's always ate lunch together at 12:30 pm every single day, without exception she grudgingly decided against going to the library but planned to make a trip there the next day instead. She was on her way back down the main road when something caught her eye. Kate stopped, inspecting the poster. _Take a trek to the stars. Come see the wondrous Voyager theater live! Buy your ticket now and join a trip to another world. What are you waiting for?_

Kate was fascinated by the text on the poster. She had wanted to go to a theater performance for a long time, but being from a sleepy small town in Ireland there had never been an opportunity to do so. 'I need to tell pa about this! A trip to the stars. That sounds so exciting! I wonder what they mean by that?' she excitedly thought while skipping home, all the while humming a tune to herself she had just come up with.

She arrived back at the farm at point 12:30 pm, the uncanny smell of Shepherds Pie greeting her as she stepped inside, making her mouth water. Kate only noticed now that she'd worked up quite an appetite, running errands all morning. Inside the kitchen she was greeted by both her parents who were already sitting at the table, obviously waiting for her. „I told you she'd be back for lunch, hun.“

Edward said to his wife, clearly proud of his eldest daughter's reliability.

Kate grinned from ear to her, exclaiming cheerfully. „I wouldn't miss ma's Shepherd's Pie for the world. I've worked up quite the appetite walking around town all mornin'.“ Gretchen smiled happily at this, filling her daughter's plate with a good serving of the dish, handing it over to her across the table. „Here you are, Katie. You've clearly earned your lunch today. Have ya gotten all from the list I handed to ya earlier?“

Kate nodded proudly, motioning over to the hallway. „I left it on the chair for ya, ma. By the way. I've seen a poster in the town center earlier, advertising a theater performance that's gonna be held here next week. I was wondering if I may go there? It sounded just delightful. You guys know how much I love theater and literature.“ Gretchen did not seem too happy about her request, her father however smiled his gentle smile and told her. „Of course you can go there, pumpkin. If your heart desires it how could we refuse it to ya? What would you say about turning it into a family trip? Your mom, sister, and I accompanying you to that performance. How does that sound?“

'Should've known he'd be suggesting that. It would be fine if he'd accompany me, maybe even ma. Phoebe, however? Oh hell nah. I'd much prefer her not tagging along to this...' Despite her doubts about turning this into a family trip as her father had called it, Kate in the end gave in, knowing that it was better than not being allowed to go see the performance at all. „Alright, dad. Let's all go there together. It'll start at 7 pm next Friday. We'll have to buy tickets in advance though. I'm sure they will sell out fast.“

With that having been said it was settled that the next Janeway family trip would lead them to the theater performance Kate was eager to see. Her father, in all honesty, was quite excited himself, but wouldn't let it on in front of his wife who he knew to be rather skeptical in regards to modern things like performance groups touring around the country with their program.

**May 16 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

Today is the day! At 7 pm we'll be going out to the town square to see the performance of the Voyager theater group. I'm so excited. Finally, there's something interesting happening in this 'ole town! I only hope that Phoebe won't be causing any trouble while we're there. Knowing her she might not be able to keep her mouth shut during the acts. Heaven forbid if she'll interrupt the performance! I'd be so ashamed to be associated with the likes of her shall that happen. After all, I wanna make a good impression on those actors and especially on the actresses, which I bet they'll be beautiful. Oh, Gods, I hope they won't be too pretty so I won't faint!

That's it for today. I'll write you again tomorrow to tell you how it went.

Kate

**May 16 th, 1847, Carbury, Ireland**

Just like that we have left England behind and reached the first stop of our tour through Ireland. Our tour through England was unexpectedly successful with the people there making for a fine audience. To my surprise, they seemed to especially enjoy my performance. I had honestly been concerned at first that the people of this country would disapprove of someone like myself and the family as a whole. The hear-say about Ireland, our next stop, however, has been a whole other story. Thanks to the catholic background of the country I deem it very likely that the people here are going to be shocked, disgusted even by 'freaks' like us. It would not be the first time that I for one would receive that kind of reaction from others. Why does it still hurt even after all these years? If only I could be invisible. I still hope against my better judgment that the people here are more open than hear-say lets them out to be. I guess in a few hours I will know. I can already feel my nerves trying to get the best of me...

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia

A knock on the door of her trailer made the young woman snap up from her reverie. She quickly hid the brown journal in its usual hiding place then she got up from her seat, opening the door to her trailer. The blonde inwardly sighed in relief upon seeing the grinning face of her fellow theater mate. „Papa! I thought it was those ungrateful pigs! I thought they were out to get me this time for real.“ The old man chuckled heartily at this, carefully wrapping one arm around his foster-daughter, knowing the young woman was very sensitive when it came to physical contact due to her past.

The old man smiled gently, displaying the upper row, showing off his fang-like incisors and missing front teeth. „Nastya, please don't be so frightened. Your papa wouldn't allow those monsters anywhere near your trailer. If anyone wants anything they'll have to get through me first.“ He playfully displayed his bicep at this which to his delight send the softest smile to the young woman's face.

The moment didn't last long, her expression turning stoic again soon, her tone distant. „Do you think the Irish people will accept me like this? Would it not be best to hide my scars and oddities?“ The old man's heart hurt at her words, yet he gently told her. „I don't think you should have to hide anything, moya lubov. If they can't accept you for who you are that's their loss. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are. I see you already got in costume.“ Anastasia heaved a small sigh, knowing it was pointless trying to convince the old man otherwise. She inclined her head softly at his words. „I am ready for my performance, at least in terms of my attire...“

The old man nodded at this, smiling reassuringly at his daughter. „I'll come over after my own performance and inform you how the general mood of the audience tonight is. Alright?“ Feeling slightly more calm at this, Anastasia nodded slowly, smiling the softest smile at the man in return. „That would be acceptable. Thank you, papa. I believe you should leave now. It is soon going to be your turn.“ He nodded slowly at this and left the trailer. Once he was gone the young blonde sank onto her bed, burying her face in the pillow. 'What do I do? I guess it is time to suck it up and be as strong as always. I wish my performance was over already and I could simply sleep.'

While she had that thought, rows of people from the small town of Carbury entered the makeshift theater, excited chatter filling the air. Among them was Kate Janeway accompanied by her family. Her younger sister Phoebe having bombarded the poor redhead all the way to their seats. Kate's look had turned into that infamous 'death glare' of hers, her voice menacing she turned towards the still babbling young girl. „Pheebs, I swear if ya don't shut that lil mouth of yers right about now I'll make ya do so.“ This effectively stunned the young girl to silence, Kate leaned back in her seat at this, sighing in content. 'This evening just might turn fun after all now that that problem's solved...'

Anastasia in her trailer wasn't so sure if that would be the case...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anastasia's performance in Carbury is about to change both Kate's and Anastasia's lives profoundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I am back with a new chapter. I sincerely hope you enjoy it. If you do, please make sure to let me know by kindly leaving a kudo or comment. I always love to hear my readers' opinions and would be very thankful for feedback. :)

Anastasia was still laying on her bed when a knock could be heard on her trailer's door, causing her to sit up straight, quickly rubbing her face before calling out. „Enter!“ The door opened, her father walking inside, a smile on his face. She asked him, sure she already knew the answer before even asking the question. „How is the general mood of the audience tonight, papa?“ His smile widened, his voice cheerful. „It's great, Nastya! They are in high spirits. Looks like Ireland isn't as conservative as we feared.“

Anastasia felt relief wash over her at his words. Maybe tonight would be tolerable after all and her performance would not be a complete disaster. She got up from her seating position, smoothing out her suit which earned her an appraising look from her father. „Looking handsome as ever, Nikolai. Ready to hit the stage?“ The young woman now fully in character answered him in the distinct low candor of her alter ego. „Let the show commence!“

Pjotr stepped aside, holding the door of the trailer open for his daughter like a gentleman. Nikolai chuckled and bowed his head. „Thank you oh so kindly. I do believe I am able to open the door to my own trailer by myself still.“ This made the old man chuckle as well. He was always surprised when Nastya was in character, her alter ego changing her personality 180°. 'If only she could see what I see.' he mused to himself.

Kate's eyes were glued to the stage, making Phoebe next to her shoot her odd looks which her older sister to her luck did not take note of. Gretchen and Edward had so far been enjoying themselves as well, especially Gretchen was so far very positively surprised by tonight's performance. She did not regret having tagged along after all. The curtain opened again and gasps filled the audience. Kate's mouth stood open in astonishment.

There on the stage stood a young gentleman in a suit, his wild long mane framing oddly feminine features, strange metal pieces adorning his left eye and right cheek right in front of his ear. The eyepiece crescent-shaped and the one on his cheek starburst. Piercing blue eyes curiously wandered the audience, plump, luscious lips opening, a surprisingly deep, melodic voice, sending shivers down the whole of Kate's body, a fire starting in her loins.

„Have you ever been gazing up at the stars at night, wondering what may lie ahead up there in the vast galaxy? When I was little my father used to tell me stories about people just like us who lived up there, wondering about life here on Earth. Do you believe in miracles?“ Kate was hanging on this fascinating young man's every word, nodding at his question which she then realized thanks to being an avid reader was what was commonly known as a 'rhetorical question' which demanded no answer. Yet, Kate felt like she owed this seemingly wondering young man an answer, many answers to all his questions about the stars and galaxy he seemed to have a fondness for.

„Nikolai, my father told me one day when I had just turned six years old, we are going to explore the galaxy together one day. That's a promise! We are going to build a starship and fly there, as far as we can possibly go and explore a whole new world, get to know new people, make friends and find a new place to stay. What do you say? I, of course, did agree right away. So, dad and I started to build Voyager and with it we went on a new adventure every single night, exploring the galaxy and seeing the stars from up close. We befriended alien life forms, forming connections that proved invaluable and as a sign for my love for the stars and special relationship with it, and the galaxy, the moon, and star were forever engraved into my skin. Like the most beautiful, haunting memory. One day I am going to go back there. My father is long gone, but I would hate to go out there alone.“

Kate felt herself blush, her heart beating painfully fast against her ribcage as the piercing blue eyes seemed to meet hers, his voice sounding like an invitation. „Would you like to come with me and join me on my trek to the stars?“ Her heart was screaming 'yes' seemingly a thousand times, wishing he had actually meant her. That accent of his, the rolling of the r's in such an endearing fashion. Just where could he possibly be coming from and that name of his, Nikolai, it sounded so exotic and charming, just like his whole appearance.

'I wonder how they created these metal pieces on his face. They look very aesthetically pleasing.' Kate mused to herself. Her parents looking over at her without her knowledge, Gretchen disliking the way her eldest, otherwise so well-behaved daughter seemed to be so interested in this woman dressed in drag. Phoebe nudged her sister, unable to keep her mouth shut any longer, whispering into Kate's ear, her voice teasing. „Whatcha thinking 'bout that lad, Katie? Charmin', eh?“

Kate turned over to her little sister who's eyes were fixed on her, checking for her reaction. With Nikolai having left the stage Kate felt strangely empty, already missing his presence and that pleasant voice. She blinked at her sister, shrugging her shoulders. Having been too engaged in that breathtaking performance she had been unable to register what the youngest Janeway had just said. Noticing this Phoebe chuckled in content, grinning to herself, sing-songing. „Katie and Nikolai sitting on a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g“ Kate's face turned red in both fury and embarrassment at this, lightly swatting at her annoying little sister's arm. „Why you lil'...“

Gretchen Janeway who noticed the exchange between her daughters turned over to them, her blue eyes had turned gray, her disappointment clearly visible to her daughters who were shivering at the infamous death stare their usually calm and gentle mother was shooting them, her voice icy. „What has gotten into ya girls today and don't cha think I didn't notice your lil' exchange during breakfast this mornin'. Enough is enough. If ya'll continue on like this you'll get grounded til ya sorted things out. Am I making myself clear?“

Both Kate and Phoebe's eyes were filled with terror at the aspect of getting grounded indefinitely, nodding obediently, answering in chorus. „Yes, ma'am!“ Gretchen Janeway leaned back in satisfaction at her daughters' reaction, her tone having softened again slightly. „Good. Is the show over now, or will there still be more?“ She looked at her oldest daughter expectantly who simply shrugged, unable to answer her mother. „I wouldn't know, ma. It's my first time watching a theater performance myself, remember?“ Her mother nodded at this. No further had they to ask themselves about the matter as in this moment the curtain opened once more, revealing a stunning exotic looking woman.

All eyes were fixed on the woman who walked the stage in feather-light steps, her hips swaying ever so gently, sending a jolt to Kate's groin, making the young girl blush in embarrassment. This was bad! Hopefully, her parents didn't notice her reaction. She'd have a lot of explaining to do if that should be the case and that was still the best-case scenario. Phoebe Janeway smirked at her sister's obvious struggles, muttering under her breath. „Now that's more like it...“

Kate looked at her sister at this, much to the youngest Janeway's horror having heard what she'd deemed inaudible, her tone sharp as a knife. „What was that, short one?“ Phoebe visible flinched at both the insult of her height as well as her sister's harsh tone, her voice audibly shaking as she answered her in the smallest voice. „Nothin', Katie. Just been thinkin' loudly, is all...“ Kate didn't have any of that however, her death glare she'd obviously inherited from her mom back on her face once more, frightening poor young Phoebe even more who by now was shaking in her seat, hoping against all odds that her sister wouldn't find out that she knew what was most likely her most well-kept secret.

Meanwhile, merely a good hundred meters away a certain blonde sat in her trailer, heart heavy at the painful memories and flashbacks her performance had evoked. She never noticed it during her performances, the fact that she was in costume, acting as someone else, someone so unlike herself protecting her while in character. Once the show was over and Nastya was back in the quietude of her trailer the memories and darkness came in a rush, making it hard for her to breathe.

When would this ever stop? The young girl had long stopped to believe in a God. 'Would there be one why would he allow people to suffer like this? It is illogical. There is no God and there is no heaven, only the hell we create for ourselves. I am forced to re-live mine every single day.' Her head was throbbing, causing her to yelp softly in agony.

A soft knock could be heard on her door which barely registered in her hazy brain. Forcing herself to sit up she called out, her voice not as self-assured as usual. „Enter!“ The door opened, a familiar beautiful face framed by luscious black locks peaking in hesitantly, voice laced with concern the young woman asked. „Sweetie, may I come in?“ Nastya nodded, knowing around the older woman she didn't have to play-pretend which was a huge relief considering her current state. „Please, Dee.“

The older woman who was known to her theater family as Dee entered and sat on the bed next to Anastasia, carefully taking the young girl's trembling hands into her own, rubbing over the backs of them soothingly, effectively calming the shaken blonde's nerves, the tension slowly falling off of her shoulders which slumped over. Dee's voice ever gentle she asked her younger friend carefully. „Did the big black wolf come back again, sweetie?“ Anastasia sighed and nodded, her big blue eyes filled with the deepest sadness the woman sitting next to her had ever seen or felt in her entire life and that was to say something, seeing as Dee had worked with lots of deeply traumatized people in her life.

Only thanks to a perfectly balanced self-care program the dark-haired woman had invented for herself throughout the years was she able to somewhat distance herself from the profound sadness and depression emitting off of her young friend. Anastasia's voice was shaking, the hurt of years lacing it. „I feel so worthless, Dee. When is this ever going to stop? Will there ever come a time I can truly be free, content even? I am not even deluding in the hope to find happiness, but to feel content for once in my life would be a good start.“

Dee's tone had grown impossibly more gentle, ignoring what the younger woman's father had told her bringing her friend closer to herself, engulfing her in the warmest, most loving hug Anastasia had ever received. The young woman was stunned to silence at the overwhelming emotions that rolled over her like an avalanche, the tears she'd held back for years streaming out of her eyes at once, snot running out of her nose, staining her beautiful face and her companion's dress which the latter did not mind, or even notice as she ran her hands through the silky blonde locks of the younger woman in her arms ever so gently all the while whispering words of reassurance in her ear.

A soft smile formed on the older woman's face upon hearing the even breaths coming from the girl in her arms who had fallen asleep thanks to all the stress and exhaustion of the last few days. Careful not to wake the sleeping blonde, Dee gently lay the younger woman into her bed, laying down next to her, her friend soon hugging her once more much to the older woman's delight. 'That is a first.' She gently placed a kiss on her forehead, muttering. „Thank you for trusting me enough to do this, sweetie. I promise I won't abuse your trust.“

When Nastya woke up again a few hours later Dee was still sleeping soundly next to her, sending the softest smile to the usually stoic blonde's face. She carefully sat up, retrieving her worn brown leather journal from its hiding, silently opening a new page, starting to write.

**May 17 th, 1847, Carbury, Ireland**

Last night's performance to my relief was a success. Papa for reasons I am unable to comprehend once more knew just the place to start our tour through this country. He truly has a gift in that matter. What he simply refers to as 'intuition' has proven to be most helpful, even life-saving in many situations before. He truly deserves his title as a magician.

One day I might find out how this 'intuition' thing of his works out. I am rather curious about the workings of it if I am honest. After my performance, as good as it might have gone, I once again had a 'panic attack' as Dee tends to refer to those episodes of painful flashbacks I tend to get. She came to my trailer and effectively calmed me down, so much so in fact that I must have fallen asleep.

When I woke up again just now she was still there laying next to me, sleeping peacefully. For the first time in forever, I did not have any nightmares. Dee, much like papa, but in a whole other way is truly a miracle. Sometimes I suspect them to not be simply human due to their seemingly 'superhuman' abilities. How else could her mere presence rid me of my nightmares? Her healing methods are rather special, that much is for sure and it is not surprising me that she was hunted for being a witch in her home country with talents like hers.

I do not believe in witches, yet why did I have this unnerving feeling of being watched during the whole of my performance tonight? The eyes of the audience being fixed on my person usually never have any effect on me while I am in my alter ego. So why did it feel like one particular pair of eyes was watching me with an intent I had never before witnessed anyone watching me? Curious. I must truly be losing my mind to have such odd, unexplainable, highly illogical feelings. I guess being around the family has rubbed off on me after all.

That is all for now. I just heard a sound coming from the direction Dee is laying in.

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia

Kate had been lying awake the whole night, unable to fall asleep due to the images of that young man from that night's performance etched into her mind, just like that pleasant deep voice and alluring accent. 'That's impossible! What're you thinking? You must be outta your mind, Katie.' the young woman told herself, groaning out in frustration. She got up and left her bed finally, deciding it was useless trying to sleep tonight.

After retrieving her diary from its hiding she sat at her desk, the moonlight illuminating the spot just enough for her to be able to write a new entry. She quickly checked the time on the pocket watch her dad had gifted her for her graduation, reassuring herself that it was already a new day before opening a new page in the inconspicuous journal, leaning slightly forward in her chair so she'd be able to see better.

**May 17 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

You won't believe what I have to tell you! Last night I went to the theater performance, as I'd told you in yesterday's entry, and guess what? The most hauntingly beautiful young man had a solo performance there. Yes, you read that right. To call him handsome wouldn't do him justice, since his face was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever been allowed to lay my eyes upon, honest.

Oh, what do I do? You know what I told you all the time, diary. My feelings and view on the matter haven't changed. I'm still very much and solely attracted to and interested in girls. Then how can it be that I feel like without this Nikolai, that's his name, by the way, my life is incomplete? The moment he'd left the stage once his performance was over last night I felt so empty and I immediately missed him, no that is the wrong word.

Missing does not even come close to what I am feeling. I think it is what my beloved romance novel authors commonly refer to as 'longing'. I'd never felt this way in my life and used to wonder how it felt, deeming it to be one of the most romantic emotions out there. Boy, was I wrong! How do I wish I could simply stop myself from feeling this way and tell this foolish heart of mine to forget all about this young actor. Unfortunately, I know that that is a thing of the impossible...

Oh, my dear diary. What do I do? I feel like I'm gonna lose it if I won't ever be able to see this man again. Hopefully, work will be able to distract me, at least for a little bit. Phoebe was already teasing me during the performance last night. I swear she knows something! How can this be though? I've always been very discrete and secretive about this matter. Then how come when this other performer, an admittedly stunning exotic beauty named Dee came on stage Pheebs acted all suspicious, looking my way in that enragingly teasing manner of hers? It's impossible! I must be seeing things already.

That's it for now. I'll keep you updated on those strange new emotions of mine and the situation with Phoebe as well. By the way, I almost forgot to tell you. Ma threatened to ground Phoebe and me, shall we not stop our bickering anytime soon. She's had about enough from the looks of it. That stare of hers is no joke, brrr. I was actually freezing when she shot it at us. I can only hope and pray that lil' sister of mine will stop provoking me, else we might get grounded for eternity and I can't by any means let that happen! I'll crawl the walls if I'll be forced to stay inside 24/7. I swear...

See you again soon.

Kate


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anastasia's theater group decides to stay in Carbury for a while longer to take a break from their long, exhausting tour through England much to the young girl's chagrin. Meanwhile, Kate who got grounded is unable to forget Nikolai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I'm back with another chapter. I hope you enjoy it. If you do make sure to let me know. I always appreciate your honest feedback. Also, thank you to everyone who has been so kind to leave kudos on this story. :)

The hunch Anastasia had been having turned out to be correct, a familiar still drowsy with sleep voice wafting over to her from her bed. „Sweetie, you're already up. How are you feeling today? I hope better.“ The younger woman nodded softly in response, turning around to face her friend. „I am feeling better, Dee. Thank you again for being there for me last night. Our conversations always help me and I must admit your embrace was most welcome, albeit unexpected.“

Dee smiled at this, her tone as gentle as always. „I'm relieved to hear you are feeling better today, sweetie. I'm always happy to help. That's what friends are for after all. To help each other through thick and through thin. You can always count on me.“ Anastasia smiled ever so softly at this herself, once more feeling grateful for her theater family.

Taking the current time into consideration, the blonde asked the brunette. „Are you hungry by the way? I could cook breakfast for us if you want to thank you for last night. It is the least I can do.“ Dee's eyes turned wide at this, stunned at her friend's suggestion. Her voice reassuring. „Sweetie, you don't owe me anything. I know that you don't have much food yourself. You don't have to share what little you have with me.“

The younger woman's expression turned into a frown at her friend's words, her voice stern. „I want to share my food with you though, Dee. You know that I do not require much nutrition myself. Papa once again got way too much food for me. He never listens to me when I tell him that I do not require a cabinet packed with food.“

Dee chuckled softly at this, telling her friend. „He's only concerned for your well-being, sweetie. It has nothing to do with him not listening to you. He's your father and as that he feels responsible for your health and happiness. He wants to grant you the best life possible, especially taking your past into consideration. He never wants you to have to starve and go to bed on an empty stomach anymore.“

Anastasia felt a knot form in her throat at that, nodding slowly in understanding, muttering. „Oh. That is actually very considerate of him. I did not think of it in that way before to be quite honest.“ Dee smiled, her voice cheerful, wanting to lighten the glum mood. „If you do possess so much food that you feel you won't be able to eat all by yourself I would like to take you up on that offer of having breakfast together after all if that offer still stands.“

The younger woman nodded happily, opening her cabinet to inspect its contents. „Of course that offer still stands, Dee. It might be best if you would inspect the contents of this cabinet together with me. I am afraid I am at a loss of what to cook since there are simply too many ingredients here.“ The older woman got up from her sitting position at this, walking the few steps over to the cabinet, joining her friend there, taking in the sheer endless amount of food stored in there, almost flowing over.

The dark eyes of the exotic beauty glazed over, sighing in content, the sight of food always managing to delight her and reminding her of her home country Greece, the memory bittersweet. Pushing her memories to the back of her brain for the time being she asked her friend. „What do you usually eat for breakfast, sweetie? Or what does a typical Russian breakfast look like?“ Anastasia bit her bottom lip at the question, muttering. „I would not know what a typical Russian breakfast looks like, but I typically eat porridge for breakfast.“

Dee nodded at this, curious to try the breakfast her friend usually ate she told her. „I'd like to try that if you don't mind. Could you cook one for me as well?“ Anastasia was taken aback by the request but nodded. „If you would like to try it I can certainly make some for you as well. I am not certain if you'll like the taste however, it is rather bland.“ Dee nodded at this, tapping her chin in thought. „Maybe you could top it off with something? How about you add fruits? I'm sure that would improve the taste. Have you ever tried that out before, sweetie?“

Anastasia shook her head at this, never even having considered adding anything to the meal herself before, personally not minding the bland taste she grew accustomed to over the years. She inspected the contents of her cabinet once again, finding strawberries in there, holding them up, and asking her friend curiously. „Do you think those would be sufficient as a 'topping', Dee?“

The older woman's eyes visibly started to sparkle at the sight of her favorite fruits, nodding enthusiastically. „Strawberries are perfect, sweetie! Let's use them as the topping and do you have some sugar here too? You know I have quite the sweet tooth.“ Anastasia chuckled softly at the older woman's question, retrieving a so far unused bag of sugar from another cabinet. „Here you are. You are aware that sugar is very unhealthy though. Are you? You as a medical professional should know better than to indulge in such things.“

Dee chuckled at her young friend's lecture, feeling like a schoolgirl all over again. „Yes, mom. I do know that sugar is bad for me, but it sure makes bland food taste better. Also, sweets can help elevate your mood, you know? It is Scientifically proven, at least in small dosages.“ The blonde nodded at this, telling her friend in a teasing manner. „If that is what allows you to sleep better at night then suit yourself, Dee. To each their own, I guess.“

The two women soon started cooking together, Dee soon having gotten the drill, being a great cook herself. The uncanny scent of porridge soon filled the small trailer of Anastasia, helping to ground her. That was until a question suddenly wormed its way from her brain to her lips, her subconscious begging to be heard. „By the way. Have you ever felt like somebody's eyes were on you for the whole of one of your performances? I am not referring to the regular feeling of the audience's eyes being fixed on you, but a specific pair of eyes that felt like it was burning into you?“

The older woman was stumped at her friend's unusual question, shaking her head, answering her with a question of her own. „Did you experience that sensation during last night's performance, sweetie? That does sound rather concerning if I may say so. Do you think it could have to do with the big black wolf?“ Anastasia thought about this for a moment before telling her. „No, that is impossible. It had nothing to do with that and yes, I did experience it during last night's performance and for the first time at that. It was most unsettling, but fortunately, I only came to realize it once I was back at my trailer already.“

Dee nodded slowly at this, humming, deep in thought. Taking her friend's undeniably good looks into consideration she stated. „Maybe your feeling was right and you were being intensely watched by a member of last night's audience. Have you ever considered that, sweetie?“ Anastasia was stunned at her friend's words. Why would anyone watch her performance that intently? It was beyond her. Suffice it to say Anastasia hadn't considered that possibility at all before, not deeming herself worthy of as much as a second glance.

The day had gone by rather quickly. During lunchtime, Pjotr had checked in on his daughter, stunned to find her in the company of Dee. Knowing the older girl's preferences he sincerely hoped the older woman had not tried making a move on her. Surely, they had had that conversation before, but he could not help feeling concerned any less.

The older man had informed the two young women of a meeting that was to be held for all members of their family in the evening. Knowing her father only held such meetings when he had important announcements to make, Anastasia felt herself tense. Hopefully, it was positive news for once. In her current state, she was not sure she would be able to take bad news on top of everything.

The hour of the meeting had soon come, the young woman's nerves merely contained thanks to her older friend's reassurance and calming presence. The two of them had spent the whole day together. When the two friends arrived at Pjotr's trailer most of the other members of their theater family had already gathered around the bonfire, holding mugs filled with what Anastasia assumed to be Earl Gray tea, her father's favorite in their hands, wrapped in blankets to shield their bodies from the rather chilly May evening air.

Anastasia was unsure for a moment where she was supposed to sit until a familiar voice could be heard. „Nastya! Over here. Come sit next to me.“ A small smile formed on the blonde's face when her eyes met those of the youngest member of their family. Natascha, who came from Russia just like herself was something like a little sister to the stoic young woman. She walked over to her, taking a seat next to her. „Good evening, Natascha. It has been a while since we last talked. How do you enjoy Ireland so far?“

The young girl's face lit up with a wide smile, telling the older girl. „Yes, it has been a while. We should play chess again sometime. I love Ireland already! It's such a beautiful country. I love the landscapes.“ Anastasia nodded, smiling softly at the young girl's enthusiasm, her tone gentle. „I am pleased to hear you enjoy this country, Natascha. I concur. I miss our chess sessions.“

The meeting to Anastasia's dismay turned out to be her father's announcement that they would be staying in Carbury for a while longer. Having been on the road for months with hardly any breaks and rest in between. Although Anastasia had to agree to her father's explanation she couldn't help but fear for their safety. Taking her odd looks into consideration she deemed it best to stay inside her trailer for as much as possible, only leaving it when necessary.

Once back in the safety of her trailer she retrieved her journal from its hiding spot, adding to her entry from this morning.

**May 17 th, Carbury, Ireland**

Papa has decided to stay in this town for a while longer, whatever that may mean. I feel rather unsure about staying in one place for too long, but his explanation convinced me. Truthfully we have been on the road for a long time with hardly any break in between stops. I have decided to stay inside my trailer for as much as possible, just to be on the safe side. Dee did not seem too happy about my declaration, but I am not like her, or Natascha who has been begging me to go explore the town along with her tomorrow. Knowing that I can never refuse that girl anything I can already mentally see myself walking the streets of this foreign town along with her tomorrow.

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia

The day after the theater performance her younger sister ever the tease had provoked her older sister incessantly, in the end making her lose her cool which to their misfortune Gretchen Janeway had witnessed, keeping true to her threat from the night before she had to her daughters' dismay grounded them indefinitely.

The first day home had been decent enough for Kate. Her father who felt compassion for his eldest daughter's situation successfully managed to distract the young girl with farm work. When Kate sank into her bed in exhaustion thanks to a day filled with hard physical labor. She soon dozed off into oblivion.

_Kate found herself sitting in what she recognized to be a theater. To her surprise, she was the sole audience. She couldn't for the life of her remember how she ended up here and what it was that she was about to see. The curtain parted, to her shock revealing a familiar tall figure in a suit, the low deep candor of his voice sending shivers down the whole of Kate's body. His impossibly blue eyes were fixed on hers._

„ _Good evening, Kate. I had been wondering when I may be able to see you again.“ Kate blinked in surprise at his words, the heat rushing to her cheeks, her voice audibly shaking. „Y-you have? I missed you, Nikolai, but this is wrong. Why am I even here?“ The young man left the stage, joining Kate in the audience, sitting down next to her, one hand caressing her arm. „Does this feel wrong, Kate?“_

_The young redhead shook her head, gulping down in panic. What was going to happen next? Inwardly cursing her inexperience she expectantly looked at Nikolai who's face to her shock was now mere inches from her own until a familiar teasing voice could be heard, destroying the moment. „Katie and Nikolai sitting on a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g!“_

Kate woke up in a cold sweat the next morning, embarrassment at her dream bringing the heat to her cheeks. 'Oh my. This is bad. This man probably doesn't even know I exist. Also, I am grounded and unable to meet him again for real...' A groan left her lips, ruffling her hair in frustration she muttered under her breath. „Curse you, Phoebe!“


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate sneaks out from her room at night, going to the local pub where she makes the unexpected encounter of a mysterious stranger that only further confuses her already overwhelming feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers. I'm back with another chapter. I hope you will enjoy it. If you do, please make sure to let me know. Comments are always very much appreciated. :)

Night had fallen over the small Irish town of Carbury. Despite the late hour, the streets were buzzing with life. Anastasia, unable to resist the resilient pleas of her friends Dee and Natascha had, in the end, accompanied them. Thanks to one of Dee's special concoctions, the young woman's facial enhancements had vanished for the night, leaving her appearing like any other citizen. Despite her friends' efforts to try and get Anastasia to dress casually, she'd insisted on dressing in her old rags, wearing a hood that covered her long blonde hair.

The trio of friends had soon come across a pub, called 'The Faerie Queene' which they decided to have dinner and drinks at. Anastasia, thanks to her physique was not allowed to consume alcohol of any kind, as it was a threat to her health and could even be lethal. Natascha, merely being eight years old of age, of course, was not allowed to consume any drink with a percentage either. Dee, knowing this and being the good friend she was decided that for tonight she'd stick to drinking non-alcoholic beverages as well. In all honesty, Pjotr, Anastasia's father had lectured her earlier and warned her to not do any 'funny business' with his daughter. Lord knew, being intoxicated such a thing was way more likely to happen, so she decided to play it safe.

At the same time, night had fallen on the Janeway farm as well. The two sisters were still very much grounded and not allowed to leave their family grounds. The exception to that rule being Phoebe's daily trips to and from the local school she went to and which she these days was accompanied to and fetched from by her mother, Gretchen Janeway personally, to ensure the youngest Janeway wouldn't try going anywhere else or meet with friends. Kate was on the brink of insanity. During the day the hard labor on the farm kept her busy, hardly ever allowing her mind to wander. The night time was a whole other story.

It was that night, Kate decided she had finally had enough and came up with a plan to sneak out of her room once she knew the rest of her family was asleep, to go into town. After she had laid in bed for quite some time, the house finally having turned quiet, the redhead carefully got up from her bed and tiptoed over to her room's window which conveniently was already opened. 'Almost too easy. Better be extra careful, just in case.' Kate thought to herself while jumping out of her bedroom window with the agility of a cat.

Kate allowed herself to take in a deep breath, inhaling the crisp night air and filling her lungs with it before swiftly making her way through the fields instead of taking the direct way into the town center, just to be on the safe side. 'Better safe than sorry.' Kate mused to herself, a look of grim determination on her graceful features giving her an air of authority. While she walked through the fields, her eyes fell down onto her body, inspecting her outfit of choice for her 'night on the town', reassuring herself that no crinkles had formed on her dress which to her relief was not the case.

The young girl had soon reached the town center where to her surprise the trailers of the theater group were still parked. 'They're still here!' Kate was delighted at the discovery, her heart beating faster. She couldn't help but wonder what Nikolai might be doing at this moment. Was he in his trailer? She shook her head softly to get rid of the fogginess that had formed in there. The light of the local pub 'The Faerie Queene' were shining invitingly. Kate figured that it couldn't hurt to go there and warm herself up. It had gotten rather chilly out and her outfit wasn't fit for the weather.

Nastya was still sated from her shared lunch with Dee. The oldest of the trio to her surprise ordered a rather big meal, wolving it down like she was starved which made young Natascha chuckle at the funny sight, while Anastasia merely shook her head at her friend's behavior. 'At least they are enjoying themselves.' she thought to herself solemnly while gingerly nipping on her hot chocolate, a drink Natascha had recommended to her. It did taste divine, Nastya had to admit. Natascha herself was happily drinking her own hot chocolate and munched her own plate of today's special for dinner.

The tall blonde's eyes went up at the sound of steps approaching the pub, her enhanced hearing indicating the newcomer's arrival way before her friends looked up at the opening of the entrance. It felt like time stood still when Anastasia's eyes met the curious blue of what could easily be described as the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen. Shocked at her own breath hitching and quickened heartbeat, the confused blonde quickly averted her gaze, unable to handle the piercing blue that seemed to stare directly into her soul.

The mood had shifted in the pub once the new guest had arrived. The barkeep joyfully greeted the young girl, seemingly knowing her. Anastasia forced herself not to eavesdrop on the private conversation, despite her curiosity regarding the redhead's identity. 'Those eyes. Why does it feel like I have seen them before? This is impossible. I have never been to Ireland before. My imagination must be playing tricks on me. I should go back to my trailer. It has gotten rather late and the air in here is rather thin.'

Kate tried her best not to be too obvious in watching the young girl in the back. What she recognized to be the young illusionist from the theater group who had performed after Nikolai as well as a young girl sat at the table with her. Did this mean the young girl who was admittedly dressed in a rather shaggy outfit, much unbefitting those beautiful crystal blue eyes was part of the theater group as well? How come she did not recognize her from the performance?

Kate's mood dropped when she saw the young girl get up from her seat, exchanging a few words with her companions before leaving the pub. Following a sudden instinct, the redhead quickly dropped some change on the table after emptying the contents of her mug in record time, leaving the building moments after the tall girl, hot on her heels, all the while making sure to stay in the shadows to not get caught stalking.

'Gods, Katie. What on Earth are you doing? Since when are you so desperate that you're stalkin' what you deem to be a pretty lass all the way to her place? What would ma and dad think? Much less Phoebe...' the mere aspect of that overly nosy little sister of hers finding out about her nightly activities out of all people send unpleasant shivers down Kate's spine. It sure was a cold night, especially considering it was almost nearing the end of May.

The young girl gasped in realization. What date was it again? If she was not mistaken it would soon be her birthday. Kate brushed the thought off for the moment when it turned out that she had lost sight of her target. 'Shoot! Where did she go? Ah, shucks, I lost her.' The young girl ruffled her fiery hair in frustration. Unbeknownst to her, a certain blonde sighed heavily, leaning against the doorframe of her trailer, heart beating erratically. Uncertain if her tactics to shake off her 'stalker' had been successful she cautiously moved the curtain to peek out of her window. In the light of the streetlamp in front of their camp she spotted the retreating figure of the redhead from earlier at the pub, her form visibly deflated. Anastasia was deeply disturbed and confused as to what to make out of this. 'Who is she and why would she follow me? Can it be that she is one of 'them'? Shall I inform papa about this or Dee?'

The young girl sank down onto her bed, fishing the worn brown leather journal out of its hiding, eager to write a new entry, hoping that putting her thoughts down in written form might help her see more clearly and bring order to the chaos of her mind. If she detested anything it was chaos. Everything had to be in perfect order, she had to be in control. Otherwise, there was no guarantee of what might happen to herself and those close to her. Anastasia opened a new page of her journal, sighing softly before she started to write.

**May 18 th, 1847, Carbury, Ireland**

Today started off rather uneventful. I stayed in my trailer most of the time, papa, Dee, and Natascha taking turns in visiting me. Apparently they deemed it necessary for me to have company. As much as I appreciate their caring for me and my well-being, I had to throw them out eventually, papa and Dee's argument unbearable. I could hear everything they discussed. Papa accused Dee of 'taking advantage' of me. What is he thinking? It almost seemed like he was jealous because I spend more time with her these days than with him. I do feel guilty to have neglected him like this ever since the night of the performance. With my current state being anything but acceptable, however, I can not help but prefer Dee's company over his. I hope he will eventually come to understand this. Tonight Natascha and Dee, as I had already suspected managed to convince me to accompany them on a trip to the center of town. We went to a pub and I drank 'hot chocolate' for the first time which Natascha had recommended to me. It was divine! I think it might be one of my new favorites. My visit to the pub was cut short when a young woman entered the place. It felt like she stared all the way into the depths of my soul with those piercing blue eyes of hers. For a moment there I felt like I could not breathe. Her appearance felt so unreal like she was not from this world. I am usually not one to believe in other-worldly phenomena, but even I have heard of the legends of fairies that are supposedly living in this country, in the disguise of ordinary humans. Those eyes of hers. Just why does it feel like I have seen them before? I can not for the life of me explain this weird feeling of recognition to myself. Curious. The most mysterious and, admittedly, slightly frightening thing was that she seemed to follow me home. I managed to shake her off and arrived back in my trailer safe and sound. Yet, I feel like I will have to be more cautious from now on. No more nightly outings. Natascha and Dee certainly will not approve of this, but I can not risk anything.

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia

Kate had practically run back home to the farm, heart beating wildly in her chest, the blood rushing in her ears. Her mind was filled with images of those crystal blue eyes of the stranger at the pub. 'Who are you and why did it feel like you ran away from me?' Kate sighed once she lay back on her bed, not minding to take off her shoes and dress off first. This night had turned out quite differently than she'd initially planned. Instead of re-encountering Nikolai, she had fallen for the haunting eyes of a stranger who outwardly appeared much like a beggar. 'Ma surely wouldn't be pleased...'

Kicking off her boots, momentarily forgetting her sleeping family and the rather late hour she retrieved her diary from its hiding, quickly opening a new page, her pen flying over the page as she wrote her new entry feverishly, fueled by the adrenaline rush of her nightly actions.

**May 18 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

You won't believe what happened tonight! I finally managed to successfully sneak out undetected and went into town. Turns out Nikolai and his people are still here! Their trailers were still parked where I'd last seen them the night of the performance. I would've expected for them to long be gone and be at their tour's next stop by now. Guess, I was wrong. The question is. How long are they still gonna stay here? Will I be able to see him again, at least one more time? I was about to search for his trailer earlier but was lacking the courage. What would he be thinking would I simply show up there? He'd surely deem me crazy. I went to 'The Faerie Queene' instead. It seemed to magically draw me in with the warm light shining through the windows. It sure's been a cold night tonight. Mike, the barkeep was a little too happy to see me. I only hope he won't tell ma I came to his place tonight. Else, I'll be doomed! Anyway, there at the bar I saw her! The most hauntingly beautiful crystal blue eyes, the rest of her face sadly mostly disguised by a hood, just like her hair, yet it no doubt was a young woman. She must've been a member of the theater group as well. That exotic beauty who also performed that night was in her company and a little girl. The girl was dressed in rags much unbefitting those beautiful blue eyes of hers. When she left the pub I had this strong urge to follow her to which I gave in. I managed to stay hidden in the shadows for the longest time, but in the end, got distracted and lost her. I'm really such a fool sometimes! What an amateur move to think about my birthday when on a secret mission to follow the mysterious stranger. Now, I do not only want to see Nikolai again but also that mysterious stranger from the pub. I must really be losing it! I'm technically still very much grounded. Let's just hope and pray that barkeep will keep his mouth shut around ma.

That's it for today. I'll update you tomorrow.

Kate


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is unable to keep her curiosity and hormones at bay and is determined to find either Nikolai or that mysterious stranger again. What she finds might be more than she bargained for however...

When Kate woke up the next morning it was to her sister's yelling. „Rise and shine, Katie! We're waiting for you downstairs. Breakfast is ready.“ The young girl rubbed her eyes, sitting up once Phoebe's words had wormed their way through her still sleep dazed mind. Seconds later she bolted out of the room, grabbing her clothes, sprinting over to the bathroom, calling out over her shoulder at her sister who looked at her in astonishment. „I'll be right there, shortie.“

Phoebe in her shock failed to even notice that nickname she dreaded so much being used to address her, simply nodding her head and taking the stairs back down to inform their parents of Kate's upcoming arrival which turned out to be unnecessary as only a second later the older Janeway sister was walking inside the kitchen, greeting everyone around with a cheerful. „Good morning!“ Her parents exchanged a look before answering her in kind. „Good morning, Katie.“ Edward Janeway smiled at his eldest daughter and asked her in his warm voice. „Had a good night's rest, pumpkin?“ Kate had a hard time not to blush at the question, guilt gripping at her heart for a moment before she answered truthfully. „I did actually, pa. How about you?“

It was true. After finishing her diary entry the last night Kate had miraculously fallen asleep without trouble, dreaming of curious blue eyes clouded up in mystery and oddly enough she dreamt of the sky filled with stars. Kate was still confused about the meaning of her own dream, but her attention got diverted by her father's reply to her question. „So did I. Your mother however claimed she had heard weird sounds around the house which kept waking her up. I told her it was probably just the wind howlin'.“ Kate's heart almost stopped at this and her mother's remark. „It wasn't the wind howlin', Ed. I told ya, it sounded way different than that.“

Kate felt awful then and there, all her earlier appetite having subsided. If her mother would be able to put two and two together she would be faced with ultimate doom. 'If only I had not been so foolish to sneak out last night.' Knowing she had a lot of hard physical work ahead of her again today, Kate forced herself to clean the plate with breakfast regardless of her lack of appetite and the uncomfortable knot that had formed in her stomach caused by the panic of her mother figuring out her nightly activities.

If Gretchen Janeway knew or even suspected something she was very good at hiding it. After successfully finishing another day of hard farm work, the Janeway family was currently sitting together for dinner. To Kate's surprise, her mother unexpectedly brought up the theater performance they had watched together a few days ago. „I did quite enjoy that theater performance we watched that night. Those actors were quite talented. Though I did not agree with everything, it was a nice change.“

Kate smiled at her mother, positively surprised at her reaction, about to answer her but was beat by her little sister who chimed in. „Katie seemed to enjoy herself a lot too. Right, big sis?“ Kate was on the verge of shooting her death stare at Phoebe for that remark but remembering that they were under their mother's eagle eye, smiled and nodded. „I did and I'm really glad to hear you had a good time too, ma. How about you, pa? Did you like the performances?“ Edward Janeway smiled brightly at his oldest daughter and nodded. „I did, pumpkin. It was a special evening. Thank ya for takin' us there with you.“

Kate's heart warmed at her father's words. They soon finished dinner and Kate went right up to her room. Once there, the door firmly locked behind her she grabbed the latest novel she had started reading to kill time while being grounded. The book was titled Fanny Hill by John Cleland and it was the best find she'd made at the local library in a while. She knew that if her mother would find she had a book of the likes of that one in her possession being grounded would be her smallest concern. To Kate's chagrin reading the erotic novel only further fueled her raging hormones and fantasies involving a certain blue-eyed stranger.

The redhead soon put the offending book away again, counting the hours until everyone around the house had fallen asleep, despite her better judgment Kate had decided to once again sneak out of the house, desperate to find either Nikolai or last night's blue-eyed stranger. Just like the night before she soundlessly escaped through her already open bedroom window, practically gliding into the night. Prepared for the chilly May night air this time, Kate was wearing a wool cardigan over her dress.

Like the night before she chose to take the way through the fields rather than the direct route which may risk her getting detected. This time she was determined to go straight to the camp of the theater group. 'Hopefully, they are still around. I couldn't take it if they'd left without me being able to see Nikolai, or that mysterious girl again...' Once she'd arrived at the camp which to her relief was still standing where it had been the night before, Kate felt her nerves kicking in much like the night before.

Balling her fists in grim determination, she forced down the fear that threatened to take over her again at the aspect of being faced with the object of her dreams and fantasies alike. Would the stranger recognize her from the night prior? She walked around unsure for a while, not knowing which was the trailer of either Nikolai or that blue-eyed stranger. Her heart jumped in surprise when a voice suddenly could be heard from behind her. „Looking for anything?“

Kate felt like she'd just been caught red-handed, the heat crawling up from her ears to her cheeks, she slowly turned around. She inwardly sighed in relief when she was met by the gentle brown eyes of the exotic illusionist. Fortunately for young Kate, the young brunette beauty had decided to wear more casual, less revealing clothing that night much like when she'd seen her at the pub. She smiled tentatively, an instinct telling her she could trust this stranger, she decided to give it a shot and asked. „I was looking for Nikolai. Could you tell me where I could find him?“

The brunette tilted her head curiously at this, her gaze intense, making Kate shrink back at the uncomfortable feeling of the woman staring straight into her soul. Her heart was racing, perspiration forming on her forehead, anxiously awaiting her answer. The gentle brown eyes were smiling along with her as the young woman told her. „Come along with me. I was just about to go look for that one myself. We have matters to discuss. By the way, I'm Dee.“

Kate returned a smile of her own at Dee and bowed slightly. „I'm Kate. It's nice to meet ya, Dee. I really enjoyed your performance that night. It was quite impressive!“ The older girl smiled appreciatively at this, answering her earnestly. „I am glad to hear you thought so. It's nice to meet you too, Kate. I love your hair! Is it naturally this red, or do you dye it?“ At this Dee took a strand of Kate's hair between two fingers, looking at it from up close. The young girl felt her cheeks heat up at that uncalled for contact and told her silently. „It is my natural hair color. It's a family heritage from my father's side, just like the freckles.“

Dee upon noticing her own overstepping of social boundaries quickly let go of the strand of hair, bowing her head in apology, her own cheeks now tinted dark. „I'm sorry, Kate. I forgot to ask you if it was fine for me to touch your hair first. I got kinda carried away there...“ The young girl couldn't help but chuckle at the older's antics, patting her softly on the arm in a reassuring gesture. „It's quite alright, Dee. No harm's done. I was just a lil' caught off-guard for a moment there, is all.“

Dee audibly sighed in relief at this, smiling at the younger girl, immediately detecting her honesty. She stopped before Anastasia's trailer, unsure of how to proceed for a moment. Kate who noticed the hesitance coming from the older girl told her. „If it's alright with you I'd like to have a word with Nikolai first. I won't be long, no worries.“ Dee was about to protest, alarmed at Kate's announcement, yet she had no time to intervene as the young redhead had already vanished inside the trailer. Dee's heart went out to the owner of the trailer, hoping against hope that her young friend would not receive the shock of her life.

When Kate entered the trailer she at first thought that no one was inside. She had knocked earlier, not only once but receiving no response she'd entered the trailer, ready to wait for the owner inside if necessary. She was about to sit on the bed when to her surprise and shock she noticed long blonde hair sticking out from underneath the blanket. Her gaze fell further down, unable to stop herself, a gasp leaving her lips at the sight of the curve of breasts which were fortunately for her covered by the blanket.

'How can this be? This is a girl. Did Dee bring me to the wrong trailer? Or is this Nikolai's girlfriend?“ The thought made Kate feel sick. She stumbled back, about to leave the trailer when the figure on the bed stirred.

Anastasia's eyes opened, her body shivering. She mused to herself that it had gotten rather cold. She rubbed at her eyes to clear her vision which was still obscured from sleep. Her heart started to beat faster when she saw a strangely familiar figure standing close to the door. Once her vision had readjusted she to her shock recognized it to be the redheaded stranger from the previous night. Wrapping the blanket even more securely around herself on instinct she asked the stranger, voice stern. „Who are you and what are you doing in my trailer?“

The redhead looked at her with wild eyes, stammering. „I was looking for Nikolai. Dee told me I could find him here. I'm Kate Janeway and I wanted to talk to Nikolai. I am sorry for intruding on your privacy like this. That was not my intention. I should probably go...“ Anastasia was stunned at the young girl's words. 'She is looking for Nikolai? Why? I do not know her...' Anastasia mused to herself, suspicion of the motives of Kate overcoming her. When she didn't receive any answer, Kate was about to leave the trailer but was stopped by Anastasia. „Wait... What did you want from Nikolai? Can I relay any message to him from you?“

Kate turned around towards the young girl when out of her peripheral she caught sight of the rags she'd seen the mysterious stranger at the pub wearing the previous night. Suddenly it dawned on her. 'It's her! What is she doing at Nikolai's trailer though?' Kate was utterly confused until her gaze met that of those crystal blue eyes again before lingering on a familiar pair of plump lips. „Y-you? How?“ To say Kate was overwhelmed would have been a great understatement. Out of a sudden, she fled the scene, leaving behind a very confused, hurt Anastasia.

The door to her trailer opened again and in came a concerned-looking Dee. She immediately walked over to her young friend, wrapping her in a warm embrace. The shaking blonde could not contain her emotions anymore and sobbed heartbreakingly into the older woman's embrace. Dee who was used to her friend's often sudden emotional outbursts by now, tightened her hold on her, whispering words of reassurance into the distraught girl's ear. After sitting like this for a while, both of them having lost track of time, Anastasia mumbled, gaze downcast. „She was offended by my looks. There is no other explanation for her sudden departure. I shocked her, freaked her out...“

Dee's heart hurt at her friend's words, unable to believe that to have been the case after having witnessed Kate's genuine interest in her friend earlier. Following a sudden instinct, she asked her hesitantly. „Sweetie, what did you two talk about? Kate was in here for quite long and I got pretty worried when she didn't come back at first...“ Anastasia bit her bottom lip at this then she replied. „She told me that she was looking for Nikolai. Then she said 'Y-you? How?' and suddenly she ran away.“

Dee frowned at this, by now having started to pace the room until her eyes much like Kate's before fell on the rags hanging on the chair next to the bed. Her eyes widened and she exclaimed. „She figured it out! She must've realized your disguise and it shocked her. Kate wasn't aware that you are in fact a girl too and not a boy, sweetie. However, something tells me that there is more to this. She didn't seem very straight to me...“ Anastasia coughed at her friend's words, eyeing her. „What made you reach this conclusion, Dee?“

The older woman smiled knowingly. „Trust my instincts on this, sweetie. I'm an empath, remember? Also, I have certain abilities to detect these kinds of things. I could teach you one day if you are interested. However, I doubt your father would agree to this. One thing's for sure. Kate will come back. This wasn't the last we've seen of her. You can count on my instincts.“ Anastasia eyed her friend suspiciously but decided to nod. She desperately wanted to believe that Dee was right and she'd be able to meet Kate again. To the reason for that, she was as of yet uncertain...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the day of Kate's birthday and she decides to invite the mysterious young blonde performer to her party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am back with a new chapter for this story. I hope you'll enjoy it. If you do please be so kind to let me know. :)

**May 19 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

I barely made it home intact. This is all so crazy! I just got back from the theater group's camp, more specifically Nikolai's trailer. When I went to the camp earlier I coincidentally stumbled into Nikolai's exotic friend, who as I now know is called Dee. She was very friendly and kind and agreed to accompany me to Nikolai's trailer which I to my surprise recognized to be the same one I'd lost trail of the mysterious stranger I met at the pub the night before. This turned out to be no coincidence. In the trailer, I didn't find Nikolai but said stranger sleeping on the sole bed standing in the admittedly rather cramped space. It definitely was that stranger, her rags were hung over a chair next to the bed. That face though. I would recognize that anywhere, especially those plump lips and piercing ice-blue eyes. The stranger is Nikolai, but how is that possible? I'm so confused! The worst thing is tomorrow is gonna be my birthday and I'm in absolutely no mood to celebrate either. I'm still grounded as well. If I could invite that stranger to my party it would be a whole other story. What am I thinking? She's never gonna agree to that. After all, we technically don't even know each other. This is so frustrating and complicated! Maybe mom has forgotten all about my birthday anyway and the party's gonna fall flat this year. That might honestly be for the best under the current circumstances...

I'll try to sleep now and I'll update you tomorrow.

Kate

Kate stirred awake by the first rays of the morning sun shining through her still open bedroom window. She groaned and tried covering her sore eyes from the offending light, but soon had to realize that her attempts proved to be futile. Figuring she might as well get up and make herself useful, Kate uncovered her eyes, sighing softly before jumping up from her bed. She wasn't looking forward to this day, but secretly hoped her family had forgotten all about what today was. After getting ready she dressed in her work clothes which consisted of a pair of linen pants and a wide shirt along with her work boots.

As she transcended the stairs the uncanny scent of freshly baked apple pie greeted her nostrils causing her stomach to rumble. Kate inwardly cursed her traitorous stomach. 'If mom has already baked her famous apple pie, that's no good sign. She hasn't forgotten. What was I thinkin'? Gretchen Janeway never once forgot the birthday of a family member before...' The young girl sighed softly and braced herself for her family's birthday wishes. When she entered the kitchen her whole family, including her grinning little sister was gathered there around the kitchen table.

Kate felt a blush threaten to creep up from her neck to her cheeks which she managed to suppress when three pairs of eyes were looking at her expectantly. The embarrassed redhead slowly made her way to her own seat, feeling the eyes follow her every move. This only resulted in her insecurity to rise which wasn't something Kate was used to, usually being a confident young woman. When she sat down, her mother suddenly asked. „Katie, why are ya dressed in your work clothes today? It's May 20th...“

Kate felt the strong urge to roll her eyes, Phoebe who sat next to her was unable to hide her mirth, chuckling softly which only annoyed Kate further. She balled one of her hands that was hidden under the table, suppressing her rage before answering her mother matter-of-factly. „I wasn't sure if you'd want to celebrate my birthday considering Phoebe and I are still grounded. So I thought I'd better be prepared for work just in case.“ Her father looked at her, shock clearly visible in those emerald eyes. „Pumpkin, of course, we're gonna celebrate your birthday! It's not every day that you turn sixteen after all. Your mom has good news for you. Right, Gretchen?“

Her mother cleared her throat at this, rubbing her neck sheepishly which confused Kate. Both Phoebe and Kate's eyes widened in surprise when she exclaimed. „Right... Since you girls have been behaving well these past few days I've decided to lift your ban from leaving the farm. Starting today you're free to go wherever you please, whenever ya please again.“ Both sisters' eyes lit up visibly at this, wide grins stretching over their faces. They both got up from their seats, taking their unexpecting mother into a bear hug which made the older woman smile widely. It had been a while since she'd been hugged by both her daughters in that manner which was mainly due to the fact that the two girls had turned into rivals rather than friends over the past few years.

Once Kate and Phoebe were both sitting in their respective chairs again, the former asked her mother, the excitement visible in her eyes. „Ma, am I right thinkin' that there's apple pie? I'd love to try a piece of that. It smells so good. You know how much I love it.“ Her mother chuckled softly at her eldest daughter's antics, a knowing smile on her lips. „The pie was supposed to be for later, but since you're the birthday girl and I know how much you love your apple pie fresh from the oven I saved you a piece which you can eat now.“

Kate happily clapped her hands at this, looking much like a child at Christmas, or a seal at a Circus, as Phoebe mused to herself, snickering softly to herself which she concealed with one hand. When a soft involuntary moan left Kate's lips upon taking her first bite, her younger sister ultimately lost her cool, breaking out into a laughing fit which made all eyes turn to her. Phoebe's cheeks turned bright red at the sudden exposure, not too fond of being the center of attention. She quickly excused herself for school. Kate was feeling quite weirded out by her sister's antics, but shrugged it off, knowing the girl was rather strange in general.

After finishing breakfast, the older Janeway girl decided to go to the theater group's camp once more to see if they were still around and if so if she may be able to convince the mysterious blonde who she only knew with her alias Nikolai to come to her birthday party this evening. She doubted that this would be possible considering the way the girl had reacted to her appearance at her trailer the previous night and the fact that they technically were still very much strangers didn't exactly make her agreeing to her invitation any more likely.

It was already close to lunchtime when Kate finally reached the center of town. She sighed in relief when she saw the trailers still standing in the same area they'd stood in the days before. Her heart was pounding heavily, her hands shaking in nervosity when she approached the familiar trailer. She was about to chicken out, but a familiar voice stopped her. „Kate! I knew you'd come back here. Nastya is in her trailer.“ Kate was confused for a moment before the gears in her head started working. 'So that's her real name! It sounds pretty. I wonder where it derives from.', Kate mused to herself.

When she noticed the older woman still looking at her expectantly, she quickly nodded. „Yes, I'd like to talk to her about something. Will she want to see me though?“ Dee smiled brilliantly at this, ushering the young girl ahead. „Of course she wants to see you! Don't be afraid, sweetheart. Nastya is a little shy at first, especially around strangers, but once she's warmed up to you she's the sweetest girl you can imagine and she's got a heart of gold. I trust you won't break it...“ The brunette had muttered the last words, but Kate had still been able to make them out, wondering if she knew more than she let on. The thought made Kate feel rather uncomfortable, but she suppressed the odd feeling for the time being and decided to concentrate on her mission of extending her invitation to her birthday party to Nastya.

Kate's heart did an odd flutter at the thought of the other girl's name, the sound of it evoking unknown emotions inside her that hit her like a storm. She sucked in a breath once she stood outside the trailer, taking all her courage together before knocking on the door much like the night before. Shuffling sounds could be heard from inside then a thud followed by a curse in a language Kate did not recognize but guessed must be the other girl's mother tongue. Approaching steps could be heard next before the door opened, revealing the stunning sight of a pleasantly disheveled Nastya, her long golden mane framing her face in unruly curls, her eyes bleary as if she'd just woken up, the shirt she was wearing haphazardly buttoned, the first two buttons opened, revealing milky white skin, effectively taking Kate's breath away.

Their eyes met for a moment, shocked silence hanging between them before Kate cleared her throat, stumbling out. „Today's my birthday and I was... wondering... would you maybe like to... ya know... join my family and me for the... eh... for the party? Maybe? You can bring your friends if you want to. The more the merrier as we here in good 'ole Ireland say... I... I'll shut up now. I'm rambling... Sorry...“ Kate's cheeks by now had turned crimson, her gaze glued to her feet, her shoes suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. The smitten young girl's heart performed a salto when a pleasant alto told her, the uncanny rolling of the r's leaving no room for doubt who the voice belonged to. „Are you sure that it would be alright for me to join your party? I would love to, but... Your family might not approve...“

Kate frowned at the other girl's words, wondering why her family should not approve of a girl as beautiful and sweet as Nastya to join her party. Sure, she was a stranger, but her family was known to be very hospitable and friends of Kate or Phoebe were always welcome. To the two girl's surprise, a familiar third voice chimed in. „Pardon my intrusion, but Nastya would love to join your party, Kate and so would I if that's alright with you. Sweetie, you don't always have to be so humble. Kate invited you to her party because she wants you to be there. Why would her family not approve of your presence there? You are a kind, well-mannered girl after all. I'm sure Natascha would also love to join us.“

Nastya but her lip at Dee's words, knowing she could never say no to the woman. Still, she couldn't help but wonder why someone like Kate would go out of their way to invite her to their birthday party. Her out of all people. After their encounter of last night, she had been certain that she would never see her again, and now this. Nastya was not prepared. She felt utterly humiliated that Kate had seen her in her disheveled state two times in a row. She was ashamed to have greeted her like this. Had she known that it was Kate awaiting her outside of her door she would have at least combed through her hair...

The blonde felt the blood rush to her cheeks when she noticed two pairs of eyes looking at her expectantly. 'Oh no! This is embarrassing! I have completely forgotten to answer Kate.' She swallowed against the heavy lump that had formed in her throat before stating softly. „I would like to come to your party, Kate. When and where will it be held? Is there a certain 'dress code' that we will have to pay attention to? I must admit I do not own many clothes...“ To her surprise, a curious sound could be heard at this. When Nastya looked up, a funny feeling formed in the pit of her stomach at the sight of a giggling Kate. 'Oh my Lord! She is so beautiful! How do I deserve this?' She thought to herself, continuing to watch the other girl in awe, unable to keep herself from staring at the perfection standing in front of her.

Once Kate had calmed down she told Nastya light-heartedly. „The party will start at 6 pm at the Janeway farm. Just ask the barkeep of 'The Faerie Queene' for the directions. He's a good guy and a close friend of our family. As for clothes, there's no such thing as a 'dress code'. Your appearance is not important as long as you'll come around at all. Your presence will be more than enough. Also, don't ya dare think of getting me any gifts. The Janeway family doesn't care much for material things or clothes and such things. What matters is that you'll be enjoying yourselves.“

Nastya was about to protest to her last statement, 'enjoying herself' not being a matter she was particularly good at or experienced in, but at the look, Dee was shooting her she kept that statement to herself. Feeling 'tongue-tied' when those mesmerizing cerulean eyes met hers, Nastya was thankful for Dee's assistance who kindly told Kate. „Six pm at the Janeway farm. We will be there. You should get back home now, Kate. I'm sure there are still preparations to be done before the party, right?“ It looked much like Kate snapped out of a daze at this. The redhead nodded quickly and exclaimed. „Ma's waiting with lunch! I'd best be going now. I'll see ya later at the party. Bye!“

Nastya blinked in surprise as the other girl left at this, their shoulders brushing in the process, the contact so brief it might as well have been her mind playing tricks on her. 'That sure was... different.' The blonde shook her head to try and rid it of the fog that had formed in there. She had a hard time not to make an inappropriate sound when a whiff of Kate's scent hit her full force, tickling her nostrils. Thanks to her enhanced senses and memory she figured she'd probably never forget that special combination of scents that was uniquely Kate, just like that voice and that smile of hers.

The young girl felt her cheeks burn at Dee's sudden voice. „Was it alright of me to suggest Natascha and I are gonna accompany you to the party earlier, sweetie? Or would you have rather gone there on your own so you could spend some time alone with Kate and get to know each other better?“ Nastya couldn't help but cough at her question asking her friend, her voice sounding a little too hoarse for her own liking. „What are you implying, Dee? Why would I wish to spend time alone with Kate? It is her birthday party and as she stated earlier her family will be there as well, just like her friends most likely.“ Dee nodded at this and looked at her in a way the younger girl was unable to determine the meaning of. „Of course. I'm sorry for asking such a weird question, sweetie. Let's have lunch. Shall we?“

**May 20 th, 1847, Carbury, Ireland**

After eating lunch together, Dee left for her own trailer and I went to Natascha to ask her if she wants to accompany us to the party tonight. I was not in the least surprised when she immediately agreed. That girl is always first when it comes to making new friends and seeing new places. Also 'parties' are one of her favorite things in this world, as well as food which I am sure that there is going to be plenty of that at that party. I have never in my life been on a farm before. I wonder what it might be like. Are there any animals on that farm and if so what kinds? I have always been rather fond of animals, mainly cats. Oh, how I miss my Mikush. If only I could have brought him along when I joined the theater, but I had to leave him behind in Russia, just like so many other things that I cared for. I still wonder what caused a girl like Kate Janeway to invite me out of all people to her birthday party. She is so beautiful, confident, and intelligent. I am sure she has plenty of friends. Why would she want to befriend someone like me? She did not even ask about my implants, did not even question them. I sincerely hope this is not a trap or a sick joke. Lord knows I have experienced far too many of those in the past before...

I must get ready now. I am still unsure of what I am supposed to wear. She might have stated earlier that this would not matter, but I still want to look my best. After all her parents are there as well.

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nastya and her friends go to Kate's birthday party.

Following Kate's advice, Dee had gone to 'The Faerie Queene' and asked the barkeep Michael Sullivan for the directions to the Janeway farm which he happily gave the brunette, all the while attempting to flirt with her. Only thanks to her out of this world patience Dee managed to remain polite and keep her smile in check. She was damn glad once she was out of that pub again however, the crisp late May air clearing her infuriated mind, helping her to ground herself before going back to the camp. At the theater group's campsite, Nastya had just completed her outfit for the night which consisted of a simple white long-sleeve shirt, black pants, and her regular black boots.

Natascha who was in the trailer with the older girl had changed into a long skirt along with a wide shirt which she'd found in her 'big sister's' closet. Nastya couldn't help but chuckle softly at the adorable sight of the young girl dressed up like a mini version of herself. Natascha joined in on the laughing, finding the older girl's laughter infectious. Dee who entered the trailer this same moment couldn't help but gape at the rare sight of a carefree Nastya. Not wanting to disturb the two girls she silently walked over to the chair and took a seat, watching her friends' interaction for a while longer.

To the oldest girl's surprise, it was Nastya who asked a few minutes later in an amused tone. „Enjoying yourself, Dee?“ Feeling like she got caught red-handed, the brunette's cheeks darkened in embarrassment which was hardly visible thanks to the dim light in the trailer. She grinned at her tall friend and nodded. „I am, sweetie. It is a true joy to see you this carefree for once. The barkeep told me the directions to the farm, so we can leave whenever you're ready.“ The two younger girls gave a nod at this, Nastya asking her older friend. „Are you dressed already, Dee?“

The older woman frowned at the question before gasping in realization, exclaiming. „Oh my Goodness! I completely forgot to change myself! I won't be long, I promise. Sorry, girls!“ She rushed out of the trailer at this, resulting in another giggling fit of her younger friends. Nastya felt much like a child again herself, it had been years since she'd last been able to laugh in such a carefree manner and it honestly felt so good to let go for once. She smiled adoringly at her young substitute sister who was at the moment busy braiding her long hair.

Nastya bit her bottom lip, watching the young girl in amazement. Natascha who noticed her tall friend's looks asked. „Shall I do your hair too, Nastya? I can do other hairstyles too, not only braids.“ The older girl blushed softly at the question, nodding hesitantly. „I would... like that, Natascha. I am not accustomed to wearing my hair any other way than open, however. Is there, perhaps any 'hairstyle' that you could recommend to me?“ The younger girl grinned at this, nodding her head in determination. „Leave it to me, sis. You trust me, right?“ She looked up at the other girl who smiled softly and nodded her head. „I trust you.“ This made the younger girl's grin turn ever brighter. „Good to know.“

Natascha soon started combing through the unruly golden mane of her big sister who sat in her chair patiently, humming in content at the surprisingly to her oddly calming, relaxing treatment. Once her hair was tangle-free and impossibly shiny and soft, the young girl grabbed it, holding it together before fixing it into a high ponytail with a fluffy red ribbon. Dee who just got back from her own trailer, now dressed in a turquoise flowy dress and ballerinas gasped in surprise at the view of Nastya who she'd only ever seen with her hair open now sporting a high ponytail which accentuated her regal long neck, milky white skin exposed.

To Nastya's dismay, her facial implants were now exposed as well. Suddenly remembering something she shot a hopeful look in her older friend's direction, asking her. „Dee, do you by any chance still possess one of your potions which conceal my implants? They are rather exposed due to my new 'hairstyle' and I would rather not risk meeting Kate's family in this state.“ Dee smiled at this and nodded. „I do still have a few of those left actually since Pjotr told us that we'd stay here for a while still. Wait a moment, sweetie. I'll go get one real quick then we can leave once the effect of the potion is activated.“ Nastya got up. „I think it would be best if Natascha and I were to accompany you to your trailer, Dee. That way you will not have to get back here again. It is already rather late. Is it not?“

Dee was once again stunned at the younger girl's words, Nastya's enhanced senses and abilities still fascinating her even after four years of knowing her. Other people might be creeped out, or repulsed by this, but Dee and Natascha as well had learned to love and appreciate the young woman just the way she was. Once the potion was in effect, her implants invisible to the naked eye, Nastya along with her two friends left the camp. Her father who had at first been skeptical and hesitant to agree to their outing had agreed as soon as his daughter had used her infamous 'please' on him, something the old man could never refuse, especially along with those puppy dog eyes she gave him while saying it.

Being the only one who knew the directions, Dee led the way, Nastya memorizing it right away. The farm was not too far away as it turned out. The area was surrounded by fields which the blonde presumed must belong to the Janeway family as well. They were farmers after all. When the trio came near the main building, music and laughter could be heard. 'Fun will now commence.' Nastya thought to herself, her stomach having knotted up painfully due to anxiety.

Kate was currently watching her parents dance to the sound of her little sister playing the accordion, laughing happily as her father twirled her mother around. Her laughter died in her throat when she caught sight of her three guests from her peripheral, one of them in particular catching her eye. Kate turned around, walking over to the odd trio, almost not recognizing Nastya at first due to her drastic change of appearance. Kate suddenly felt insecure in her dress, fiddling with the bow around her waist.

When their eyes met, both Anastasia and Kate were stunned to silence for a moment, unable to do so much as blink. A cough could be heard, followed by a familiar gentle voice. „You look just lovely, Kate. The color of the dress nicely accentuates your eyes. Don't you think so too, sweetie?“ She looked at Nastya with an odd expression at this. The tall blonde swallowed, nodding slowly. „I agree. It is good to see you again, Kate.“ The redhead felt her cheeks grow warm at the other girl's words, butterflies flying wild in the pit of her stomach, her voice sounding raw when she replied. „Thank you. You look lovely as well, all of you. It's good to see ya again too.“

Kate ushered the three girls over to the main house, nerves suddenly kicking in at the aspect of having to introduce her new friends, especially Nastya to her parents for reasons she could not yet comprehend. She was merely aware that this was a moment of great importance and her parents' reaction played a huge role. All her fears soon dissipated, her parents and even Phoebe welcoming the trio warmly, treating them like they were close family to Kate's great relief. When the redhead noticed Nastya linger on the front porch, keeping a safe distance from the rest of the guests. Kate seizing the moment decided now was as good a time as ever to actually get to know the girl of her dreams, quite literally.

Nastya to Kate's surprise and slight shock, said long before she stood next to her. „Kate.“ The redhead had made sure to be extra quiet, careful not to startle the other girl which apparently proved to be futile. 'How did she do this?', the young Janeway girl asked herself. She shrugged off the odd feeling for the time being and came to rest next to Nastya, asking her gently. „Not fond of social gatherings?“ Anastasia felt caught at the redhead's question, her gaze turned down in shame, muttering. „Not particularly, no. I apologize for being 'no fun'.“ Kate chuckled softly at this which send a flutter to Nastya's stomach. „No need to apologize. In all honesty, I'm the same. I only celebrate my birthday to appease my family. They love festivities like this one and I don't have the heart to tell them that I'm not too fond of them myself. I'm glad you're here though. I was kinda afraid you might not show up after all...“

Nastya frowned at this. „Why would I not 'show up', Kate? You had invited me to your birthday and I promised to come. I always keep my promises.“ Kate bit her lip, the way the blonde's left eyebrow was arched along with that alluring deep voice of hers, resulting in her knees to go weak. 'Heavens, help me! How can anyone be this beautiful, so sensual? My poor heart! My books could've never prepared me for a girl like her.' Desperate for a distraction, Kate asked the tall girl. „Did you try the apple pie already? It's my favorite. My mom bakes the best apple pie in town.“ Nastya nodded softly. „I have not yet tried it, but if you think so highly of it, I think I should try it then, Kate.“ The redhead grinned at this, gently grabbing the other girl's arm, leading her to the kitchen where the cake stood on the table.

Kate blinked when she saw that there was exactly one piece of cake left glaring at her from the table. She put the cake on a plate, grabbing a fork and handing it over to Nastya who bit her lip. „Kate, are you sure that it is acceptable for me to eat the last piece of your favorite cake on your birthday, no less?“ Kate felt her heart figuratively melt at the blonde's act of compassion. She grinned and nodded, pushing the plate towards Nastya once more, ushering her to take it. „It's fine, Nastya. I really want you to try it, so I don't mind you eating it even if it's the last piece. I'll gladly give it to you.“

Suddenly feeling like a lightbulb went on inside her mind, the blonde suggested. „How about we share the cake? I am not a big eater actually and I only wanted to try it anyway. Would that be acceptable to you, Kate?“ Kate felt her cheeks heat up at the suggestion, remembering her classmates referring to things like these as an 'indirect kiss' since they would be sharing both the cake and the fork. Deciding to be bold Kate nodded and smiled brilliantly at the other girl. „Sure. Let's share the cake, Nastya.“

The tall girl scooped up a small bite of the cake, gingerly lifting the fork up to her plump lips, parting them. Kate was mesmerized by the sight of the beautiful blonde eating, making it look like a form of art. When a soft moan involuntarily left Nastya's lips, Kate had a hard time not to faint, her body feeling like it was on fire. 'Gods, what is going on with me? It's rather hard to keep my composure with this... goddess right there next to me.' Kate was wondering if the tall girl was teasing her, or if Kate herself was simply a naughty girl as her mother would call it and misinterpreted the other girl's actions.

Nastya licked her lips, an action that sent the blood rushing to Kate's cheeks, and exclaimed. „This is perfection! Thank you for introducing me to this 'dessert', Kate.“ The redhead grinned widely at this, accepting the plate Nastya held out to her and answered her. „I'm glad you liked it, Nastya. You're very welcome. Are you sure that you don't want to eat more of it?“ Nastya nodded. „I am sufficiently sated, for the time being, Kate. Thank you for asking. Feel free to eat the rest of the cake.“

Once Kate had finished eating the cake she linked arms with the other girl, both their hearts beating faster at the contact. „C'mon, let's hit the dance floor.“ Nastya blinked at that, confusion at the petite girl's words evident in her big blue eyes. Kate noticing this gasped and asked the taller girl. „Don't tell me you've never danced before?“ Nastya bit her bottom lip at this, answering embarrassingly. „I have not. May you... teach me, Kate?“ The redhead felt the butterflies go wild in the pit of her stomach at Nastya's question, nodding her head. „Sure, I can teach you, Nastya. It's not that hard really. I'm sure you're gonna get the hang of it quickly. Just follow my lead, alright?“ Nastya nodded in determination. „Understood.“

Soon enough the two girls were dancing to the music. It turned out Nastya was a natural which in all honesty didn't surprise Kate in the least, considering the other girl's agility and lithe built. Their bodies swayed gracefully, both girls having lost track of time. Only when a cough could be heard followed by Gretchen Janeway's voice did they part from each other, slowly snapping out of their daze. „Sorry to interrupt ya girlies when you're obviously having so much fun, but it is nearing 10 pm already, Katie. You need to get up early tomorrow mornin' after all and your guests still need to go back home.“

Both Kate and Nastya could not believe it was already this late. The past few hours seemingly having flown by in the blink of an eye. Kate immediately exclaimed. „I'm gonna bring my friends back home, ma. It's already dark after all and this was their first time coming to the farm after all. They might not find their way back on their own.“ Nastya was about to object, having memorized the way to and from the farm earlier on their way there, yet she decided to keep that fact to herself, secretly wishing Kate would accompany them back to the camp, so she could properly bid goodbye to her.

'You are acting selfishly. Kate's mother just told her that she has to get up early tomorrow. She should go to bed instead of accompanying you back home.' Nastya was fighting an inner battle which proved to be unnecessary with the redhead's mind being made-up. Gretchen, knowing her eldest daughter well enough to recognize that look of determination in her eyes gave a sigh. „Alright then, Katie. Suit yourself. Please make sure to be safe out there on your own when ya get back here though!“ Kate had a hard time not to roll her eyes at her mother's words, simply nodding. „Yes, ma. No worries. See ya later.“

Nastya was stunned when she found Natascha clinging to who she deemed must be Kate's younger sister, her eyes teary. „I don't wanna leave. Phoebe and I were having so much fun!“ Kate had a hard time not to snort at the young girl's words, unable to imagine anyone having fun with her little sister. Yet, even she had to admit that the two girls looked absolutely adorable together. She couldn't remember a time she'd seen her younger sister this heartbroken before while earlier she'd watched her dance happily with what she deemed to be Nastya's little sister, the resemblance between the two girls uncanny.

To Kate's surprise, her father's voice suddenly exclaimed. „Natascha can stay here overnight. If that is alright with her sister, that is.“ He looked at Nastya at this who blushed softly which Kate found to be very endearing. „That is acceptable. Be a good girl, Natascha.“ The young girl grinned from ear to ear at this, hugging the unexpecting blonde tightly before exclaiming cheerfully. „You know I always am a good girl, Nastya!“ The tall girl smiled at this and gently ruffled the young girl's hair. „I know. I trust you, Natascha. Sleep tight and sweet dreams. I will see you tomorrow.“ Natascha grinned and waved at the retreating trio. „See you tomorrow, sis. Sleep tight and sweet dreams to you too and to you as well, Dee!“

Kate led the two performers back to their camp without incident. Nastya knowing the redhead knew the path by heart used the opportunity to cautiously watch the beautiful young girl, taking in every little detail, every freckle on the other girl's face, the way her cerulean eyes twinkled in the dark, the way her lips curled when she smiled, small lines forming on her forehead and between her brows when she did, the way her pleasant husky voice sounded when she talked and her laughter that sounded like something out of this world.

Nastya remembered Irish legends of fairies at this, wondering for an odd moment if Kate Janeway could in fact be one of those magical creatures. She quickly dismissed the ridiculous thought, however, deeming it to be highly illogical. Far too soon they arrived back at Nastya's trailer. The blonde felt her heart go heavy at the aspect of having to part from this special girl she'd grown so fond of in the short time they'd known each other. Unsure of how to part from someone who was no longer a stranger, yet not yet a friend Nastya stood there stiffly for a moment before she felt a gentle squeeze on her right hand.

Their eyes met, Kate breathed out. „Good night, Nastya. I had a great time tonight. Hopefully, we can repeat this some time. Thank you for giving me the best birthday ever. You truly are a special person.“ Nastya felt her heart leap at the shorter girl's words, her cheeks tinted pink. „Good night, Kate. I had a great time tonight as well. I sincerely hope we can meet again some time as well. It was my pleasure. You truly are a special person as well, Kate. Have a safe trip home.“ Kate smiled softly, reluctant to let go of the other girl's soft, warm hand, not wanting to leave.

Nastya watched her part with a heavy heart before going back inside her trailer. Once she had undressed she lay on her bed, taking her journal out from its hiding spot, desperate to let out her thoughts, adding to her entry from earlier that day.

**May 20 th, 1847, Carbury, Ireland **

Kate's birthday was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I had been so reluctant to go there at first, remembering the few social functions I had attended in the past. This was nothing like that. Both Kate and her family are such unique, warm-hearted people. Her parents immediately accepted Dee, Natascha, and me. I admittedly had made some preparations in advance by drinking that concoction Dee has invented to hide my implants, but regardless of that I had had my doubts whether I would be accepted at first, which proved to be without reason, seeing as how Kate's family is so welcoming and hospitable. Natascha has made a new friend in Kate's younger sister as well. I am truly happy for her, yet I am also afraid her heart will get broken once we will have to continue our journey and she will have to part from her new friend again. I admit I am afraid to get my heart broken myself. The thought of having to leave this town and Kate behind hurts me in ways I can hardly comprehend. This is all so new and frightening to me. How come she is able to evoke such strong emotions inside me when we have in fact merely met? This is highly illogical! Could she truly be one of those Irish fairies that are said to bewitch people after all? I can hardly believe a mere human to be as perfect as her. I am talking nonsense! How could she be a magical creature? I do not even believe in magic.

I think it is best for me to try and sleep now. These thoughts are unbearable!

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia

Kate heaved a heavy sigh once she finally lay in her own bed, finally out of those too tight, admittedly uncomfortable clothes and in her nightgown instead. Her heart was racing at the thought of Nastya. She quickly grabbed her diary from its hiding spot, eager to share those new, overwhelming emotions with someone even if that someone was technically merely a journal.

**May 20 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

I don't know where, or how to start! First of all, this was by far my best birthday ever. Nastya really came! I still can't believe it. When she arrived earlier it was like I was having a vision. She looked more beautiful than I'd ever seen her before. I honestly didn't think that was even possible! That gorgeous golden hair of hers was tied up in a high ponytail, accentuating that regal long neck of hers and her high forehead. She truly has the looks of a goddess! Sometimes I wonder if she is the reincarnation of one of those goddesses from Greek mythology. Her personality is so sweet as well! She claimed that she had never danced before so I decided to teach her earlier, but it turned out that she didn't even need lessons since she was a true natural. Oh my God! We shared pie as well. There was merely one piece of ma's apple pie left and I really wanted her to try it. She was such a darling and asked me if I wanted to share it with her, so that's what we did. Bidding goodbye to her was so hard! I really didn't want to let go of her, let alone go back home. What is wrong with me? This is so absurd! We only met a few days ago, yet I feel like I've known her for a long time already.

Is this what my novels like to refer to as 'love at first sight'? Oh, Gods, I'm doomed if that should be the case. The theater group will surely leave again soon. How am I supposed to live without her?

I will try to sleep for now since I gotta get up early for work tomorrow.

Kate


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a nightly visitor knocks at Nastya's door, she isn't prepared for who's awaiting her, hair disheveled and freezing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, lovely people! Did you miss me? Life has been kicking me in the butt lately, but I finally managed to update this story. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind to let me know! Comments are what keeps this author motivated and going. :)

The morning after Kate's birthday, Anastasia was woken up harshly by banging at the door to her trailer. Still disoriented and groggy with it being the wee hours of the morning, the tall blonde got up, dressing into her disguise of Nikolai just to be on the safe side before opening the door, heart hammering painfully inside her chest. Her eyes went wide at the sight of the last person she would have expected to see standing before her, red hair beautifully disheveled, cheeks and nose rosy due to the cool morning air, dressed in what appeared to be a nightgown accompanied by a wool cardigan and boots. Nastya's voice sounded raw, a knot had formed in her throat at the sight to behold, tone quizzical. „Kate?“

'I am doomed! What is she doing here in the middle of the night like that? I had just managed to fall asleep and then that. She looks so pure, so hauntingly beautiful and raw. She truly must be a fairy. There is no doubt in my mind anymore.' Nastya mused to herself, thoughts interrupted by an unfamiliar shy voice. „I... didn't mean to wake you, Nastya? It's you, is it? Or would you prefer if I'd be calling you Nikolai?“ The taller girl blinked at this, confused for a moment before it hit her. 'You fool. You are still wearing those garments. What must she think of you?' In her defense, Anastasia had not in the least been prepared for a visit from Kate out of all people at approximately 4 in the morning.

The blonde quickly ushered the freezing farm girl inside her trailer, closing the door firmly, leading her to sit on her bed with her. „It is alright if you call me Nastya, Kate. I apologize for the confusion, but I had not been prepared to find you standing outside my trailer at 4 am. May I know what the reason for your visit is?“ Kate immediately felt guilty having intruded on the other girl like that, even more so when said girl emphasized the current time which indeed was far too early for such a visit. She bit her lip, cheeks having turned even redder than they'd been before. „It's just that... I couldn't seem to get myself to fall asleep. Somehow I had this strong fear that would I do so I'd wake up the next morning and you'd be gone.“

Nastya felt her heart beat faster at the other girl's unexpected confession, her words hitting a nerve, that uncomfortable knot in her throat growing in size, eyes burning. Her voice was slightly unsteady when she told the sniffling redhead, carefully taking those elegant hands into her own, afraid to hurt her would she hold on too tight. „I will not go anywhere, Kate. Not for a while anyway. My father has stated that he has plans to stay here and take some time off from our tour through England before continuing on our way through your home country. I would love to see more of your hometown. Maybe you could show me around, introduce me to some of the sights. I would like to get to know you better, Kate, learn more about you and where you are coming from. If that would be acceptable for you.“

Their eyes met, hearts beating in perfect synch, the air around them crackling. The most beautiful smile formed on Kate's face, her voice low, sending shivers down Nastya's spine though not of an unpleasant kind. „That would be very acceptable, Nastya. I'd love to show you around, take you to my favorite spots, tell you about myself, and get to know you better as well. You've no idea how happy I am that your theater group decided to stop by here and perform. It's been a dream of mine to see a play, but growing up in a small town like this one I'd so far never gotten the opportunity to do so. You're a very gifted performer, Nastya. Your performance by far captured me the most.“ The blonde felt the blood rush to her cheeks at Kate's compliment, muttering shyly. „I am honored to hear you enjoyed my performance and that you think of me as gifted in my art. That is high praise coming from you and I truly appreciate it. Thank you.“

When Kate gave a yawn which reminded Anastasia of her cat, Mikusch she'd owned back in Russia, the tall girl stated. „You should try to sleep, Kate. It is still very early, but from what your mother stated yesterday you are expected to get up very early, and from what I have heard farm work is very physically hard.“ The redhead to Nastya's shock and delight all the same pouted adorably at this and muttered. „Just tell me directly if you want to get rid of me, Nastya. There's no need for beatin' 'round the bush like that and try to be polite, ya know?“ The blonde instantly regretted her words, inwardly scolding herself. She gently shook her head. „I do not wish to 'get rid of you', Kate. I am simply concerned for your well-being and your health should you not sleep at all before a long day of hard physical labor. Also, you were already yawning just now, proving that you in fact are very tired.“

Kate felt caught at that, yet she was delighted to hear the other girl cared for her so much to actually be worried about her health. Not wanting to go back home just yet, however, let alone sleep, the resolute redhead asked the shocked blonde. „You don't happen to have coffee around here. Do ya, Nastya?“ Anastasia who had never in her life tried coffee before, repulsed by the strong scent of the beverage alone frowned at this. „I am not certain, Kate. Are you not a bit young to be drinking that kind of beverage?“ Kate chuckled at the tall girl's words, amused by the question. „I'm not a baby anymore, Nastya. The Janeways are known to be coffee lovers. It's a family thing. Could you be so kind to take a look and check if you do have coffee around? It usually helps to beat the tiredness.“

Nastya raised her left brow adorned by the as Kate thought, beautiful facial jewelry at that and nodded slowly. „As you wish. I do not think that using coffee as a substitute for sleep is healthy, but I will ignore that fact this one time since I do wish to have you keep me company for a little longer.“ Kate felt a flutter in the pit of her stomach at those words and the soft blush that graced the tall girl's gorgeous features. Her voice soft, Kate stated. „I'd love to keep you company for a little longer too, Nastya.“ The duo went over to the small kitchen area at this, Nastya opened the cupboard, presenting piles of food, spices, and so on, causing the redhead's mouth to widen in astonishment. „That's the largest amount of food I've seen in one place. Even ma doesn't keep that much in one cupboard!“

Anastasia rubbed her neck sheepishly at this, stating matter-of-factly. „I would prefer not to keep this much either, but my father seems to think otherwise. He usually gets everyone's groceries and tends to go overboard in my case, stating that I should never starve again...“ Kate's eyes widened at those last words, whispering out. „Starving? Oh my God! I am so sorry, Nastya. I had no idea that living in your home country was this hard! No one should have to starve, especially not a child, or teenager. Your father is right about that.“ The blonde immediately regretted having let that way too personal information from her past slip, towards the girl she cared for no less. Her voice sounding detached, she stated firmly. „Those days are over now. I have survived and that is all that matters in the end. You said that you wished to drink coffee earlier. I believe I might have found some. Is this the right thing?“

Kate blinked and looked up at the package Nastya was holding up, waving it around questioningly. The redhead grabbed it carefully, a grin soon forming at the words on the package that clearly stated this to be coffee powder. „That's coffee, alright! Now I'll merely have to boil some water.“ Kate was soon in her element, brewing herself her drug of choice, Nastya looking over her shoulder, watching in amazement. Soon enough the coffee was freshly brewed. Nastya had brewed herself some herbal tea instead and the two of them now sat together, each nipping at her respective drink in comfortable silence, occasionally exchanging shy glances.

Once their mugs were empty, Kate blurted out, surprising the unexpecting blonde who'd currently been lost in her own little world. „Would you like to join us for breakfast at the farm? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind. Your sister is still there too anyway and you could take her back here with you afterward.“ It took a moment until Anastasia caught on, remembering how Natascha had decided to stay at the farm with her newfound friend the other night. She nodded slowly in agreement. „That would be acceptable. I do not require much nutrition in the morning, but your mother's cooking is rather delightful. Also, I am curious to find out how Natascha is doing.“

Kate clapped her hands together at this, causing the blonde to chuckle softly and exclaimed. „It's decided then. Let's head back to the farm now. Hopefully, ma and pa haven't noticed I'm not around yet, otherwise I might get grounded again.“ Nastya raised her brow at that last statement, not familiar with the expression. „What do you mean by: 'You might get grounded again', Kate? I am afraid that I have never heard of that expression before.“ The redhead barked out a laugh at this, resulting in a stunned Nastya before saying lightly in response. „Believe me, you don't wanna know what that expression means. It's nothing honorable and I'm quite ashamed it had to happen to me out of all people, usually being known as well-mannered and all...“ This only further intrigued the blonde who deemed it best not to ask any further questions on the matter however, afraid to unnecessarily embarrass her newfound friend.

'A friend? Are you certain that this is what she is to you? Is it normal to be blushing around a friend in such an uncouth manner?' Nastya gulped, vision turning blurry for a moment at the voice in her head, a wave of nausea hit her, calling out. „Get away! You are not real! You are not here!“ To Kate the meaning of Nastya's words was unknown, seeing as she had spoken in Russian. What she was convinced of however was that the blonde was in a bad state, her body shivering, eyes wide in shock, beads of sweat had formed on her forehead. She wrapped one arm around the shaking girl, careful not to startle her, and asked hesitantly. „Nastya? What's wrong?“ It was as if a switch had been pressed, the blonde suddenly back to her regular stoic self, shaking her head softly. „It is nothing, Kate. Let us leave now. I apologize for causing a delay in our departure.“ Kate squeezed the other girl's hand which successfully calmed Nastya and told her gently. „It's fine. No need to apologize for anything. I'm just glad that you're feeling better again. Let's go.“

When the unlikely pair arrived at the Janeway farm it turned out that the rest of Kate's family was still sleeping. The two young girls soon decided to prepare breakfast for everyone. Nastya, despite Kate's initial protests declaring that she would be taking care of the cooking and that Kate should go get ready instead since the redhead was still dressed in her sleep attire and hadn't been to the bathroom yet. Kate who in the meantime noticed that Nastya was in fact still dressed in her male disguise, urged the blonde to follow her to her room and change into a new outfit. Nastya was about to protest but soon surrendered, realizing the stubborn redhead wouldn't have any of it.

Fortunately for the blonde, it turned out that Kate didn't only own dresses, but had quite a few pairs of pants and shirts as well, mainly for working on the farm. At first, she was afraid that there would be no clothes that would fit her, taking their difference in height and measurements into consideration, but to Nastya's surprise, there was one pair of pants and a shirt that seemed to fit her perfectly. Kate herself claimed that she had in fact never even seen those garments in question before, but agreed they were perfect for Nastya. 'What a weird twist of fate.', Kate mused to herself, still stunned at the unfamiliar outfit that had been hidden in her closet.

Once Kate was refreshed and dressed in her work clothes she descended the stairs, sighing in delight at the delicious smell lying in the air, coming from the kitchen. She crept inside the room cautiously, heart leaping at Nastya who stood at the stove, singing an unfamiliar tune in what Kate presumed was her native language Russian. The redhead was blown away by the tall girl's singing talent, her voice sounding like that of an angel. 'Heavens, she's incredible! Surely as a performer, it makes sense for her to be able to sing too, apart from a talent for acting, this voice is out of this world though. I could listen to her all day.' To her shock a familiar voice exclaimed. „Kate, are you hungry? I hope my cooking is sufficient. I prepared what I believe is commonly known as an 'English breakfast'. I have learned of it while we were touring through the country.“

Kate smiled and nodded. „I recognized the smell of it. Ma used to cook it for Phoebe and I every now and then when we were younger. I'm sure that your cooking is great if the smell's any indication.“ The other members of the Janeway family along with Natascha soon entered the kitchen which turned rather cramped with there being two people more this morning. Gretchen Janeway simply stated that they'd make it work, as Nastya raised a furtive eyebrow. Soon enough everyone had gathered around the table, plates filled with breakfast. Nastya turned her attention over to Natascha who sat across from her. „Did you manage to get any sleep last night, Natascha? Or were you 'chatting' all night with your new friend?“

Both Phoebe and Natascha blushed adorably at this, the latter claiming. „We did sleep, but it was rather limited. You know me too well, Nastya.“ The tall girl chuckled at this, bemused at the young girl's antics. Phoebe Janeway to both Kate and Anastasia's shock blurting out. „I'm sure Katie and you wouldn't have slept at all in our stead. Am I right, Katie?“ Gretchen Janeway who had just been taking a sip from her morning coffee spat out her drink, exclaiming. „Phoebe Janeway! What's the meaning of this? This is a family breakfast, not a tea party! I don't wish for you to talk to your older sister in that way. Am I makin' myself clear?“ Kate was stunned at her mother's words, not having expected her to react in that manner at all. Phoebe slumped down in her seat, muttering. „Crystal, ma. Sorry, Katie. I was only jokin', but I admit it was a terrible joke.“

'She knows something. I swear she does. How? I've never told anyone.' Kate felt utterly miserable, afraid her secret was threatening to be revealed, and ashamed that Nastya had to get dragged into this...


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate introduces one of her favorite spots to Nastya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story! I hope you'll all enjoy this chapter. If you do, please let me know! :)

After finishing breakfast with no further incidents, it was time for Nastya and Natascha's departure. Kate's heart felt heavy, but the two girls promised each other to meet again soon. Phoebe and Natascha were equally upset, clinging onto each other in a tight embrace for what felt like ages before Gretchen firmly announced. „Phoebe, you need to get going, or you'll be late for school!“ The youngest Janeway's eyes widened at this, completely having forgotten that today was Monday and she had to go to school. To her delight, Anastasia suggested. „Natascha and I could accompany Phoebe to school, Mrs. Janeway.“ The older woman smiled gently and to everyone's surprise, said gently. „Call me Gretchen, sweetheart, and that sounds wonderful. I'm sure Phoebe would like that.“ Phoebe enthusiastically nodded at this, a wide grin on her face. „I'd love that! Thanks for the offer, Nastya.“

The blonde's face showed the hint of a smile at this, voice the tiniest bit softer than usual. „You are welcome, Phoebe. We should depart now. I believe you still require your school bag, however.“ Phoebe blushed at the older girl's words, quickly hurrying back up the stairs to her room, grabbing her school bag then hurrying back down. „I'm all set. Let's go! Bye ma, bye pa, bye Katie!“ The other Janeways smiled and waved at the departing trio, calling out in unison. „Bye, Phoebe!“ The youngest girls giggled at this, amused at the choir Phoebe had received. Nastya merely raised her left brow at this but refrained from saying anything, content to see her little sister so happy and in the company of someone her age for once.

Her own heart ached at having to leave Kate, however, already missing the redhead. When she turned around, their eyes met one more time, Anastasia was stunned to find the shorter girl's eyes had turned grey. 'Curious. I am absolutely certain that her eyes were a perfect cerulean earlier when we sat next to each other during breakfast.', the blonde mused to herself before dismissing the thought, turning around again and starting to walk at a fast pace, wanting to catch up with the younger girls who had already walked ahead, not noticing her absence due to being lost in chit chat.

Kate felt utterly miserable once Nastya and the two young girls had departed. Despite knowing that she'd be able to see the blonde again soon, she couldn't help but already miss her. To her surprise, her father standing next to her, sensing his eldest daughter's misery told her gently. „Go after them, pumpkin. I'm sure you'll still be able to catch up if you hurry. I'll be fine handlin' the farm on my own for today.“ Kate widened her eyes at this, quickly hugging her father, smiling widely. „Thank you, pa! I'll be back for lunch!“ At this she dashed off, soon having spotted the trio that was already closeby to Phoebe's school. She slowed down her pace, soon walking casually just behind the trio, stunned when Nastya said, voice laced with irritation. „Kate. I thought you had to work?“

The redhead who by now walked alongside the taller girl felt her cheeks heat up, inwardly cursing herself and that heavily beating heart of hers. „Pa told me he wouldn't need my help on the farm today, so I decided to accompany you after all. I hope that's alright with you.“ Her tone was unsure, somehow afraid the blonde might not approve of her company. To her relief Anastasia stated at this, voice gentler than was normal for her. „I appreciate your company, Kate.“ To Kate's chagrin, her younger sister having eavesdropped on the older girls' conversation snorted at this, exclaiming. „She appreciates your company, Katie! I'm sure the same goes for my sister. Right, Katie? You appreciate Nastya's company too and very much so. Don't ya?“

The youngest Janeway instantly regretted her teasing when Kate gave her that infamous stare, making the young girl shiver. Kate's voice was stern. „Less you want me to tell ma about this, ya take what you just said back. Understood?“ Phoebe nodded and stuttered. „S-sorry for what I just said. Please don't tell ma, Katie!“ Kate sighed. „I'll let it go this one last time. Now go inside. Your classes will start in five minutes.“ At this Phoebe sprinted off, cursing out under her breath.

To Kate and Nastya's surprise, Natascha had told the two older girls to bring her back to the camp since she needed to catch up on some sleep. After Kate and Nastya had safely brought Natascha back to her trailer, the blonde remarked. „I believe you still owe me a 'tour around town', Kate.“, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Kate swallowed at this, finding herself lost in the blue depths of the taller girl's eyes for a moment before telling her lightly. „Let's go then! There's this place I'd love to show you. It's kinda what this town's famous for and it's one of my favorite spots that I think you might enjoy as well.“ Nastya nodded at this. „Lead the way, Kate. I trust you.“ Kate felt her heart leap at the blonde's words, their hands laced together they left the theater's campsite, walking in a direction Nastya hadn't been to before.

She was wondering what Kate wanted to show her. Seeing as the redhead had referred to it as one of her favorite spots, Nastya was convinced that she would enjoy it as well. She usually didn't trust strangers, but with Kate it was different. Somehow she instinctively knew that the Irish girl was no threat, unlike many individuals she'd encountered in the past. She quickly forced herself to stop thinking of the past, knowing she would risk another panic crisis, as Dee would refer to it now if she wasn't careful. The duo walked along fields with blue flowers blooming which Nastya found to be very pretty. She plucked one of them and whispered. „Kate, could you stop walking and stay still for a moment please?“ The redhead blinked in confusion, but followed Nastya's instruction, muttering. „Sure, Nastya. Is there something wrong?“

Nastya shook her head and showed the delicate flower to the redhead. „I think this flower would look good on you. May I?“ Kate felt herself blush once more, nodding softly in reassurance. „Go ahead.“ The taller girl leaned slightly down at this to get to Kate's level, gently placing the flower in the redhead's hair, a flutter starting in the pit of her abdomen at the sight of Kate with the flower. „This is perfection! The color of the flower truly highlights that of your beautiful hair, Kate. Blue and red are complimentary colors. That also explains why your eyes along with your hair look so captivating.“ Kate didn't think it was possible for her to blush even more, but hearing that compliment from Nastya proved her wrong. Her own body never ceased to amaze her.

Not being a very artsy person Kate had never once considered before that her eye and hair color were in a way a perfect match. Now hearing that statement from Nastya for once made her thankful for her genetics. Humbled Kate whispered. „Thank you, Nastya. I sincerely appreciate your compliment. I really love the combination of your hair and eye color as well. It suits you very well.“ Now it was Nastya's turn to flush. Kate delighted in the rosy hue gracing the other girl's usually porcelain cheeks. „Thank you, Kate. I am... glad you find my appearance acceptable.“ Kate couldn't help but blurt out. „Acceptable? Nastya, you are gorgeous!!!“

It had grown silent between the two girls after Kate's outburst, worrying the redhead. 'Why couldn't ya keep that mouth of yours shut, Katie? You'd said enough as it was already. No need to overdo it.' Soon enough Kate spotted the location she'd meant to show Nastya, pointing up ahead. „You see that?“ Nastya followed Kate's gaze and upon spotting the ruin, nodded. „I do.“ Kate grinned and told her. „That's Carbury Castle. We also call it Fairy Hill thanks to the small cottage closeby.“ Nastya's eyes went wide at the mention of the second name. 'Fairy Hill? Can this truly still be a mere coincidence?' The young blonde soon deemed her inner musings irrelevant and told Kate. „I am curious to find out why it is one of your favorite spots in your hometown.“

Kate gently squeezed the blonde's hand and started to run up ahead, leaving Nastya no choice but to pick up her pace as well. „You'll see once we'll be there!“

After another ten minutes, the two girls had arrived at their destination. Nastya was still wondering what it was with this place that Kate seemed to be so fascinated about it. Having grown up in a poor area, Nastya was not very fond of ruins. This ruin soon turned out to be an exception, however. Kate showed the skeptical blonde around and told her about the castle's history. The castle had been built in the 12th Century and been in use until the 1600s. Its last owners, the Colley family still had descendants living in the town these days, but said people according to Kate had no interest to restore the place, leaving it as the ruin it was, open to the public. „I wouldn't mind living up here! The view is gorgeous and I'm sure if it was to be restored it could attain back its former glory.“ Nastya nodded in agreement at this. „I concur. Yet, I am certain that it would take years to restore a castle of this size.“

Kate sighed. „I guess you're right. Also, it's too spacious for my liking. If I was to live here on my own it sure would feel overwhelming.“ Nastya to both of the girls' astonishment stated, voice soft. „I would not mind living here with you.“ Both girls blushed profusely, Kate quickly exclaiming. „Let me show you Fairy cottage next! I promise you're gonna love it.“ Nastya snapped out of her daze at this, only thanks to her enhanced physique was she able to catch up with Kate. The tall girl's eyes glazed over at the sight of the most perfect little cottage she'd ever seen.

„I see now why this is one of your favorite spots, Kate. This place is so picturesque! It appears as if it comes straight out of a story.“ Kate smiled and queried. „Are you referring to Fairy Tales? Well, there's a reason they are called that way.“ Nastya felt an odd flutter at this. 'Is everything in this country associated with fairies?' Unable to stop herself Nastya blurted out. „Are you by any chance a fairy, Kate?“ The redhead blinked rapidly at this before barking out a laugh, slapping her own knees, causing Nastya to eye her in bewilderment.

Once the redhead had calmed down she to Nastya's shock winked at her which made the poor blonde feel weak in her knees before telling her conspiratorially. „This has to stay between the two of us, but I am actually the queen of the fairies, Nastya.“ Unbeknownst to Kate the blonde being a little slow in terms of social matters and humor now deemed her suspicions about the as she deemed impossibly perfect and beautiful girl being an otherwordly being confirmed. 'I must be under her spell. This is bad. I need to consult Dee later and ask her if there is a reverse potion to rid me of my symptoms.'

Kate looked at Nastya in confusion and asked her innocently. „Is something wrong? You look pretty pale even for your standards, Nastya. Maybe it would be best if we'd get back home.“ Nastya nodded slowly and at this they descended the hill and went their way back into town. Their walk was silent, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Kate was concerned for the blonde's health while Nastya had concerns of a whole other level. 'If she is a fairy. Does that mean that the rest of her family are fairies as well? Her parents do seem rather youthful, especially considering they have a daughter who has just turned sixteen.'

Once they'd arrived back at Nastya's trailer the blonde couldn't help but ask the one question that had been bothering her. „How come you are the fairy queen and not Gretchen, Kate? As your mother and your elder would she not be more suited for the role?“ Kate blinked at this, laughing out loud, deeming the question to be a joke until she noticed the irritated look on Nastya's face. 'Oh my! She fell for that earlier?' Kate felt bad for having pulled the blonde's leg like that, her tone apologetic she told her. „Nastya, that earlier was a joke. I'm no fairy, much less their queen. I didn't think someone so rational as yourself would believe in legends and myths.“ Nastya felt her cheeks heat up, mentally facepalming. 'You fool! How could you believe for even one second that something like fairies could be real?' She felt deeply humiliated, mumbling. „I must have gotten carried away having read those legends and myths of your country before getting here. I apologize, Kate.“

Kate smiled at this, sending a flutter to Nastya's heart. „It's fine really. In all honesty, I feel honored that you think I could be a fairy. They are said to be beyond beautiful after all.“ Nastya stated matter-of-factly. „You are perfect, Kate. It seemed very possible to me that you could indeed be one of those otherworldly creatures.“ Kate cast her gaze down, trying in vain to hide her cheeks that had turned crimson. To her chagrin, Nastya told her in a tone that sounded oddly flirty. „I think that color on your cheeks adds to your charms, Kate. It is truly becoming on you.“ Kate coughed and uttered. „I... eh... Lunch...“ Nastya blinked as the redhead speeded off home at this. The blonde chuckled softly at the petite girl's antics while entering her trailer. 'Adorable.', Nastya mentally scolded herself the moment she had that thought.

Kate panted heavily when she arrived home, sweat running down the sides of her face. Gretchen and Edward Janeway looked up in surprise at their eldest daughter entering the kitchen. „Back so soon?“ Gretchen asked her oldest daughter. Kate blinked at this. „It's lunchtime, no? I didn't wanna miss out on that. Less I'm not welcome here anymore. Am I intrudin' something?“ Edward Janeway immediately chimed in. „Of course you're welcome here, pumpkin! Your mother and I just figured you might not be back for lunch.“ The redhead was confused at his statement, taking a seat in her usual chair, asking. „Why would I not be back for lunch? I wouldn't miss ma's lunch for the world! By the way, what's for lunch today? I've worked up quite an appetite.“ To the young girl's irritation, her parents exchanged a look at this before Gretchen stated. „I hope roast chicken with green peas and potatoes sounds good to you.“ Kate licked her lips at this. „That sounds perfect, ma!“

After lunch, Kate had helped her father on the farm before going up to her room. She immediately retrieved her diary from its usual hiding and got to writing a new entry.

**May 21 st, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

After being unable to sleep last night, I sneaked out once again and went to the camp. I didn't expect Nastya to open the door for me, considering it was the wee hours of the morning, but she did. I was confused at first though, seeing as how she was dressed as Nikolai. It turned out to really be Nastya in the end though. In all honesty, I'm still stunned at how she manages to pull off this act so convincingly. She truly is an outstanding performer and her acting skills are phenomenal, not even to mention her looks... But I'm drifting off. After having breakfast together where Phoebe made another suspicious remark (I swear that girl knows something she shouldn't and I don't know how), Nastya agreed to accompany Phoebe to school along with Natascha. I missed her even before she had left! Gods, those feelings of mine are clearly bordering on insanity. Pa, to my surprise, told me I should accompany them to the town center, telling me that he wouldn't need my help on the farm today. I didn't think twice and ran after them like a lovesick puppy. Then something strange happened. I swear I had not even caught up with them yet when Nastya had already noticed my presence. Sometimes I wonder if those metal pieces on her face have something to do with her hearing being this refined. Once we'd brought Natascha back to the camp, Nastya asked me about a tour around town. I then decided to introduce her to Carbury Castle and Fairy Hill. She seemed to really like the cottage which only further proved that we do in fact have quite a few things in common. Before while we were at the castle ruins I told her that I'd like to restore the place and live there, but that living there on my own would be too overwhelming. She seriously told me that she'd love to live there with me! Can you believe it? I was so stunned. I blushed at least five times today, probably more because of her. When we were walking through the fields she put a flower in my hair and complimented my looks. She thinks that I am perfection. Never in my life would I have considered myself anything but average, but when this gorgeous girl tells me that I want to believe her. The prize has to go to her declaring me a fairy however and believing me when I jokingly told her that I am their queen. You should've seen that look on her face! She looked like a baby deer! Oh, Gods, this girl will be the end of me, and how come she's turned so flirty and daring out of a sudden?

I'll try to go to sleep now.

Kate

Nastya had brewed herself her favorite herbal tea, picking up her journal and sitting on her bed, opening a pristine new page, her heart still racing and mind swirling with thoughts of a certain redhead.

**May 21 st, 1847, Carbury, Ireland**

Today already started off intense. After a long night of lying awake, my mind replaying images of the evening before, mainly dancing with Kate and the way she looked so perfect in that blue dress, let alone the carefree way she laughed when I twirled her around during our dance. I had just managed to fall asleep when a knock on my door awoke me once more. Alerted by past experiences I dressed in my disguise as Nikolai and then opened the door. I had nowhere near been prepared to come face to face with none other than the same girl causing my insomnia. Kate had never looked more beautiful like in that moment. Her hair disheveled, her nose and cheeks red from the early morning air. She brewed herself coffee while I drank tea as we sat in comfortable silence. I had never expected her to already drink coffee. Seeing her take the first sip of that vile brew actually caused her eyes to sparkle and she gave off this primal sound which did things to me I can not quite fathom. We had breakfast together with her family at the farm, Kate had borrowed me a shirt and pants that fit me perfectly. She claimed she'd never seen those garments before and that they were not hers. After breakfast, Kate showed me one of her favorite spots here in Carbury. It was the castle of this town, or what was left of it. At first, I was skeptical and repulsed by the ruins, but they did have a certain appeal to them and in a way their own beauty. Fairy cottage was a whole other league, however. This house was marvelous! It looked like it was straight out of a story. Kate referred to those as 'Fairy Tales'. I truly wonder about this country's fascination with spirit folk and magical creatures. I made a fool of myself by asking Kate if she indeed was a fairy. She told me that she in fact was their queen, which later turned out to have been humor. I still have a lot to learn in terms of humanity and the English language. I wonder if Kate thinks of me half as much as I think of her? If she also feels that strong attraction, that bond which seems to have been there from the first time we met?

I am going to try to get some rest now.

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nastya wakes up from a nightmare and decides to go out for a walk. Her subconscious leads her to a familiar place where an unexpected encounter awaits her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, lovelies! I'm finally back with this story. I hope you'll all enjoy this update! If you do, please be so kind and let me know. :)

Anastasia awoke with a start in the middle of the night. She cursed under her breath when she realized that trying to get back to sleep would be futile in her state. The previous day had been nothing short of beautiful, yet she had still had a nightmare again. 'The last two days have been too good to be true. It is impossible that Kate could ever return those feelings you harbor for her. Only a fool would deem that an option.' After splashing her face with ice-cold water and changing into her rags, preparing to leave. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep that game of hide and seek up for much longer and at one point she would have to come clean, at least to those closest to her. She didn't think telling her father would be a good idea, however. He still viewed her as his little girl and was overly skeptical towards everyone who potentially tried to harm her, or take her away from him.

It was understandable considering she was the closest thing to family he had and vice versa. Yet, Nastya was by no means a child anymore and felt eager to leave the nest and explore the world. Maybe Kate would be willing to accompany her on her journey. „She would accompany you to do what exactly? This is not the way I have raised you!“ The blonde's eyes turned wide, breathing ragged, sweat soon drenching her shirt. Her voice was shaking, telling the shadow at the other side of her trailer. „You are not real! I am not afraid of you. Those days are long gone.“ To the young woman's relief, the shadow slowly vaporized into thin air at this, making Nastya sink down on the floor, covering her face as hot tears started pouring down her cheeks.

Nastya was stunned when suddenly a familiar soft voice could be heard beside her, followed by two arms wrapping her in a tender embrace. „Seems like my intuition was right again. What's bothering you, sweetie? Did you have nightmares again? Or did you fight with Kate?“ The blonde stiffened at the last question, sniffling she answered Dee. „Yes, I did have a nightmare again and no, Kate has nothing to do with this. We spent a perfect day together and then when I had finally managed to fall asleep I wake up again shortly after because of those nightmares. It appears I am simply not supposed to be happy.“ The brunette felt her heart ache at her younger friend's words, tightening her hug she told her in her kind way. „Everyone deserves to be happy, sweetie, especially you. The fact that you had a nightmare again, albeit concerning has nothing to do with that. Please don't feel discouraged. I am glad to hear your day with Kate was perfect. The two of you are good for each other. I can feel that and she is genuine in her affections. It is plain to see.“

Nastya's eyes turned wide at this. 'Affections? Does Dee know something that I do not?' Despite the flutter in the pit of her abdomen, the blonde knew not to get her hopes up yet. After all, it was very possible that Dee had merely meant affections of a platonic kind, like in a friendship. Anastasia wiped at her eyes, retreating from the other girl's embrace, smiling softly. „Thank you for your insight and for being there for me, Dee. I always appreciate your efforts and care. Before my meltdown just now I had been about to go outside and take a walk. I would like to do that now. You are free to join me if you want.“

The brunette smiled softly and nodded. „I felt kinda restless myself tonight actually so I'd love to accept that offer. Maybe getting some fresh air is gonna help both of us sleep more easily later.“ They both got up and left the trailer at this. After walking for about twenty minutes Nastya to her surprise heard Dee ask her. „Where are you leading me, sweetie?“ The taller of the duo blinked and after taking in their surroundings was stunned to find out they were standing in front of Fairy Hill. Nastya bit her lip and muttered. „This is Fairy Hill and on top of it lays Carbury Castle. Kate introduced me to it earlier today. I do not know why, or how we ended up here.“

Dee giggled softly at this before stating. „This place must have left quite the impression on you if you memorized the path so easily, sweetie. It seems like your subconscious wants to tell you something by leading you back here.“ Nastya sighed softly and stared up at the ruin on top of the hill. „It is quite an impressive place. I especially liked the little cottage a short walk from the castle. Would you like me to show it to you, Dee?“ The brunette nodded at this, a wide grin on her face. „Sure! That sounds interesting. I'm curious about it!“ At this, the two women continued on their way up the hill.

The ruins which were illuminated by the stars and the moon looked even eerier than during the day, sending shivers down the blonde's spine. She almost regretted her decision to have come up here. That is until Dee's voice alerted her. „This place possesses such strong energy! You said the spot was called Fairy Hill?“ Nastya nodded slowly, not sure where this conversation was supposed to lead. She had never liked it when people repeated facts either. It was a human trait she deemed most irritating and pointless. Humoring her friend she simply stated. „Indeed. What do you mean by it 'possesses a strong energy', Dee? I do not think I understand.“

Dee was lost in thought however and buzzed around the place, seemingly in her element, leaving the younger woman behind frustrated. 'Bringing her here was futile. The activity she is performing there appears irrelevant. What is the point walking around old ruins like this?' Not enjoying being ignored, Anastasia snuck away and walked the short walk over towards Fairy Cottage instead. Once there she to her astonishment noticed a light coming from inside the small building. 'Curious. Who could be in there? I thought Kate had told me earlier that the place was uninhabited.'

Her heart hammering in her chest, Nastya against her better judgment decided to investigate. She silently crept inside the building, making sure to stay hidden in the shadows to stay invisible to whoever was in there. 'Is it fairies? Do they come out at night and go on about their business here?' The idea caused a prickling sensation to form on her skin. To her utter astonishment what she saw then was even more unbelievable than any magical activity could have ever been. On the bench in front of the fireplace lounged a certain redhead, book in hand, engrossed in reading, a lantern standing on the small table in front of her, illuminating those ethereal features.

Nastya was stunned, standing still, heart speeding at the sight displayed in front of her, eagerly drinking in every little detail and mentally saving this image for keepsake purposes only. Or so she tried to convince herself. 'I am already in too deep. By no means did I expect to encounter her here, much less at a time like this. She should be asleep in her bed at the farm. I wonder if she comes here often when she can not sleep?' Nastya shook her head, inwardly scolding herself for having these thoughts. Deciding to get back before Dee noticed her absence she went for the door but was halted when upon opening it a familiar voice exclaimed. „Nastya?“

The blonde felt deeply humiliated being discovered by the other girl like that. For a moment she pondered to simply ignore Kate and leave regardless, but in the end, she turned around, softly nodding her head in acknowledgment. „Kate. I did not expect to encounter you here. What are you doing here at such an hour?“ The redhead felt her face heat up and mumbled. „I had hoped you would come back here.“ Nastya's eyes turned wide at this, only thanks to her enhanced hearing she had been able to make out the words the petite girl had said. Her voice came out hesitant, her own cheeks turning pink. „You... had?“ Kate blinked, stunned the blonde had been able to understand what she had deemed to be incoherent rambling. Slowly she nodded her head, whispering a simple one-word reply. „Yes.“ Nastya quirked her left eyebrow at this. „You are lucky your assumptions turned out to be correct, Kate.“

The blonde had sat down with the redhead and together they had sat mostly in silence, both content to just be around each other. After a while, Nastya spoke up and asked the other girl. „What kind of a book were you reading earlier, by the way, Kate?“ The redhead's cheeks to her own chagrin but Nastya's delight turned crimson at this, her voice sounding raw. „It- It was just a random book from the local library. I simply brought it along to pass the time.“ The blonde's interest was peaked at this and to Kate's dismay, she asked. „Could I perhaps take a look?“

The redhead was utterly humiliated but mused she might as well let the other girl have a look. She carefully handed her the book. Nastya took one look at the book before recognition hit her. Doing her best to hide her surprise and glee. 'Can this truly be a coincidence anymore? I can not believe the local library of this town has that kind of book.' The blonde swallowed, unable to look Kate in the eyes. Kate on the other hand was confused to find Nastya not even casting as much as a glance at the book. She asked hesitantly. „Nastya? You're not even looking at the book.“

Nastya bit her lip at this and muttered. „I do not have to look at it to know it's contents. I have read this book myself before, Kate...“ The redhead's eyes bulged at that revelation, unable to hide her curiosity she asked. „Why did you read that book, Nastya?“ The blonde started to fidget at this and mumbled. „I read it because the subject interested me.“ Kate's heart was racing at those words, her hopes that her feelings might not be unrequited after all rising. Their faces slowly inched closer, the tension growing unbearable, Kate whispered. „Are you...?“ Her eyes looked in wonder, the blonde's voice had turned very low, sounding like an invitation. „There is only one way for you to find out.“

Their lips were merely a whisper apart when a familiar voice resounded from the door, effectively breaking the tension. „There you are! I'd been looking everywhere for you, sweetie.“ Nastya sighed, balling her fists in frustration, trying her best to keep her temper in check. She inwardly cursed herself for having forgotten all about her friend who had accompanied her up the hill earlier and who she had left behind by the castle Lord knows how long ago. 'Of course, she would be searching for you, dummy. Maybe it is better that she arrived now. I do not wish to corrupt, or use Kate. Nor do I want to be an experiment for her. She is most likely merely curious how it would be to be with another girl. After all, she is still so young and what could I possibly offer her?'

Her eyes downcast, Nastya got up, deeply distraught, and walked over to Dee. Kate felt a pang in her chest at the way the other girl acted. Was she ashamed of what had almost happened between them just now? Dee looked over to the redhead in worry and called out. „Kate, are you gonna go back home too? We could accompany you there. You shouldn't be out here on your own at such a time. Your parents will be worried sick if they realize you're not home. Also, you need to get some sleep. Come on.“ The redhead reluctantly got up at this and joined the other two.

Their walk back to the farm was filled with silence and not the comfortable kind. Dee, thanks to her abilities was acutely aware of the tension between the two younger girls, in part blaming herself for running into a what now in recap seemed to her very private moment. Unable to stand the deafening silence any longer, Dee exclaimed. „I'm sorry for invading your privacy like that earlier.“ Both Kate and Nastya blinked at this, their cheeks flushed. Nastya muttered. „It is alright, Dee. You could not know.“

Once they had arrived at the farm, Dee stepped away to give the two younger girls some privacy and allow them to properly bid good night to each other. Kate shyly looked up at Nastya who to both their surprise pulled the redhead close to her, engulfing her in a warm embrace. Both their hearts were racing at the physical contact. Nastya inhaled deeply and before she knew it blurted out. „You smell really good.“ Kate felt her cheeks heat up once again at this, her eyes closed she breathed in the blonde's scent as well, unconsciously licking her lips. Her voice was hoarse when she replied. „So do you.“

Nastya reluctantly loosened her grip on the smaller girl, cerulean eyes meeting ice-blue ones. „Kate, you must leave. As much as I would like to stay with you for longer, we both have to sleep and Dee is waiting for me. Let us meet again as soon as possible.“ Kate nodded softly, emotions hidden behind a mask of indifference. „You're right, Nastya. I'll come to your trailer once I'll be done with farm work tomorrow, no today.“ To Nastya's astonishment, Kate stood on her tippy toes, pecking the blonde's cheek before bolting off, leaving behind a stunned and confused Nastya. 'Where did that just come from? She truly is one of a kind, that one...'

Kate rushed up the stairs, albeit carefully avoiding the steps which she knew tended to creak. A sigh left her lips once she was back in her room, heart threatening to beat out of her chest. 'Oh my God! I can't believe I just did this. Her cheeks are so soft, I wonder if her lips are the same or if they're even softer.' She quickly undressed and fell into her bed, sleep coming surprisingly easy to her that night.

Meanwhile, Nastya who had been subject to Dee's knowing gazes for their whole walk back to the camp dreaded to go back to bed. She was convinced that after that night she would be unable to get any sleep anymore at all, or if she would she might have dreams she didn't dare imagine. One thing this night as well as the last two days she'd spent together with Kate had proven to her was that having to leave her would be the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. That night, Nastya cried herself to sleep, mourning a loss she knew she'd soon be forced to experience...


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day reveals unexpected things for both Nastya and Kate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, my lovely readers!  
> I finally got to updating this fic. I hope you're all still enjoying this story. If you do, please be so kind to let me know. I always love reading your feedback and reviews. :)

The next morning, Kate woke up feeling giddy and more refreshed than she had in a long time. She was ready to seize the day, conquer the world even, if necessary! Unbeknownst to the redhead, a wide grin was on her face. Her mother who she passed by in the hallway smiled knowingly at her eldest daughter and called out, a little louder than usual to get her daughter's attention. „Good morning, Katie! Sleep well?“ Kate snapped out of her daydream at this, greeting her mother back joyfully. „Mornin' ma! Very well in fact. How did you sleep?“ The older Janeway smiled a little brighter at this. „That's good to hear, sweetheart. I slept well, despite your old man's snorin'.“ The two giggled at this, alerting Phoebe who'd just stepped out of her room. „What's so funny? I wanna have a laugh as well.“ Gretchen and Kate shared a look at this before letting the youngest Janeway in on the joke, resulting in a snort to leave Phoebe, rolling her eyes playfully, a gesture she'd learned from her older sister. „Tell me 'bout it! I hardly slept last night cause of that. The walls in this house are far too thin!“

Kate felt grateful to have a room that was quite far off from the master bedroom. Not only did it make sneaking out at night much easier than if she had her younger sister's room, but also did she not have to endure her father's infamous snoring. As much as she loved her father, if there was one thing the young girl could not stand it was snoring. Kate preferred absolute quietness as it was what helped her fall asleep the best. The redhead for a moment there found herself wondering if Nastya was a snorer or a quiet sleeper. 'Nah, who are you trying to fool, Katie? There's no way in hell a girl like her is snoring! She totally pings me as a quiet sleeper. Only one way to find out for real.', a tiny voice said to her that sounded much like her younger sister, except that it was in her head. 'Oh hell nah! Don't tell me Phoebe got in my head already, quite literally. What a pain...' The redhead groaned out in agony, dragging herself down the stairs to the kitchen from which the delicious scent of pancakes and freshly brewed coffee greeted her, causing her to lick her lips subconsciously.

„Thinkin' of Nastya, sis?“ Kate almost jumped at the teasing voice of her little sister that this time wasn't in her head, but came from next to her. The older girl turned in the direction the voice had come from, shooting one of her infamous death stares at Phoebe who visibly flinched. Her voice icy, Kate told her. „Watch what you're sayin', lil sis. I doubt you want me to have a talk with ma about your behavior. Do you?“ Phoebe looked horrified at this, eyes watery she begged her older sister. „Please don't talk to ma, Katie! I promise to keep ma mouth shut from now on. Sorry for what I just said. It was uncouth.“ She softly added. „You like Nastya though, Katie. Don't ya? I promise I won't tell ma and pa. I know she likes you too. You two would make for a great pair in my opinion.“ Kate's eyes turned wide at her sister's words, cheeks turning pink. „Pheebs, please... Can we stop this conversation now? It makes me uncomfortable. Just why do ya think I like girls anyway? It's normal for girls to like boys after all...“

Phoebe Janeway to her older sister's surprise stated at this. „Why would it not be normal for girls to like girls, sis? I like Natascha too and I know you like Nastya and that's fine. Whoever said girls liking other girls is not normal was an idiot! I don't like boys, they're yuck and I know you think the same, Katie. I've read it in your red book...“ Kate's eyes turned even wider at this, rage turning her blood cold, voice low and menacing. „You did.. what, Phoebe Janeway? When did you read it? How much of it?“ Phoebe wished the ground would swallow her, humiliation causing her to blush hard, eyes downcast she mumbled. „I'm sorry, Katie. I was lookin' for ya one day, bout a month ago and the book was lying opened on your bed. I didn't know it was private and not meant to be read by anyone else. I only read the recent entry which said that you feel attracted to girls and were afraid ma and pa could find out and disown you which I think is bullshit. They'd never do that! They love ya, Katie. You're their precious eldest daughter, whether you like girls or boys.“

Kate felt tears swell in her eyes, forcing them down she told her sister sternly. „What did we say about cursin'?“ Phoebe bit her lip before grinning sheepishly. „Cursin' is only allowed for the adults of this house. That means you're not allowed to curse either by the way, Katie. Ya know that, right?“ Phoebe smirked triumphantly at this which caused Kate to sigh and roll her eyes. „Yeah, yeah, Pheebs. I'm aware of that. No need to rub it in ma face. On a lighter note... Thanks for accepting me the way I am. It means a lot to me and if you're interested in girls too as you told me earlier know that I'll support ya come what may and by the way, Natascha and you would make for a cute couple, Pheebs.“ Kate winked at her little sister at this who blushed adorably. „Y-ya think so, Katie? She's so pretty though and I'm well... plain and boring. What could I possibly offer her?“ Kate frowned at this, telling the younger girl sternly. „You're not plain and boring, Phoebe. Whoever told ya that was a nutjob! My lil sister is smart and cute. I accept nothing else. Now, let's go eat breakfast. Else ma and pa will hunt us down.“

Phoebe quickly scrambled into the kitchen at this, making Kate chuckle at her little sister's antics, following her at a more casual pace, without her knowledge a goofy grin had formed on her face once more. The duo greeted their parents who had already started their breakfast. Edward Janeway smiled gently at his oldest daughter. „Katie, what's gotten you into such high spirits today? Does it have anything to do with...“ He stopped mid-sentence, irritating his daughter who asked. „Does it have anything to with what, pa? Why did ya stop talkin'?“ The older man scratched his beard at this before changing the topic. „Ready to get back to work today, pumpkin?“ Kate felt even more irritated at her father's odd behavior now but decided to shrug it off, nodding. „Sure thing, pa! The fields are callin' my name.“

Phoebe exclaimed at this while standing up. „Well, school's callin' my name, so I'm gonna get goin' now. See ya'll in the afternoon. Have a great day at work everyone! Bye Katie, bye ma, bye pa!“ The other three waved at the youngest Janeway before exclaiming back in unison. „Bye Phoebe!“ The youngest Janeway snickered at this, still feeling amused at the way her family bid goodbye to her in perfect synch, despite having heard it for years now. Some things never grow old. To Phoebe's surprise, Kate appeared in the doorframe when she was about to leave. The younger girl tilted her head to the side in wonder and asked her older sister. „Did I forget something, Katie?“ Kate shook her head at this before taking the smaller girl into a bearhug, stunning Phoebe. Her voice gentle, the older told the younger sister. „I love you, Phoebe. Just thought I should tell ya that. I haven't told ya that enough in the past two years, or so and for that, I'm really sorry. Have fun in school and study hard, alright? I believe in ya, Pheebs.“ The shorter girl sniffled at this and nodded. „I promise it, Katie. I'll make ya proud. Love ya too, big sis! Always have, always will. You'll always be my hero!“

Kate felt touched at this, tears brimming in her own eyes now. She tightened her hold on the younger girl before gently letting go of her. „You gotta leave now. You don't wanna risk running late. Do you?“ Phoebe dashed off at this which made her older sister chuckle in amusement. Her laughter died in her throat at a familiar alto stating. „The tendency to 'bolt off' certainly seems to run in the family.“ Kate swallowed hard, afraid to look up, her cheeks burning. Fencing off her inner demons she finally did dare look and was greeted by nothing. 'Come again? I swear I heard Nastya's voice just now. Am I losing my mind already?' Kate looked around once more, tentatively asking. „Nastya? Are you there?“ To her dismay, she was greeted by silence, no sign of the blonde anywhere.

Kate who felt completely bewildered at what had just transpired outside, trying unsuccessfully to come up with a logical explanation for the odd occurrence but to her chagrin coming up empty-handed. The young girl was thankful when her father joined her outside soon after and the two of them went to the fields together to spent another day of hard work there while Gretchen Janeway was busy preparing lunch for the hardworking duo.

Kate found herself wondering what her mother was cooking for lunch today. Suddenly something blue in her peripheral caught her attention. Kate went over to it and was stunned to find it was a cornflower, the same kind of flower Nastya had plucked for her the other day on their way to Fairy Hill. Kate carefully plucked the delicate flower, lifting it up to her nose, inhaling its sweet scent when out of a sudden a voice made her look up. „Kate!“ The redhead looked around, her eyes scanning the whole area around, only to once again be greeted by nothing but the vast fields around and her father busy working in the distance. Kate broke out in a cold sweat at this, crying out while cradling her face. „No, no!!!“ She fell down on her knees, whispering out. „This can't be! It's impossible. Experiencing this one time is one thing, but to have the same thing happen to me twice in one day... I must really be losing it! Oh, Gods. What do I do? I can't share this with anyone, much less Nastya herself. She'll think I'm mad and belong in an asylum! I need to find an explanation for this, but before that, it may be best to stay home...“

At the same time, a certain blonde sat in her trailer, cradling a cup of coffee in her hands. She had never tried the beverage before, feeling repulsed by the mere scent of it, yet she felt the urge to do so right now. Her thoughts as per usual these days wandered off to a certain redhead, wondering what she might be doing at this moment. Taking the early hour into consideration, Anastasia was soon convinced she was most likely still busy with farm work right now. Forcing down the feeling of repulsion, Nastya took a first furtive sip of the hot beverage. She rolled the liquid around in her mouth for a while before swallowing, a soft smile forming on her lips. 'This is good! I did expect it to be undrinkable, taking the bitter scent into consideration, but it is surprisingly sweet and savory at the same time with a hint of bitterness to round up the flavor. I can relate to why Kate would enjoy this drink now. It possesses quite a pleasant aroma.' The blonde bit her lip, heat rising from her ears to her cheeks, causing her to hide her face inside her oversized wool pullover. It certainly had not been helping her situation at all to have that dream the previous night, much less the actions she performed earlier...

In the afternoon after eating lunch with the rest of her theater family, Nastya who felt restless decided to take a walk around town to try and take her mind off things. She needed time to be alone and to think. Natascha had gone to the Janeway farm to meet her new friend Phoebe there. The younger girl had asked the blonde if she wanted to accompany her there, but Nastya, to Natascha's surprise had declined, stating she had business to attend to in the town center. On her walk, Anastasia came by lots of shops and quite a few people. Thanks to Dee's potion, the young woman's face was void of her implants which to her chagrin did not stop strangers from looking in her direction. She hoped it was merely because she was not from around here and not because they were repulsed by her looks.

Before long, Nastya to her own surprise found herself standing before a relatively big building, especially for Carbury's standards which read 'Town library'. The blonde was delighted at this and decided to go inside and take a look around. 'Maybe they indeed do have that book there. Or maybe other books of that genre...' Anastasia shook her head dismissively at her own thoughts, walking into the building, head held high. She politely greeted the librarian sitting behind a counter, engrossed, as expected, in reading a book. The woman looked up briefly, smiling softly at the tall woman, whispering a 'G'day.' back at her. Nastya walked over to the fiction section of the library, browsing the shelves for interesting titles. When she rounded a corner she bumped into someone, turning her cheeks pink in humiliation, muttering quick apologies under her breath that sounded far more Russian than English.

The blonde's heart stopped for a split second upon hearing the familiar husky voice exclaiming in shock. „Nastya?“ Addressed woman looked down at a by-now blushing Kate who was covering her mouth with a hand, embarrassed about her own outburst, much less inside a library which was as everyone should know a quiet zone. Nastya found herself dumbfounded when the redhead suddenly ran off, never looking back. The blonde felt her heart ache at this, afraid Kate did not enjoy the time they'd spent together the previous night after all. She left the library as well, determined to find the younger girl and talk to her. She didn't have to search far. Kate had sat down on a bench, face hidden in her hands, worrying the blonde. Nastya walked up hesitantly, taking a seat next to the redhead who as she noticed to her surprise mumbled under her breath.

Anastasia wrapped one arm around the smaller girl, gently pulling her closer, asking. „Kate, what is the matter? Do you not wish to see me again? Are you frightened because of what has transpired between us the previous night? Are you repulsed by my presence, or by my person in general? I understand if you do not wish to see me again. It appears my assessment of the situation was... flawed. The conclusions I'd drawn based on your behavior illogical and my own emotions are irrelevant. Do not mind me. I shall go take my leave and never disturb you again...“ Kate uncovered her face at this, staring at the girl next to her wide-eyed, whispering. „Nastya, what are you talking about? You've got it all wrong! Of course, I want to still see you and I'm not repulsed by you, never! You are the most gorgeous person I've ever met in my life and the sweetest person as well. Please don't leave, Nastya! I didn't run away from you, well not exactly anyway. I ran away because I thought I was hallucinating, that you were a vision and I'd finally completely lost my mind...“

Nastya frowned at this, new hope blossoming in her chest that maybe, just maybe Kate did return her feelings after all. The words the younger girl had said, however, were deeply concerning her and she asked the redhead. „Kate, what do you mean, you thought you were hallucinating? You deemed me a 'vision' and that you had lost your sanity? What would make you reach those conclusions?“ Kate sighed heavily at this, only worrying the blonde further before answering her, cheeks turning crimson which sent heat to a place Nastya did not wish to experience such a sensation, especially not right at this moment. „This probably sounds strange now, but... earlier today I could've sworn I heard your voice. The first time it occurred I was shocked because it sounded so real, but when I looked up you were nowhere to be seen. The second time was during work while we were out in the fields. I'd just found a cornflower, the blue flower you'd plucked for me the other day and placed in my hair, and was smelling it when out of the blue, I could've sworn I heard you scream my name. It kinda sounded like you were in pain, now that I think about it...“

Kate frowned at the realization, wondering how she hadn't noticed such a crucial detail before. Nastya on the other hand was stunned. It took a while before she asked hesitantly. „May I know when you were experiencing these occurrences, Kate? Also, you stated on the field it seemed like I was screaming out your name. What did I say the first time?“ Kate pinched the bridge of her nose, a gesture she tended to do to prevent an oncoming headache from building, pondering before answering the blonde. „I believe the first time you said. 'The tendency to bolt off certainly seems to run in the family.' What's weird about this is that Phoebe had just run off the moment before I heard you say that, so I wasn't too surprised about those words, but the fact that you seemed to suddenly be around. As for the time those two events took place. Hm, let me see. The first one was shortly after Phoebe had left for school which usually starts at 8, so it must've been around 7:30 am. The second one was about an hour before lunch, so at about 11 am. Why do you wanna know that though, Nastya?“

The blonde was astonished at this. 'This can not be! At 7:30 am I said just that to Dee while we were having a conversation about Kate during breakfast and at 11 am... I certainly did cry out her name, albeit not in pain, but...' Nastya felt her own cheeks heat up, feeling caught, despite Kate technically not knowing of the actions she'd performed earlier today while she was out in the fields, innocently smelling a flower. She swallowed before stating. „I believe there is no reason for you to worry, Kate. I sometimes do experience the sensation of hearing a certain voice, despite the person said voice belongs to not being around. It is an auditory hallucination, yet I believe everyone experiences these every now and then, so you are not alone and certainly not mad!“ Kate flinched at the harsh tone in which the blonde had said the last words, nodding softly. „You're probably right, Nastya. Thank you for listening to me and reassuring me of my sanity. Would you like to do something together? I could introduce you to another sight of the town if you like.“

The duo soon agreed to do a little sightseeing to take both their minds off things, both thankful for the distraction...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Nastya have a heart to heart at an unexpected place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers and welcome back to this story. I apologize for the delay and hope you will enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind to let me know. :)

They'd left the town center and Kate had led them down a path Nastya had not yet walked until they reached a gate. A chapel stood there surrounded by a graveyard. Shivers ran down the blonde's spine at the sight and she was wondering why Kate had decided to bring her here out of all places. Her voice sounding indifferent as per usual, she asked the redhead. “What is this place?” Kate rubbed her neck sheepishly and glanced at the taller girl. “You don't like it, right? I know it can seem pretty dark and intimidating, but it's one of the main sights here in Carbury, apart from Fairy Hill and Carbury Castle. This is the main cemetery of our town and the town's people usually go to this chapel every Sunday for the holy mass. My family is not very religious unlike most of the people in this town, however, so we rarely ever go here, unless to bring flowers to my grandparents.”

Nastya was honestly relieved to hear that Kate was not religious. Having grown up mostly in the streets had resulted in the blonde not caring for religion, or believing in any God. After all, if there was one then why did so many innocent people, many of them children have to suffer so much and live in poverty and fear? This world was not just and it was ruled by the rich. Nastya had learned that from an early age on. Money makes the world go round, as an English saying went which she deemed very accurate. Nastya snapped out of her thoughts by Kate asking her. “Are you religious by the way, Nastya? From what I have heard Russians tend to be pretty religious, much like the Irish. However, you somehow don't ping me as a very religious person. Correct me if I'm wrong.” Nastya cocked her left brow, surprised by the younger girl's on-point assessment of the situation. “You are correct, Kate. I am not religious. However, people in Russia generally are rather religious. I am surprised to hear you are aware of that fact. Have you read it in a book you have lent from the town's library?”

Kate felt her cheeks flush at Nastya's question, nodding slowly. “I have read it in one of them actually, yes. Despite being a non-believer myself I've been interested in religions around the world when I was younger. Other countries and cultures have always fascinated me and my biggest wish would be to travel the world and see different places, explore and go on adventures, meet people from different countries. That kind of thing.” Nastya felt a flutter in the pit of her stomach at that revelation, an idea beginning to form in the back of her mind. 'I could offer her to accompany us on our tour through the country. She could get to see new places, meet new people and we could stay together.' The blonde bit her lip and started. “You could accompany us on our tour through Ireland, Kate. I am certain my father would be happy to allow you to join us. The family is always happy to welcome new members into its rows and I would be pleased to have you accompany us as well. It is only an offer though. If you do not approve of the idea, I understand. You should give it some thought first and talk to your parents.”

Kate, unbeknownst to Nastya had hoped the blonde would ask her that question, but not wanting to come over as needy, she told her. “I will consider your offer, Nastya. You're right, I definitely need to talk to my parents first and discuss this with them. As much as I like the idea of joining your theater group on your tour through my home country, I'd feel bad to leave my parents behind and force them to tend to the farm all by themselves. Also, I'm reluctant to leave Phoebe behind as well. She doesn't have many friends and despite our quarrels in the past, we love each other and care deeply for each other. She's my baby sister and I'm afraid to abandon her like this...” Nastya nodded in understanding, already having expected as much. 'Of course, she would not agree to your idea right away. It was foolish of you to think otherwise. She has family here, friends and responsibilities. She is not like you who was homeless, having no family, or friends when the family found you and was kind enough to take you in.'

The duo had entered the graveyard, despite Nastya's initial doubts about the place. As they walked through the rows of tombstones, the sun shone through the trees causing the silver facial jewelry above Nastya's left brow and on her cheek to glow. Kate, unable to help herself and knowing they were the sole visitors of the graveyard at this time of day, reached one hand up to trace the crescent-shaped metal piece above Nastya's left brow, gently tracing it. Nastya's breath hitched, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Kate was astonished at that unexpected reaction, Nastya's cheeks to her surprise having turned the softest hue of pink, her eyes closed, lips parted. The shorter girl licked her lips at the alluring sight, carefully caressing the shining silver piece, the metal surprisingly warm under her touch. Kate couldn't help herself and asked under her breath. “What are these? They aren't simply jewelry, are they? The fact that you are so sensitive here clearly proves that they must have a certain meaning and be attached to your nerve endings in some kind of way.”

Kate inwardly cursed her curiosity which she had been unable to keep at bay, afraid to have gone too far in asking the taller girl about what seemed to be a delicate subject to Nastya. The blonde slowly opened her eyes, the almost complete whiteness now present where before ice-blue had been shocking the redhead. Her tone sounded distant as Nastya replied. “I had expected you to ask me about them eventually, but I must admit that I had hoped the question would not arise this soon. It is something I do not enjoy talking about since the memories it evokes are very unpleasant. However, I feel like you deserve an explanation and I trust you won't tell anyone else about this or judge me for what I am about to share with you.” Kate nodded in confirmation at this, the two of them had come to sit on a bench under an old oak tree, Nastya keeping a safe distance from the younger girl, preparing for the worst.

“As I have already told you before I have lived in the streets for most of my life. I was born into a very poor family. Money was always a problem for as long as I can remember and I had to tend to the house and watch over my younger siblings while our parents were at work. When they came home, all they did was drink and sleep. They were of no help doing chores which were all left in my responsibility, as well as my younger siblings, I had nine of them. The sole things those people seemed to be good at was copulating and procreating. We also had various animals and pets that needed lots of care and attention as well, which once again mainly I had to provide them. Then one day, I was six years old, almost seven a man came to our house. Mother opened the door for him and she soon called me over. I had a bad feeling about this from the beginning and when she then told me that this man would take me to his place with him, I knew my worst assumptions had been right.

I did not wish to leave my younger siblings, or the animals behind, but I was left with no choice. Mother and father did not care if they would never get to see me again. In all honesty, I am convinced that they were glad to be rid of me, one less mouth to feed. The man possessed the biggest horse carriage I had ever seen before. It was golden and to me was a clear sign that he must have been very rich. Inside the carriage sat a woman in expensive attire. She acted very kindly and sweet in the beginning, but something about her seemed off from the start. It was her eyes, they were lacking any warmth and so was her voice. I merely realized that much later, however. Her name was Alice and she was clearly a foreigner, from which country, I do not know, but I would presume France. She was of petite stature, yet her aura was downright intimidating, if not chilling. The man who turned out to be a doctor, or so he claimed merely introduced himself to me as 'The Doctor'. He was a maniac and in my own opinion did not deserve that title, nor to be a free man. When we arrived at the huge mansion, there were six other children who were all around the same age as me. There was a medical ward in which I was forced to undress, so 'The Doctor' could examine me. He diagnosed malnutrition and dehydration but reassured me that he would be easily able to cure those symptoms and even help me rid me of the feeling of hunger, as well as the need for the ingestion of solid food altogether. He also promised to enhance my strength, intelligence, stamina, and senses.

I did not believe him at first, well how could I? But it should soon turn out that that fact did not matter since he had his ways of 'enhancing my physiology', as he liked to refer to it without my consent. I never got to talk to the other children. Two more children arrived at the facility soon after me and I had been given the designation Seven of Nine, as I was the seventh child out of nine to have arrived there. The man who I only knew by the alias of 'The Doctor' had soon grown fond of me if you will, and as his 'priced pupil' I was granted lots of more freedom and was able to access the rest of the building. One day, when the other children were getting their weekly exams and Alice was out of town, I seized the opportunity to flee. I ran as fast and far as I could which thanks to my enhanced stamina and strength must have been quite far. On my way, I came by a baby which lay on the doorsteps of a church. I simply could not leave this innocent child behind, so I grabbed it and took it with me on my journey. For the next few years, I lived in the streets, disguised as a boy since I learned quickly that finding work was much easier if you were male than female. Because of my looks, the implants, and the rags, I was wearing I did not manage to find many jobs, but I somehow got Natascha and me through.

We soon moved to the underground where it was far easier to find odd jobs to work even as a young homeless kid. Natascha was very far for her age, always surprising me. I mostly left her with other people while I went to work during the day. Then one day even working odd jobs had become increasingly tough, but a woman approached me one day, seducing me. I was inexperienced, at first not having a single clue as to what she even wanted from me, but she guided me through the whole thing and later asked me if I had ever considered doing this for money. According to her, women would be willing to pay a fortune to get to sleep with me and in the end, I agreed. Those were by far the toughest times and I was deeply ashamed, humiliated after every single time, hardly able to look Natascha in the eyes anymore who had turned into something like a little sister to me, who I was very fond of and protective of. Then one day, another young woman approached me. I immediately liked her and knew I could trust her, which was a new experience for me.

She spoke in an accent, which I at first could not place, but she soon told me that she was originally from Greece. During my years spent at 'The Doctor's' facility, I had read a lot of books and come across this country in one of them. The dark-haired woman who later introduced herself to me as Dee, stating that her original Greek name was too hard to pronounce for foreigners, told me about Pjotr and the Voyager theater group. After I had broken down and confessed to her the sins I had committed, selling my body for money to women, she wasted no time bringing Natascha and me to safety. Pjotr immediately accepted us as his own and inofficially adopted both Natascha and me. We then toured Russia and other European countries, until we eventually came to your hometown.”

Nastya had averted her gaze in shame, tears brimming in her eyes. “I... understand if you do not wish to associate with the likes of me any longer, Kate. I am scum who does not deserve to be given as much as a second, no not even a first glance by a girl as innocent and pure as yourself, not even to mention beautiful.” Tears streamed down Kate's eyes, her heart aching at all the hardships the other girl she'd grown so fond of over the time they'd spent together. She hugged the blonde tightly, to Nastya's shock, her voice hoarse and thick with tears. “You are not scum, Nastya! I won't tolerate you downgrading yourself like that. You're the most gorgeous, intelligent, fierce, courageous, extraordinary girl I've ever met in my life! I love you, Nastya, and what happened to you is a crying shame. I wish I could erase those scars on your heart and all those horrible memories, the trauma, the hardships you were forced to go through in your life and make you see what I see in you. I am never ever gonna turn my back on you, or abandon you as those people did. They do not deserve the title of parents. The way they treated you and your siblings make them sound like monsters. I hope they'll rot in hell! They are scum, Nastya, and that Doctor and Alice as well. You, on the other hand, are anything but that.”

Nastya's eyes were wide, tears now running down her own cheeks as well and she let them. Her voice was cracking as she muttered. “Y-you l-love me? How?” Kate chuckled softly, a huge grin on her face, her hands gently wiping away the blonde's tears. “Oh, I dunno. It's not all day a foreign beauty that might as well be a deity comes 'round this town and agrees to spend her spare time with me out of all people. I fell for you the moment I saw your performance that night. It might sound sappy, but it was love at first sight.” Nastya felt her heart leap at the redhead's unexpected confession, her cheeks heating up, she muttered. “Same here. From the moment you came to my trailer that day I was entranced by you. No, that is incorrect. Actually, I believe that in a strange way I already was from the day of my performance as well. The whole time during it, I had felt like someone was watching me intently, not that usual feeling of the crowd gazing, but a specific person staring at me, almost burning holes into my skin.” Kate whined out embarrassingly at this. “Nastya that is... Gods, that's so embarrassing, but I couldn't stop staring, you captivated me with your charms.” Nastya chuckled at this, smirking at the younger girl. “So I see, Kate.”

The duo soon decided to head back to the Janeway farm, hearts beating wildly in anticipation for something neither was truly aware of what it might be. Kate for her part was more determined than ever to accompany the Voyager theater group and mainly Nastya on their tour around the country. The only problem she saw in this was convincing her parents.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate finally has that talk with her parents and two unexpected guests show up at the Janeway farm. One might be more welcome than the other...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, everyone! It's been a while. I hope you are going to enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind to let me know. :)

After their very emotional talk on the graveyard, Kate and Nastya arrived back on the Janeway farm with heavily beating hearts, minds running a mile an hour. The girls practically dashed up the stairs to Kate's room, the redhead closing the door behind them, locking it, causing the blonde to blink. “Kate? Why would you lock your door?” The younger girl's cheeks turned crimson, shrugging. “I... I just figured we may need some privacy. Don't want people randomly barging in here and all...” Nastya nodded, standing uncertainly in the middle of the rather small room. Kate sat on her bed, motioning the taller girl to sit down next to her to which Nastya obliged. Their gazes were downcast, both afraid to look into the other's eyes. Their hands had soon found each other, seeming to have a life of their own, fingers speaking a language of their own. After a while, Nastya spoke up. “I had been convinced you would wish to talk to your parents right after we had come back here, Kate.” The redhead gasped, only now remembering the main reason she had wanted to go back home so desperately in the first place. 'You fool! How could you have forgotten?'

Kate nodded slowly, biting her lip. “I'm sorry, I honestly kinda forgot all about that. My body seemed to have a mind of its own...” Nastya quirked her eyebrow at this, tone an octave lower than usual. “Indeed. You practically dragged me up the stairs and you brought me directly to your bed as well...” Kate's cheeks turned crimson at this, utterly humiliated at the older girl's words. “N-Nastya, that's... I did not do that intentionally...” The blonde pecked the younger girl's cheeks softly. “You are seriously so precious, Kate. Forget what I just said please. It was a bad habit, a relict of my worst times...” Kate smiled softly, wrapping her arms around the elegant neck of the taller girl. “It's quite alright, Nastya. I understand. There's no need for you to apologize. I'll go down and try to talk to ma and pa right away.” Nastya nodded slowly at this. “That is acceptable, Kate. I best wait here for you then-” To her surprise, the redhead shook her head. “I'd like you to accompany me, Nastya. This matter regards you as well after all.” The blonde agreed hesitantly, still not fully convinced that her being present for such an as she deemed a rather personal talk with the younger girl's parents.

As the duo descended the stairs, they were greeted by excited calls. “Kate, Nastya!” The two girls shared a look at this before directing their attention to the two younger girls awaiting them at the bottom of the staircase. Both their features brightened at the sight of their siblings, each greeting their respective little sister. Phoebe grinned widely, babbling about her day at school, Kate having a hard time to catch up with the young girl's incessant rambling. Meanwhile, Natascha and Nastya's greeting was far calmer but no less tender. Natascha happily nuzzled the taller girl who had crouched down to her level, gently running her hands through the soft strawberry blonde hair of the younger girl who was the closest thing to family she'd ever known. Nastya asked her younger sister gently. “Have you been well, milaya?” Natascha grinned widely. “Very well, Nastya. Phoebe and I have been doing lots of fun things together and Dee has taught us a trick earlier.” Nastya looked at the younger girl with genuine interest. “She has? I would love to see that trick later. Could you show it to me once we will be back at the camp?” Natascha nodded happily. “I'll do that, Nastya! How are you doing though?” The blonde swallowed, feeling caught at the younger girl's question, answering her honestly. “I have been in a ditch, but I am well now. Kate is aware of our past now and she was nothing but accepting.”

The four girls went to the kitchen together where Edward and Gretchen Janeway were already awaiting them with dinner. Their faces brightened at the sight of all four girls entering together, Gretchen quickly placing two extra chairs so everyone could be seated. Phoebe squealed as Nastya held out Kate's chair for her, which caused the redhead to flush in humiliation. Gretchen nudged her husband, the couple sharing knowing glances, Gretchen muttering. “I told ya, Eddie.” The kind man simply nodded, a smile on his face. “Whatever makes 'em happy, Greta.” His wife grinned. “My sayin', Ed. I dunno whatcha getting at.” Nastya, thanks to her enhanced hearing was able to hear their whole conversation, feeling her heart melt at the as she deemed adorable display of the older couple. 'That could be us one of these days...' She shushed the thought away, afraid that ever nagging voice of her mother would come back to her if she got too carried away, or that reality would hit her too hard if she continued to live in what she deemed to be a dream world in which Kate and she could live happily ever after. 'Society does not approve of this. I am pleased to know Kate's family is different, but they are exceptions, I am afraid, just like Dee...'

Right when Nastya had finished that thought, a familiar voice could be heard. “Pardon the intrusion! I'd been hoping I would find you here.” Nastya turned over towards the door in which none other than Dee stood, smiling at her in that blindingly bright fashion, pearly whites on display. 'Speak of the devil...', the blonde inwardly scolded herself, not daring to finish that proverb in her mind. Dee was by no means the devil, if anything she was probably an angel. However, she had an awful habit of showing up at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Nastya got up from her seat, walking over to her friend, pulling her to the side. “Dee, as much as I am happy to see you, now is not a good time. Kate is currently having a very important discussion with her parents for which she wished for me to be present as well.” The brunette nodded at this, mentally facepalming for her terrible timing. “Of course, sweetie. I sincerely apologize. It was by no means my intention to disturb or intrude on anything. Much like that time at the cottage when I barged in on Kate and you...” The last phrase was merely muttered, but Nastya, curse her refined hearing, was able to hear it regardless, blushing softly at the memory of that night.

Dee was about to coo out at the rare display of Nastya's shyness when Kate's voice stopped her from doing so. “Nastya, is everything alright?” The blonde nodded, walking over to the smaller girl. “Do not worry, Kate. Dee and I were merely having a talk. I am going to accompany you back inside now.” To her surprise, Kate stated. “Great. Dee can actually come in as well if she wants. We'll be eating dinner now.” Nastya blinked at this. “But what happened to the discussion you were having with your parents?” Kate grinned widely. “That went very well. I have their approval. Oh, and Phoebe may accompany us for a while. She has aspirations to become an artist anyway and you know how close Natascha and she are. Ma and pa simply couldn't say no to those combined puppy eyes.” Nastya chuckled at this, relating all too well to this, never being able to deny Natascha anything when she gave her that adorable look of hers. Dee bounced in excitedly. “Kate, you are going to accompany the Voyager theater?” The redhead nodded. “If Nastya's father will agree then I am, yes.” The brunette grinned. “Oh, don't worry about him. Pjotr so far has never rejected a new potential addition to the family. Also, I can imagine you possessing quite some talent in the show business. You may even turn into our new star.”

After dinner was finished everyone gathered outside on the front porch, enjoying the warm spring air when out of the blue Kate got distracted by a sound. “Psst.” She blinked and looked around before seeing a shadow in the back which sent chills down her spine. The young girl, against her better judgment, crept over there, afraid of what may be awaiting her. Once they were standing in the dim light of the street lantern, Kate's eyes turned wide. “Aunt Beverly!” The older woman grinned and wrapped the young girl into a warm embrace. “I'm glad you still recognize me, Katie. Looks like I haven't aged as much as I feared since the last time we met.” Kate chuckled at this, nudging the taller girl. “Stop acting like you're ancient, Bev! What are you doing here though and what's with the sneakiness?” The taller woman waved her hand dismissively. “Hear ye, hear ye. The youth has spoken! I just came by to see how ya'll are doing, especially my girls. It was supposed to be a surprise, that's why I'm being a little sneaky today.” Kate nodded in understanding at this, practically dragging her aunt over to the others. “Enough with the sneakiness. I'm sure ma will be elated to see her baby sis again after all this time! You're always welcome here.” The older woman nodded slowly, holding back the remark that had been on the tip of her tongue, not wanting to ruin the mood, or hurt her favorite niece's feelings...


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Nastya learn about an unexpected family secret and Nastya gets to spend the night over at the Janeway farm in Kate's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers! Welcome back to this story. I hope you are all still enjoying it. If you do, please be so kind and let me know. I always love to read your opinions and feedback in the comments. :)

Nastya had been confused when Kate had suddenly gotten up and disappeared. She heard the younger girl's footfall along with an unfamiliar set of footfall approaching which caused her to turn in the direction it came from. Kate beamed, a taller woman with curly ginger hair stood next to her who seemed highly uncomfortable. “Everyone, it looks like we have another guest. For those of you who don't know yet, this is Beverly, Phoebe, and my aunt, ma's younger sister. She decided to pay us a surprise visit. Isn't that great?” Nastya was relieved to hear the admittedly very attractive older woman was a relative of Kate's and not competition. Gretchen Janeway, to everyone, but Beverly's surprise gave a huff before exclaiming. “I didn't invite her over here...” Nastya was stunned, never once having seen Kate's mother so obviously displeased, the older woman had been nothing but kind and welcoming to Natascha, Dee, and herself so far and to think that the woman standing next to Kate was her own younger sister, made the matter all the more confusing to Nastya. 'People are strange. Family truly is a foreign concept to me still as well it appears. Just when I had been convinced I had finally found the perfect family, I am proven wrong.'

Kate was very confused and irritated as well, asking her mother incredulously. “Ma, what's with the hostility? This is your beloved lil baby sister we're talking about here who you haven't met in a long time. Why aren't ya happy to see her?” Beverly sighed and told her oldest niece apologetically. “I should've warned you about this earlier, Katie. Your mom and I had a little bit of a fall out back then when we last met. We haven't talked at all ever since then. I made a big mistake and your mother has good reasons to be mad at me. It was wrong to come back here. I didn't mean to intrude on your private life like this, Gretchen. Sorry for ruining the mood, once again...” Kate was stunned at her aunt's words and atypical behavior. The young girl was convinced that no matter the severity of the mistake she might've made in the past, the past was in the past. It was highly irrational of her mother to hold a grudge against her own sister like this. Kate previously had known her mother and aunt as nothing but loving and caring towards each other. She exclaimed sternly. “I don't care what has happened between the two of you, but I believe that the past is in the past. Ma, you taught me so yourself. You're usually not one to hold grudges against anyone, much less for years. We're all family. I love both of you a lot and care for you a great deal. Can't you stop this stupid fight and reconcile? What could possibly be so bad that ma would act like this anyway? Care to explain this to me?”

Beverly felt the blood rush to her cheeks in humiliation, hoping against hope the ground beneath her feet may swallow her. Gretchen to her surprise wasn't blushing as she would've expected and instead said accompanied by a sigh. “She broke my trust and if I can't have one thing it's liars and betrayal, especially when one could just talk about it instead. I'm your damned big sister, Bev! Do you seriously think so lowly of me to go snoopin' behind my back, meetin' some girl in secret and thinkin' I wouldn't find out about it? Well, I did, and hell was it unpleasant for all parties involved.” All eyes on the table turned wide, Edward Janeway quickly ushering Phoebe and Natascha inside, his gut feeling telling him this was about to be a conversation the young girls shouldn't have to hear. Phoebe kept whining along the whole way up to her bedroom, trying desperately to persuade her father to be allowed to stay, but Edward didn't budge, not wishing for the young girls to hear what he deemed could very well be an adult conversation. For a moment he had considered taking his older daughter inside as well, knowing she was still very innocent for her age, but in the end, he deemed her old enough to decide for herself if she wanted to listen to this conversation, or not.

Once the children along with the sole man of the house were gone, Kate, unable to mask her curiosity any longer asked her aunt. “Aunt Beverly, are you attracted to women?” The older woman sighed, having dreaded this question, especially from her oldest, favorite niece with who she had a strong bond, nodding slowly. “I'm a lesbian, yes. Sorry, Katie. I really wish you could've learned of this in another way...” Gretchen snorted at this. “Oh, so ya wish Katie could've learned of it in another way, but you're perfectly fine with your older sister catching you redhanded?” Nastya felt her cheeks heat up at those words, being pretty sure she knew what the older woman was getting at and having a hard time to imagine Gretchen Janeway out of all people running into her younger sister being intimate with another girl. At this moment she was all the more glad to have successfully stopped herself earlier in Kate's bedroom. Lord knows how Gretchen would've reacted to running into her eldest daughter in the throes of pleasure with none other than herself. Meanwhile, Dee was blushing hard as well, transfixed by Beverly who she admittedly found to be very attractive, yet also intimidating. Beverly sighed. “Gretchen, it's not like this at all. I'm sorry, truly I am that you had to find out like this, but I was so scared and confused, knowing what the general public thinks of people like me. I never meant to lie to you or betray you, but I saw no other choice than to meet my lover in secret, to keep the family honor intact. You know how mother and father are.”

Kate was listening intently now. Her mother's family, especially her parents always had been a touchy topic for the older woman for reasons, Kate couldn't seem to comprehend. The Janeway sisters had grown up with no grandparents, Edward Janeway's parents having died before they had been born and Gretchen's parents being shrouded in mystery. Having heard her aunt's statement just now, Kate more than ever found herself wondering about those people. If they were as her aunt claimed disapproving of people like herself and Nastya, then Kate, in all honesty, didn't have any interest in ever meeting them in person, knowing they'd probably hate the guts of her for her orientation only, something she could not and did not want to change, yet was very much frowned upon by the general public as Beverly had stated correctly just now. Gretchen sighed, her eyes had dulled. “Oh, Bev! Did you seriously think I'd hate my own little sister for loving another woman? Or that I'd tell our parents about this? You could've confided in me and I would've been nothing but understanding. The general public may still be very close-minded in terms of that, but I'm an open-minded person, Bev and I'm your big sis who loves you and cares for you very much. I'm sorry for not having been there for you when you needed me the most and making you feel unwelcome here. I missed ya, sweetie. Can you forgive this hard-headed big sister of yours?”

Nastya gently wrapped her arms around Kate who had started to sniffle, so touched was she by the emotional display of the two older women who meant so much to her. Dee wiped at her eyes as well, having a hard time keeping her emotions in check, reminding herself to perform an extra intensive self-care program for herself later to not end up an emotional wreck. Gretchen and Beverly shared a long hug, the younger woman saying gently, tears running down her own cheeks. “I was never mad at you in the first place, sis, so there's nothing to forgive. I'm just so glad you accept me and love me the way I am. Those last few years have been tough, but I managed and they made me stronger. I finally found the courage to move out from home and do my own thing, lead my own life although it's been pretty lonely...” Nastya at this moment could relate all too well to the other woman who she deemed to be around Dee's age. An odd thought occurred to her. 'Dee is lonely and attracted to women, so is Beverly. What are you thinking there? They are two adults and should know best what they want. You are a fool for wanting to play cupid.' Meanwhile, Dee was having similar thoughts but dared not voice them, not even look at this gorgeous woman who she deemed to be way out of her league.

Nastya felt her heart flutter as Kate yawned next to her, once more reminding her of the cat she used to have back in Russia. 'She is much like a precious little kitten, this girl. It is no surprise I am this attracted to her. I have always been very fond of cats.' Nastya mentally scolded herself right after having this thought, deciding at that moment that she'd never ever let that kind of information slip in front of the younger girl, not wishing to humiliate her by comparing her to an animal, albeit a very elegant, graceful, precious animal and a great hunter. That last thought caused Nastya to blush and inwardly curse herself even more. She stated sternly, doing her best to mask the turmoil of emotions inside her. “You are tired. I shall bring you to bed.” Kate blushed at that which caused heat to pool in the blonde's nethers. 'You need to maintain your composure around her. Kate is innocent and pure. Your dirty thoughts and lusting after her would only taint her. It is best to keep a healthy distance to her to avoid anything from happening which we might later regret.', Nastya told herself grimly as she got up from her chair, Kate tagging along, the two girls quickly bidding goodnight to Gretchen, Dee, and Beverly before ascending the stairs to the redhead's room.

Kate felt a sense of Deja-Vu hit her, the memory of her practically dragging Nastya up the stairs earlier causing her to blush once again. The young girl, admittedly found herself wondering what could have happened earlier had Nastya not reminded her to talk to her parents. Kate was very inexperienced, especially for her age, yet she had read quite a few novels that featured two females as lovers and therefore was not as innocent and pure as the blonde seemed to think she was. Knowing Nastya had been with many women before and was therefore very experienced herself, still evoked a certain panic inside Kate. She was afraid Nastya would quickly grow bored and tired of her, or maybe she was simply a tick on her list, an adventure. No, she berated herself. Nastya had confessed her love to her earlier at the graveyard. Also, those past encounters she'd had with those women had been born out of necessity, not love, or even lust, at least not for Nastya. It had been a job to earn money with for her, not a means of enjoyment. Kate once more found herself disgusted at those rich women for forcing themselves onto the blonde who at the time must've very much been underaged still. Adults were supposed to protect and watch over children, not use them in such a way and act like they were mere tools.

“Kate, are you alright?” The redhead blinked, her cheeks heating up when her eyes stared directly into the worried pale orbs of the taller girl. Her voice sounded awfully hoarse when she answered her. “I'm... fine, Nastya. Sorry for spacing out just now. It's kind of a bad habit of mine. I'm a little bit of a daydreamer, ya know.” Nastya nodded slowly, filing this new word she deemed fascinating and very endearing into her cortical node. “I am relieved to hear you are well, Kate. There is no need for you to apologize. You are tired, so it comes as no surprise that you would lose focus. Seeing as we have arrived at your room now and it is rather late, I shall best take my leave. I am certain Dee is already waiting for me to accompany her back to the camp. I have had a most pleasant time with you today, Kate, but I still feel guilty for having shared my past with you. I hope you will not be plagued by nightmares because of this...” Kate, unable to help herself, stood on her tippy toes, wrapping her arms around the taller girl's neck, her lips pressing firmly against the plush lips of the blonde. Nastya's eyes widened for a moment before closing, their lips moving in perfect sync against each other, the older girl memorizing every inch of the redhead's exquisite lips, never wanting to forget how they felt so perfect against her own.

Nastya felt a painful tight sensation in her throat when they parted, not wanting to leave, but knowing she couldn't stay either. Her composure was already merely hanging by a thread anymore as it was and she did by no means wish to ruin this blossoming romance by rushing things, forcing herself onto Kate even. Tears were stinging in her eyes as she rushed down the stairs, Kate watching her, heart hurting, wishing the other girl could've stayed with her, but knowing such a wish was selfish and her parents would probably not have liked them sleeping in the same bed either. When Nastya entered the front porch of the farm she was stunned to merely find Gretchen sitting there anymore. The older woman looked at her gently, patting the seat next to her. “Sit with me for a moment, dearie.” Nastya was reluctant, asking hesitantly. “Dee?” Gretchen waved her hand dismissively. “Your friend's sitting in the kitchen with my sister. I doubt she'll wanna leave here anymore tonight...” Nastya's eyes widened at the older woman's blunt statement, her cheeks turning pink, a sight that warmed Gretchen Janeway's heart and caused her to apologize to the younger woman. “I'm sorry. That came over the wrong way. What I meant was that once my sister gets to talkin' she won't stop so easily. When we still lived at home together we often sat til sunrise and talked. Knowing your friend those two will sit there for about as long as that I assume...”

Nastya chuckled at this, winking at the older woman conspiratorially. “Knowing Dee they might still be sitting there when breakfast is being served tomorrow morning.” This caused Gretchen to bark out a laugh, something which Nastya noticed to her astonishment reminded her much of Kate. 'Genetics indeed is a fascinating subject. Kate truly has lucked out in terms of that, having inherited only the best traits of each of her parents.' The blonde snapped out of her reverie by the older woman's voice. “What's on your mind, dearie? I honestly thought you'd be staying with Katie. Did something happen between the two of you? Did she kick ya out of her room?” Nastya shook her head quickly. “No, it was nothing like that. I did wish to stay, but I was convinced Dee was waiting for me to accompany her back to the camp.” Gretchen nodded at this. “Ah, I see. Well, your friend's gonna stay here, so why don't ya stay here for the night as well? You're always welcome here. I'm sure Katie will allow you to stay in her room with her tonight.” The older woman's eyes had seemed to have taken on a mischievous glint, but Nastya tried to blame it on the moonlight. She got up from the bench and walked back towards the front door. “Good night, Gretchen and thank you.” The older woman smiled softly. “Good night, dearie. No need to thank me for anything.”

Kate had been about to write a new diary entry when a knock on her door caused her to panic and quickly put the red journal back in its hiding before calling out. “Come in!” Her eyes turned wide at the sight of the person she would've least expected to see standing in her doorframe, fiddling with her hands. “It appears I might get to stay here overnight after all. Dee is busy talking to your aunt and your mother allowed me to stay here. Would it be acceptable for me to stay in your room with you, Kate?” The redhead felt her pulse skyrocket at the question, the aspect of getting to share her bed with the blonde tonight causing her skin to prickle. She patted her bed, smiling shyly. “Of course that's acceptable, Nastya. Come over here and join me.” Suddenly the redhead remembered something, her cheeks heating up at an image of what she until this day was convinced, had been a stark naked Nastya in her bed in her trailer that morning. She whispered. “Do you... usually, sleep... naked?” Nastya's own cheeks turned bright red at the unexpected question from the younger girl. She swallowed and bit her bottom lip. “I do... However, I do not wish to cause you discomfort, Kate, so I am going to sleep in my undergarments if that is agreeable to you.” Kate instantly felt bad at this. She didn't want to force the other girl to act unnaturally just to please Kate. The redhead gasped when she suddenly remembered something that seemed to be the perfect solution. “Wait a minute, Nastya. I might have something here that could help fix this problem. I don't want you to sleep in your undergarments which I'm sure are rather stuffy and uncomfortable.”

Nastya blinked as Kate walked over to her closet at this, rummaging through it for a moment before eventually coming back, waving a long white dress that was made out of thin material in the air triumphantly. The blonde asked the younger girl curiously. “What is this, Kate?” The redhead grinned widely. “That's a nightgown, Nastya. It's made out of a very soft thin material. I usually wear it in summer when it's unbearably hot outside, but it might be a good alternative for you to wear instead of your undergarments, or sleeping in the nude...” Kate's cheeks turned pink once again at those last words which almost caused Nastya to groan. 'You must stay focused. Do not lose your composure around her.' The blonde quickly tried on the nightgown, fascinated at the softness and lightness of the material which almost made it feel like she was wearing nothing at all. “This... is perfection. Thank you for allowing me to wear this 'nightgown' of yours, Kate.” The redhead had a hard time not to drool at the sight of the other girl dressed in the nightgown which hugged her curves perfectly, leaving very little to the imagination. 'Gods, how am I supposed to get any sleep tonight with this goddess lying right there next to me? This is torture...' Kate wanted to weep then and there but smiled softly. “You're very welcome, Nastya. It suits you far better than me anyway like it was made for you. If you want you can keep it.” The blonde blinked and shook her head. “No, I will not keep this garment, Kate. It is yours and I am certain that it suits you very well too. Let us rest now. It is late.”

Kate bit her lip and laid down, heart thrumming in her chest, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Nastya, due to the blonde's heightened senses. Nastya felt uncertain as to how to act for a moment, laying down rigidly, her own heart beating painfully hard in her chest. A smile tugged on her lips when the younger girl scooted closer to her. The taller girl wrapped one arm around Kate, who nuzzled into her chest, a fact that sent the heat to Nastya's face and to her chagrin also to a place down south. 'How am I to compose myself, or 'sleep' with this most precious kitten being awfully snuggly tonight?' The blonde sighed softly. 'If only I had thought to bring my journal with me...'


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Kate and Nastya wake up in the middle of the night because of the full moon and have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! Welcome back to this story. It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm glad to finally have gotten around to updating this fic, which means a lot to me personally. I hope you are still enjoying reading it. If you do, I'd be delighted if you'd be so kind as to let me know. :)

When Kate woke up it was the middle of the night. Nastya had fallen asleep, her long blonde hair sprawled out lusciously over the pillow, chest heaving softly, her breathing even. The redhead tried to get up, but her limbs were thoroughly entangled with the taller girl's, so much so that getting up was a thing of the impossible. She sighed softly, fishing for her diary and pen, deciding to try to write while staying in bed. She wasn't sure if her attempt would be successful, but Kate was eager to write about the day and sharing her emotions that seemed to be all over the place with someone, even if that someone for once was her diary. At least, she mused to herself was her diary unable to spill her secrets to anyone behind her back. Once Kate had managed to get into a more or less comfortable position, she started to write...

**May 23 rd, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

It's been a while since I last talked to you, hasn't it? I apologize for the delay, but a lot has happened ever since my birthday and it was mainly good, great things even. Nastya and my bond has grown ever-closer and we've spent lots of time together these past few days, both with others and alone. Earlier today she has opened up to me about her past. I know that this must've been very hard for her and the fact that she trusts me enough to share these very personal matters with me makes me feel very special. I was so touched by that fact and her heartfelt story that I confessed my feelings for her and you know what? She feels the same way! I was so afraid, almost convinced that she'd reject me, but here we are both lying in my bed together for the first time and somehow... it feels so right. After her confession, Nastya asked me whether I wanted to accompany her and the Voyager theater on their tour through Ireland. At first, I told her that I still needed time to consider her offer, so as not to come over as needy, but earlier I asked ma and pa for their approval and they agreed right away! Looks like my worries that they'd scold me for not wanting to help out at the farm anymore and leaving them to tend to it on their own were, fortunately, unfounded. Gods, I'm so excited to go on that journey together with Nastya and the rest of the theater, her family as she refers to them. I have still not met her if you will adoptive father yet, but Dee told me earlier that he'd definitely approve of me, so that's a small relief. Phoebe even managed to convince ma and pa to join us as well, desperate to spend more time with her new best friend Natascha which I, admittedly, find downright adorable. Those two seem to clearly have found each other. I only wish I could help Nastya overcome her fears and deal with that painful trauma of hers, but I am no expert on these matters and am afraid that my trying to help her out might result in her distancing herself from me, rather than us getting closer. This truly is a very tough situation, but I know that we will manage to cope with it eventually. At the end of the day, all that matters is that we love each other and have each other's back, come what may.

Kate

Kate quickly hid the red journal and pen in its hiding again when groans accompanied by words in what she deemed Russian came from next to her. The redhead bit her lip, drinking in the sight of the older girl slowly waking up, her eyes fluttering open, the intensity of the blue of Nastya's irises shocking Kate, her breath hitching. Nastya's voice was even deeper than usual, still thick and oddly sensual from sleep. “Kate, you are awake.”

The redhead felt caught, her cheeks turning pink which was invisible thanks to the dim lighting in the room, a fact Kate was very thankful for in this moment. She swallowed before answering the blonde. “I tend to wake up sometimes for no reason. The moonlight's pretty bright tonight. It must've disturbed my sleep cycle.”

Nastya cast a glance over to the bedroom window, stating firmly. “It is a full moon tonight. You are correct, in that the moon can interrupt and influence your sleep cycle, Kate. Its light indeed is very intense tonight, although, technically, it is the sun's light which reflects off the moon.”

Kate nodded at this, having read about this in one of the books she'd lent a while ago from the local library. “I know. Still, I have always had a certain fondness for the moon and the stars. The galaxy must be a truly fascinating place with all its different planets. I wonder if humans are going to explore those planets or take a journey to the moon one of these days. By that time I will be long gone, but I sincerely hope that future generations will be luckier in terms of that and get to take a trek to the stars.”

Nastya nodded, immensely fascinated not only by Kate's words but also by her beauty that was illuminated by the soft silver glow from the moonlight. She gently caressed the smaller girl's soft cheek, telling her sincerely. “If it is at all possible to achieve traveling to the galaxy in our time, I am going to take you to the moon one of these days, Kate. If not, then I shall build you a telescope to allow you to observe and study the moon and stars more closely. Have you ever considered becoming a Scientist before, Kate? I believe that profession would suit you perfectly.”

Kate chuckled humorlessly at this, waving her hand dismissively. “Me, a Scientist? The last time I checked, I was a woman and not from a wealthy background either. My future lies on this farm which I am going to inherit one of these days when ma and pa will be too old to tend to it anymore themselves, or once one of them has gone and joined pa's parents on the other side. Of course, the idea of being a Scientist truly is intriguing, but I am not gonna succumb to the delusion that I have any chance of pursuing that career path in our day and with a society that doesn't even accept two women being in love with each other.”

Nastya averted her gaze at this and nodded, her tone distant. “You are correct, Kate. I apologize for suggesting that kind of thing. I am aware that this is a man's world which is by no means approving of females working in male-dominated professions like that of a Scientist. In all honesty, we can be glad if we find work in the first place and are able to earn our own money instead of being dependent on men, usually in the form of a husband.”

Nastya shivered at the thought, once more relieved to have not been forced into an arranged marriage by neither her biological parents nor the Doctor and Alice. Pjotr, to her relief, was aware of Nastya's dislike towards men as lovers and had been nothing but supportive of her lifestyle, much like Dee and Natascha.

Kate, who misinterpreted Nastya's shiver, thinking the blonde was cold, wrapped her arms around her, gently rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm her up. This in turn caused Nastya to blush softly, her body instantly reacting to the younger girl's touch, nuzzling her face into the crook of Kate's neck, having a hard time stifling a groan as she inhaled the intoxicating aroma of the redhead. 'I need to suppress those desires. Kate still requires time, she is so young. It is wrong for me to force her to do something, out of selfish reasons. I can not risk losing her because of my lust impairing my rationality.'

Kate gently ran one hand through Nastya's hair, asking hesitantly. “Nastya, are you alright? If you're still cold I could get you a pajama to wear instead of the nightgown.”

Nastya frowned at this, shaking her head slowly. “I am... alright, Kate. What do you mean by asking me if I am still cold? I have not been feeling cold. Was that the reason you suddenly embraced me, Kate? Did you wish to share your body heat with me to warm me up?”

Kate frowned at Nastya's words, nodding. “Well, yes, I thought you were cold. You were shivering earlier, so I was convinced you must be freezing in that thin nightgown. Guess I misread the signs. Why were you shivering though, Nastya?”

The blonde bit her lip and answered the younger girl embarrassingly. “I had made the mistake of imagining being married to a man. It was a most unpleasant thought...”

Kate couldn't help but chuckle at this, her heart melting at the precious scrunch of Nastya's nose, a fact that confused, yet also to her chagrin aroused the blonde. 'Those chuckles of hers are dangerous. If she was aware of the effect they are having on my body, I am certain she would refrain from chuckling in my presence.'

Kate, who indeed was blissfully unaware of the effect her chuckles had on the older girl, or the effect she had on her in general, planted a sweet peck on the blonde's nose, stating. “Precious.”

Nastya almost choked on her own saliva at that uncalled for remark, her cheeks turning dark, especially for her standards, almost whining out. “K-Kate that is... I do not wish to be associated with words like that.”

Kate blinked at this. “What do you mean you don't wish to be associated with words like that?” Then something occurred to her and she started to panic. “O-Oh! Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Nastya. I didn't mean to cause you discomfort. The word had slipped my lips before I even got to consider that you might not enjoy being addressed in such a manner. Is it because the term tends to generally be associated with females more than with males? Are you... generally uncomfortable being addressed with female pronouns as well?”

Nastya frowned and shook her head. “No, no. You misunderstood. I am not uncomfortable being addressed with, or seen as a female. What causes me discomfort, however, is being referred to with typical terms generally used to describe infants or small animals. I do not wish to be perceived as weak...”

Kate was stunned to hear that, telling Nastya matter-of-factly. “Me calling you precious doesn't equal me perceiving you as weak, Nastya. I'm aware that you're a very brave, strong person. Also, what's so bad about being weak every now and then? No one can be strong all the time and being vulnerable isn't necessarily a sign of weakness. In fact, it requires a great amount of strength and guts to allow yourself to be vulnerable and fragile, especially in front of others, ya know? That's just my own personal opinion on the matter, however. I want you to know that you can be vulnerable around me, Nastya. Feel free to be yourself when you're with me. There's no need for you to be ashamed, or afraid to show your weaknesses in front of me. I love you, every single version of you, Nastya.”

The petite girl's heart-felt speech had broken the dam, tears running down her cheeks. Kate gently kissed the tears from the older girl's cheeks, holding her even closer to her, whispering words of reassurance into her ear.

The two girls had soon fallen asleep again, limbs once more entangled, not a breath fitting between their bodies, Nastya's face buried in Kate's chest, a place that provided far more comfort than any pillow ever could.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Nastya have grown closer after their first night spent together in Kate's bed, their desire to explore their feelings impossible to ignore any longer. Meanwhile, another couple has found each other as well and is not ashamed to show it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, my lovely readers! I hope you're all doing well. The crackles in the air between Nastya and Kate are getting harder and harder to ignore. How much longer will they be able to resist the temptation? I hope you're all going to enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind and let me know. :)

Kate woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed despite not having slept too much the previous night. Her cheeks heated up, her heart beating faster when her eyes fell on the sleeping form of Nastya who was clinging to her, their limbs thoroughly tangled, making getting up impossible for the younger girl. The blonde groaned softly, her eyes slowly fluttering open, the sky-blue gaze taking Kate's breath away.

Nastya smiled softly, muttering. “Good morning, Kate.”

Kate swallowed hard, her mouth feeling very dry which resulted in her voice sounding rather raspy. “Good morning, Nastya. Did you sleep well?”

The older girl nodded. “Very well. Better than in a long time actually. How about you, Kate? I hope my presence has not disturbed your sleep too much. You did not have nightmares. Did you?”

Nastya inwardly sighed in relief at the petite girl shaking her head. “I didn't have any nightmares, don't worry and your presence was very comforting actually, not disturbing at all.”

The two girls gazed at each other, both suddenly transfixed by the other's lips. It felt much like an invisible force was pulling them towards each other. Kate was about to protest when Nastya's lips inched closer to her own, her ramblings about morning breath dying in her throat, the feeling of those impossibly soft, full lips gently caressing her own effectively shutting her up and making her forget all sense of rationality.

Their hands linked, the older girl soon having positioned on top of the younger, the tip of her tongue licking over Kate's delicate bottom lip which caused the younger girl to moan softly. Nastya used the chance of Kate's parted lips, slipping her tongue inside the redhead's mouth, tenderly caressing Kate's tongue with her own, a fact that made the younger, inexperienced girl shiver with anticipation and soon grow light-headed.

As they parted, both breathing heavily, Nastya blurted out. “I shall go to the bathroom and get ready first. I will be right back.”

Kate blinked, about to ask the blonde if she even knew the direction to the bathroom, but Nastya had already left the room. Kate shook her head.

'What's gotten into her out of a sudden? Did I do something wrong? Maybe she didn't enjoy the kiss...'

Kate sighed, an adorable pout forming on her lips. 'It surely must be because of the kiss. She hated it and instead of telling me, she left the room with a nonsensical excuse. Getting ready, hu? More like running away from me...'

The redhead sank back onto her bed, pressing the pillow against her face, yelling into it. “Idiot! You should've prevented her from kissing you before you'd brushed your teeth. She must be so disgusted right now. She's probably busy rinsing her mouth, trying to get rid of the taste of my morning breath. Ugh, this is so frustrating!”

The frustrated redhead's eyes suddenly widened as a familiar smell hit her nostrils. “This... oh my God! The pillow smells like Nastya! Oh, heavens.”

The smitten young girl inhaled the scent of the older girl deeply, burying her nose deep into her pillow, expression dazed, pleased coos and sighs of hers, fortunately for her, drowned by the thick material of the pillow. Nastya who re-entered the room was stupified to find Kate in this rather... odd position. She much felt like she was intruding on something, carefully creeping up towards the bed, watching on in amusement and fascination as Kate performed those strange actions, her face hidden by the pillow that oddly enough was lying on top of the younger girl's face, hiding it in the process.

“Kate...? I am finished getting ready. The bathroom is vacant now if you want to use it.”

The younger girl felt mortified hearing the familiar voice of the blonde she'd just been daydreaming about, slowly removing the pillow from her by now positively red face. Her voice sounded very hoarse when she answered Nastya.

“I'll go get ready in a moment. You can go downstairs already. I'll join you for breakfast later once I'll be finished washing up and getting dressed.”

Nastya left the room at this, walking downstairs, all the while wondering what she'd walked into just now. Either way, Kate had looked adorable with her hair sticking to all directions, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. Kate herself was crying out in frustration once she was sure Nastya was out of earshot.

“Ahhhh, stupid, stupid, stupid! Why do you have to be so embarrassing? What does she think of me now?”

The kitchen on the Janeway farm slowly filled with people, almost everyone awake by now. Unlike Nastya and Gretchen had suspected the other day, Dee and Beverly were nowhere to be seen so far. The blonde frowned at this but decided to give it some time. Her friend would surely show up here eventually.

The blonde was currently lost in thought when a familiar voice snapped her out of her stupor. Her eyes went wide, breath catching in her throat at the vision entering the kitchen. Kate, unlike the other day, was wearing a dress that hugged her body in all the right ways.

'Pervert. Such thoughts are uncouth! You should be ashamed of yourself. Oh, how am I supposed to keep my composure if she dresses in such a manner? That kiss earlier was almost too much already. I know that she is not ready to take the next step yet, but my own body keeps on betraying me. To run my tongue over her neck and then farther down to her collarbone and then to her b-'

“Nastya? Is everything alright? You look quite flushed. Are you having a fever?”

Nastya felt her cheeks heat up, even more, wishing the ground beneath her feet could swallow her whole. She dared not look up at the object of her affections and, admittedly, desires, muttering.

“I am... well, Kate. Do not worry about me. My state of health is optimal.”

Kate frowned, but nodded slowly, deciding to accept the older girl's answer for the time being, despite sensing that something was terribly wrong, Nastya clearly hiding things from her, a fact that upset the redhead. Quickly glancing around to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation, she asked, voice low.

“Is it because of the kiss? I'm sorry. I was about to warn you of my morning breath, but you effectively prevented me from saying anything...”

Nastya blinked hard at the redhead's words, the gears behind her forehead visibly turning. She bit her lip and mumbled, tone shy.

“The kiss is not the reason for my behavior. No, that is incorrect. The kiss is the reason, however, not because it was unpleasant, or your taste repulsed me. On the contrary, Kate. The kiss was mind-blowing and your taste, as always... nothing short of intoxicating. So much so in fact that... I can not seem to stop thinking about it.”

Kate felt herself blush, a flutter starting in the pit of her stomach. She licked her lips, voice low, whispering into the older girl's ear. “I can't stop thinking about the kiss either, your scent and your taste are making me crave more. The sight of you dressed in my nightgown and the memory of the weight of your body on top of mine. My mind's all fuzzy and my body feels like it's tingling all over. I want more...”

Nastya gasped, her eyes turning wide, the heat pooling between her legs which caused her to shift in her seat uncomfortably. “Y-you want more? Kate... Do you know what you are saying there? I do not wish to rush things and force you to do something that you are not ready for yet.”

Kate blushed even more at this, voice almost inaudible, deeply humiliated. “I know what I'm saying, Nastya. I'm not as innocent and pure as you give me credit for. It's sweet that you're being so considerate, but I... I'd love to take this to the next level if that's acceptable to you.”

Nastya felt her heart flutter at the younger girl's words, the fact that Kate seemed to have adapted to her way of speaking already, melting her heart. The two girls once more linked their hands, Nastya gently tucked at the redhead's earlobe with her teeth before whispering, voice even deeper than usual, sending a jolt to Kate's nethers.

“That is very acceptable to me, my love, but for now I believe we should concentrate on 'breakfast'. Do you not wish to drink your 'morning coffee'?”

Kate almost squealed, the flutters in her stomach going wild at Nastya's pet name for her. 'Oh, my Gods! She called me her love! Sigh, I feel like I'm in heaven. She's so dreamy.'

She quickly nodded, licking her lips. “Coffee sounds great, my love.”

Nastya gasped, cheeks turning redder than Kate had ever seen them before, the redhead having topped her statement off with a wink that was bordering on seductive. Nastya stammered, heart hammering wildly in her chest, her vital functions concerningly elevated, a fact that worried the blonde.

“I... I am going to get you a cup of c... coffee, Kate. Give me just a moment please.”

Kate smirked to herself, inwardly rubbing her hands in glee, the sight of the usually calm and collected girl act so nervous and shy filling her with an odd sense of satisfaction.

'I think teasing her could become one of my new favorite activities.'

While Nastya was busy preparing coffee for Kate and tea for herself, the missing two ladies entered the kitchen. All eyes, except for Nastya's turned in their direction, a fact that caused the duo to blush.

Gretchen smirked knowingly, asking her younger sister teasingly. “Did ya find your way out of bed, after all, Bev? Am I right assuming you've found yourself a new 'friend' there?”

Both Beverly and Dee ended up in a coughing fit, Nastya's cheeks once more heating up, having involuntarily overheard the conversation thanks to her enhanced hearing, wishing sincerely that she hadn't.

Beverly shrugged nonchalantly and declared. “Diamantina is a great woman, MOM. We were sitting here, having philosophical debates until the wee hours, and then we went to sleep in the spare bedroom together cause there was no other bed and I couldn't have her sleep on the sofa.”

Everyone was in awe and Nastya suddenly blurted out. “Diamantina? Dee, am I right thinking that this is your actual name? The one you stated was impossible to pronounce for people who are not originating from Greece?”

Dee blushed at this and nodded slowly. “Well, yes, sweetie. That's my full name. I know it's quite a mouthful, but you pronounced it perfectly. I apologize that you had to find out like this. In all honesty, I'd been ashamed to tell anyone my real name. It might sound strange to foreigners and it's meaning is. Well, kinda embarrassing...”

Nastya browsed her cortical node before stating matter-of-factly. “Diamantina translates to diamond. I do not think that the meaning of your name is 'embarrassing' at all, Dee. In fact, it suits you perfectly. You are a true gem of a person with a heart of gold, a rare treasure among so many monsters and shallow people in this world. Had you not found and saved me back then and Natascha as well, I would have never gotten to come to Ireland and meet Kate and her family. I owe my life to you.”

The room had grown silent, apart from sniffles and sobs. Everyone was touched by Nastya's words, but most of all Dee herself who quickly rushed over to her younger friend who was much like a little sister to her, wrapping her arms around her in a fierce hug that almost knocked the wind out of the unexpecting blonde.

Only thanks to her enhanced physique was she able to recover from the initial shock, returning the embrace in kind. Tears ran down both women's cheeks and for once Nastya allowed herself to cry even if she did feel worried for her highly empathic friend's well-being and mentally scolded herself for causing her to break down like this, despite her intensive self-care regime.

Dee diminished all of Nastya's worries, however, reassuring her that she'd be fine and that sometimes crying could have a cleansing effect on both body and soul.

Kate asked Nastya once she sat back next to her, voice laced with concern. “Are you alright, Nastya? That was quite intense...”

The blonde smiled and nodded slowly. “I am fine, Kate. In fact, I feel better now that I have finally said those words. I had meant to tell Dee my gratitude for a long time, but somehow there never seemed to have been a proper opportunity to do so and I have your aunt to thank for somehow having Dee reveal her real name to her. Beverly seems to have a way of persuading people.”

Kate smirked and whispered in Nastya's ear. “I think we both know what she did to her, my love. There is a certain situation which demands people to know each other's names, even if said people have only just met.”

Nastya's cheeks once more turned crimson at Kate's suggestive remark, one more look at the two older women telling her everything she needed to know, a gasp leaving her lips. “Kate, I think you are correct! How did you know?”

Kate snickered. “Oh well. I know my aunt Bev and also those love bites on both of their necks are a dead giveaway...”

Nastya filed the word love bites into her English vocabulary under favorite words and expressions, deciding at that moment to give Kate a lot of those herself once they'd be undisturbed again...


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nastya finds it increasingly hard to keep her composure around Kate, yet she is determined to do so for as long as possible, knowing that Kate will be worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, my lovely readers! It has been a while. I apologize for the delay in updates, but I hope you are going to enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind to let me know. :)

After breakfast had concluded, Kate, feeling bad for not having helped her father with farmwork in a long time, announced that she'd be helping him out for a few hours. Nastya felt a pang of disappointment hearing the younger girl state that, but quickly decided to go back to the camp to talk to her own father and discuss Kate's plans of joining the Voyager family on their tour through Ireland. Dee along with Natascha and Phoebe soon agreed to accompany the blonde back to the camp.

Phoebe snorted. “I honestly don't get why Katie didn't wanna accompany us right away.”

Nastya looked at her sternly, stating matter-of-factly. “Your sister is required to assist your father on the farm, Phoebe.”

The small girl rolled her eyes in a manner that reminded her of Kate, a fact that made the blonde feel warm and fuzzy inside. “She said that, but pa would've most likely allowed her to accompany us if she'd asked him. You two didn't argue by any chance. Did ya, Nastya?”

The tall girl blinked hard, wondering how the youngest Janeway had reached that conclusion. She shook her head. “No, we did not 'argue', Phoebe Janeway. I believe Kate might have experienced what is commonly referred to as 'guilt' due to having neglected her labor these past few days and hence she felt obligated to assist your father today.”

To both girls' surprise, Dee chimed in at this. “Never underestimate guilt. It is a very strong emotion, albeit a very negative, even unhealthy one.”

Nastya felt her cheeks grow hot, as the young woman had to notice to her own dismay, at Dee's glance that spoke volumes meeting hers at this.

The blonde huffed. “How am I not to experience this emotion after all that has occurred in the past, Dee? I am aware that it is a most unpleasant, even damaging emotion, but I simply cannot and will not stop feeling it simply because you, an expert on the matter, who just so happens to also be a close friend of mine, advises me to do so.”

Dee's eyes had turned wide, shocked at the younger woman's outburst. “Sweetie, I never said that I wanted you to stop feeling guilty. I'm simply concerned for your health and well-being, but I know that you have your reasons to feel this emotion and I respect that.”

Nastya nodded slowly, biting her bottom lip. 'Fool. You should know better than accusing Dee of all people to have ulterior motives.'

Nastya told the brunette in an uncharacteristically small voice. “I apologize, Dee. It was wrong to accuse you of having ulterior motives. I should know you better by now.”

The older woman smiled softly. “It's fine, sweetie. I know that it's a touchy topic for you.”

Nastya nodded, sighing. “You are correct, Dee. It indeed is a 'touchy' topic for me. Regardless, it was wrong for me to have lashed out at you like that. It appears that my patience is running a little 'thin' today.”

Dee leaned closer to her friend, whispering conspiratorially. “Did a certain redhead leave you hanging, sweetie? She seems to be quite the tease from what I've observed.”

Nastya's cheeks in spite of herself turned crimson at her older friend's words, voice sounding suspiciously hoarse when she stated. “D-Dee, this is a matter that should only concern Kate and me. I wish for you to respect my privacy. Unless you wish to elaborate on just what it was exactly that has transpired between Kate's aunt Beverly and your person the previous night.”

Dee, who had not at all been prepared for the younger woman's retort, blushed profusely, a fact that greatly satisfied Nastya who smirked to herself.

'Oh, Dee. She truly is no child of sorrow and the same seems to go for Kate's aunt. I guess I will not have to play 'cupid' for those two after all. They seem to have found each other.'

The quartet had arrived at the camp, Nastya walked up to Natascha, kneeling down to be on eye-level with the young girl, telling her gently. “I will go to my trailer for a moment and take care of a few personal matters then I am going to talk to papa. Feel free to come by if you shall require anything. Alright?”

The strawberry blonde girl beamed brightly, nodding softly. “I will comply.”

The blonde chuckled softly, touched at the younger girl's use of one of her own personal go-to phrases. The two girls nuzzled their noses, a display of affection they'd adapted to use as a parting gesture over the years the younger girl had been under Nastya's loving care.

Dee watching this wiped at her eyes in which tears had gathered, so touched was she at the rare display of affection from Nastya's side. Had the blonde not told her the story of how she'd first met and saved Natascha, Dee would've never once doubted the two girls to indeed be sisters, both their strong emotional bond and striking similarity in appearance could fool even experts like her.

“My daughters, you're back at last. I missed you!” Nastya and Natascha turned upon hearing their father's voice, the little girl turning giddy, dashing over to the man, tackling him down which made him laugh out happily. “There, there.”

Nastya chuckled at the sight, amused at Natascha's antics. She stood uncertainly at the side, watching the two talk and embrace.

Pjotr eventually turned to her, smiling softly. “Nastya, have you been well? I haven't seen you around in quite some time.”

The blonde instantly felt guilty, nodding slowly. “I have been very well, papa. Please excuse my absence. I had meant to keep you updated on my status, but I was caught up in some urgent matters. By the way, there is something I wish to discuss with you at your earliest convenience.”

Nastya and Pjotr had soon agreed to meet half an hour from now at the blonde's trailer. The young woman once inside her trailer brewed herself some herbal tea, sitting on her bed, retrieving her brown leather journal from its hiding spot, desperate to finally write a new entry, needing an outlet for the emotional and physical turmoil going on inside her. She opened an empty page, pen seeming to fly over the paper in inhuman speed.

**May 24 th, 1847, Carbury, Ireland**

A lot has happened within the past few days. Kate and my bond is growing ever-stronger. I have confided in her regarding my past the other day and she, to my surprise, has reacted with compassion and kindness I did not deem possible. She truly is a remarkable young woman who possesses an intellect and understanding of the world I did not expect to find in someone this young and seemingly inexperienced. It is true that she is an avid reader who frequents the local library of this town like no other.

However, the knowledge and intelligence she possesses seem to stem from more than just books. I believe it is what Dee has referred to as 'emotional intelligence' before, something which I due to my past at the Doctor's facility find myself lacking still. Last night, Kate and I have spent our first night together. I had a hard time maintaining my composure being this close to her, sharing one bed. At least I did not sleep nude as I usually do.

Kate allowed me to wear what she called a 'nightgown', a sort of dress made of a thin fabric that almost felt as if I was wearing nothing at all, so light was it. I had never once deemed Kate to be a 'tease', but I seem to have been mistaken and the worst part of it all is that she 'left me hanging' in this most unpleasant state afterward. Papa is going to come over for a talk soon and I have yet to find a way to regain my composure. My usual means of doing so is not an option at this hour.

Despite my own desperation, I do not wish to rush things and ruin Kate and my rather delicate bond, overwhelm her, force her to do something she is not ready for at this point in time. I will patiently wait for as long as she requires. All that matters is that we are together, lovers, the rest will fall into place eventually. This girl means the world to me and I know that it will be worth the wait, no matter how long it might take.

целую и обнимаю анастасия Kisses and hugs, Anastasia

Nastya closed her journal, quickly putting it back into its usual spot. She scrunched up her nose in distaste when she noticed that her tea had by now grown cold. If there was one thing she couldn't stand it was cold tea. The young woman had half a nerve to get up and brew herself a fresh mug when a knock resounded from her door.

Dismissing her plan, for the time being, she called out. “Enter!”

The door opened, her father walked inside.

Nastya smiled softly at him, gesturing towards the chair by the window. “Please take a seat, papa. I was about to brew myself some tea. Would you like some as well? Your favorite Earl Grey tea perhaps?”

The bald man smiled and inclined his head. “Thank you, Nastya. Earl Grey tea sounds perfect. You know me too well. There is something you wanted to discuss with me? Am I right thinking that it is in relation to your absence these past few days, moya lyubov?”

Nastya's eyes widened for a split second at her father's question, feeling caught.

She quickly regained her composure and while preparing the water for their tea told him truthfully. “You are correct, papa. I have encountered a girl here, Kate Janeway whose parents own a farm in this town. The two of us have grown quite close over the past few days and she wishes to accompany the family on our tour through Ireland along with her younger sister Phoebe who has befriended Natascha.”

The blonde handed the weathered man the cup of Earl Grey tea she'd brewed for him who nodded in thanks. Nastya sat down, nipping at her own herbal tea.

She had a hard time not spitting out the still-hot tea at her father's question. “Who is this Kate Janeway to you, Nastya?”

Nastya swallowed, having dreaded that question the most, knowing the older man was very protective of her.

Pjotr, who felt the reluctance from his daughter's side told her gently. “It's alright, Nastya. You don't have to be afraid to tell me the truth. I know you are an adult and as such you are able to make your own decisions.”

She bit her lip, telling him truthfully. “We are lovers, papa. Despite us merely having met not that long ago, my feelings for her are growing stronger every day. I love her with every fiber of my being. She means the world to me.”

Pjotr gently squeezed his daughter's hand, smiling genuinely, tears brimming in his eyes. “I can see that your love for this girl is genuine, Nastya. If she makes you happy, that's all I need to know. Kate is very welcome to join us on our tour and her little sister as well, of course. The more, the merrier, as I always say! Now go, konfetka. I am sure Kate is waiting for you.”

Nastya was about to protest and tell her father that Kate was busy doing farm work, but she knew better than to do so.

The blonde smiled, placing a gentle kiss on her father's cheek, a fact that stunned the man and melted his heart, telling him. “Thank you, papa, for everything. I am going to leave now and inform Kate of your approval.”

He smiled softly. “I'm looking forward to meeting the girl who has captured my Nastya's heart.”

Nastya felt her cheeks heat up, smiling shyly. “I am certain you are going to like her, papa. She is a remarkable person.”

He nodded, declaring earnestly. “She must be. I can already see the effect she is having on you, moya lyubov and it is nothing but positive.”

Nastya left the trailer in a rush, suddenly feeling even more eager to see Kate again. Taking the time into consideration, chances were high that she would arrive on time for lunch at the Janeway farm.

'That would be perfect. She should be having a break during that hour.'

Nastya felt her heart flutter in anticipation at the prospect of seeing Kate in her working attire which she found quite appealing, body covered in sweat and dirt from working in the fields and the exposure to the surprisingly hot late May sun.

Nastya swallowed. 'On further thought. It might not be the best idea to meet her like this. How will I be able to resist her in that most alluring state?'

The blonde felt doom come her way, fearing to be unable to maintain her composure around the redhead, her enhanced senses only worsening her predicament...


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Kate and Nastya find it increasingly harder to resist their desire for each other, especially Nastya's resolve is merely hanging by a thread anymore. Will they be able to hold on for a little longer, or is has the time arrived to take their relationship to the next level?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers! Welcome back to this story. I apologize for the delay in updates. This chapter is extra-long, however, so I hope you'll enjoy it! If you do, please be so kind to let me know. :)

Kate had spontaneously decided to help her father out in the fields that day. The young girl had been in dire need of a distraction and she'd hoped physical labor could achieve that. Edward Janeway was reluctant to agree to his eldest daughter's request at first, but one look at the young girl's face had spoken volumes, and the loving father he was, he'd eventually given in to which Kate had been very grateful.

The sun had glared mercilessly down at the duo as they'd went about their work, sweat trickling down the redhead's forehead and back. She was beyond glad her father had advised her to wear her straw hat to protect her face from the aggressive sun rays, knowing his daughter much like himself due to their fair complexion were highly sensitive and prone to getting sunburns and heatstrokes.

They'd taken turns going on breaks in between working, sitting down in the shade, and taking a few sips from the water Gretchen had packed for them. Kate had felt annoyed when she found out her mother hadn't packed a can of coffee for them this time, but her father had stated that in weather like this water was more advisable to drink than coffee since the latter was a diuretic.

The redhead had a hard time believing that nonsense, sincerely missing her beloved coffee, but grudgingly drank the water regardless which to her tasted very bland.

'Hopefully mom at least cooked proper food for lunch. Heavens forbid she suddenly goes all healthy in terms of that too! After working in the fields all mornin' I've worked up quite the appetite.

Nastya usually doesn't eat much at all. That must be the reason she's got such a slim build, but those curves though...'

Kate shook her head, cheeks flushed, heart drumming wildly against her ribcage, a not entirely unfamiliar heat pooling between her legs. 'Gods, how is it that even after hours of hard physical labor my thoughts still keep on drifting back to her? I must have a heatstroke after all.

The sun was awfully aggressive today indeed and that heat. To think it's merely late May. I dread for summer to come if spring's already that hot this year...'

Kate snapped out of her musings by her father's voice. “Everythin' alright, pumpkin? Your face is mighty flushed, despite the hat. I hope ya didn't get a sunburn after all.”

Kate waved it off dismissively. “It's fine, pa. I doubt I've got a sunburn. My face is just flushed due to the exertion and the heat. I'm sweatin' awfully much today. I was just thinkin', if spring's already this hot this year, I dread for summer to come.”

Edward Janeway had to agree with his eldest daughter. He too dreaded this upcoming summer, especially knowing Kate wouldn't be around to help him out with farm work as usual, but he knew his beloved daughter needed a change of scenery and some excitement in her life. He was loathe not to grant her that.

So he simply smiled kindly at his daughter. “It'll be fine. We'll survive it, pumpkin, as we always do. Us Janeways are made out of tough stuff. That little bit of heat won't get us down. We've been through worse and also more sun gives us more sun kisses. Always look on the bright side, Katie.”

Kate inwardly groaned at her father's last words that were topped off by one of the handsome man's good-natured chuckles. She didn't share Edward's love for their freckles, but refrained from telling him so, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

The young woman simply smiled softly and nodded in agreement. “You're right, pa. There's something good in everything and we Janeways are tough. Will you be fine workin' here on your own while I'll be touring the country with the Voyager theater though?”

Edward gently ruffled Kate's hair to which the redhead gave an adorable whine, claiming her hair was already far too messy as it was. “I'll manage, pumpkin. Also, your ma's still here too. We've already discussed this and she agreed to help out as best she can while you'll be on the road.

Don't ya worry none. You go see the world and have some fun for once. I know how much you've waited for an opportunity like this to come and you shall have it. Our daughters' happiness is what's most important to your mother and me, Katie.”

Kate suppressed a sob, taking her father into a fierce hug, telling him sincerely. “Thanks, pa. You're the best. I love you.”

Edward had tears in his eyes himself, whispering. “Anything for my pumpkin. I love you too, to the moon and back. Send a card from Dublin while you'll be there if you can. We've extended family residing there from my side of the family, so if ya'll come across another Janeway there, you'll know it's family.”

Kate gasped at this. “Pa, you never told me we have family livin' in the capital! I'll make sure to write a postcard to you while we're there and I'll be on the lookout for fellow Janeways now that I know they might be family. Do you have any idea what ma wanted to cook for lunch today, by the way?”

Edward shrugged. “She wouldn't tell me either, but I'm mighty hungry. Let's hope she's cooked plenty.”

Kate couldn't agree more and she hoped it was plenty of typical Irish food, not some new-fashioned low-calory dish.

The redhead's eyes grew wide when they entered the kitchen and the sight of an all too familiar tall blonde greeted her who seemingly helped Gretchen preparing the food while the two women were engaged in conversation.

When Edward announced their presence to the two, their talk ceased, both quickly turning around to greet them. 'Suspicious. What is it that they were talking about and what's Nastya doing here anyway?

Gods, she looks so good with that apron and her hair up in that bun. Wait... Is she wearing pa's shirt? Those shorts look like pa's old shorts as well.'

Kate swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat, stating. “I'm gonna freshen up and change real fast. Don't ya dare start lunch without me!”

She rushed up the stairs, the blood rushing in her ears, mind seemingly thousands of lightyears away, her body acting as if she'd just successfully performed a marathon. A sigh left the redhead's lips once she was inside the bathroom, her small frame leaning against the door for support.

'Heavens, that girl will surely be the death of me. There's no doubt in my mind about that. How did ma allow her to wear pa's clothes just like that anyway? She's already acting like Nastya's part of the family, almost like she's my... husband.

No, what are you thinking there, silly? Nastya's a girl like you. Sure, she might enjoy wearing men's clothing and she performs as a male for the theater, but at the end of the day, she's female. So, if you'd ever be able to get married the correct term would be... wife. Oh, my Gods! Nastya being my w-wife? This is...'

A growl she was unable to suppress left the young girl, the animalistic nature of it, stunning Kate, raw desire clearly audible in that one sound. The mental image of Nastya in a suit, carrying her over the doorstep like the perfect groom almost causing the poor smitten young girl to get a heart attack, her most private area throbbing in a way it never had before, deeply humiliating the still very much inexperienced, rather innocent Kate.

She had half a nerve to take a bath but ultimately decided against it, knowing she'd most likely already wasted far too much time procrastinating in the bathroom as it was and hence simply washed her face and hands before heading down to join the others again.

Nastya looked up when Kate entered the room again, immediately getting up to pull out the chair next to hers for the younger girl.

Kate's cheeks to her chagrin and Nastya's silent delight turned a pretty rose at this, her voice low. “Thanks, Nastya.”

The blonde nodded curtly, sitting down next to the redhead. Their hands were lacing obstructed from Edward and Gretchen's view thanks to the table, fingers once more communicating with each other.

Once they were finished with lunch, the blonde leaned closer to Kate, asking her gently. “How was work, my love? You must be tired from being out in the heat for so long. You shall go up to your room and rest.”

Kate blinked, about to protest when a traitorous yawn escaped her causing her to blush. “I guess you're right. Work was particularly exhausting today due to the heat and the aggressive sun. How was your day so far, my love?”

Nastya smiled softly. “My day has been 'fine' so far. I have talked to my father and he agreed to you and Phoebe accompanying us on our tour. He is looking forward to meeting you. I have been meaning to inform you of this news right away, that is why I came over.”

Kate nodded, smiling softly. She was about to feel disappointed that this was the sole reason the older girl had come over when Nastya added in an uncharacteristically shy tone. “Also... I missed you and I wanted to see you and check up on you, Kate.”

Kate's heart fluttered at Nastya's words. She bit her bottom lip, telling the blonde sincerely. “Same here, Nastya. I missed you the moment we parted this morning, but I... had my reasons for going into the fields earlier. I hope you understand.”

The blonde smiled softly. “I believe that I do. It is alright, Kate. Hearing that you missed me as well makes up for having been parted this morning. I shall head back to the camp for the time being so you can get some rest. I am going to come back in a few hours-”

To Nastya's surprise, Kate uttered. “Please stay, my love. I was hoping we could rest together. Sleep comes much easier in the comfort of your presence with your arms wrapped around me, your body pressed against mine.”

Nastya had a hard time maintaining her composure at the double-sense of Kate's words, forcing herself not to shuffle in her seat due to the uncomfortable wetness pooling between her legs.

'Pervert. Your behavior is most unfitting and to think you are wearing someone else's clothes. You should be ashamed of yourself. Kate was by no means referring to the filth you are thinking of, but sweet, innocent actions.

You need to compose yourself. You can not risk losing her. She is not merely a plaything. This is serious.'

Kate frowned, asking the blonde hesitantly. “Nastya? Are you gonna accompany me, or would you rather go back to the camp?”

The addressed girl snapped out of her funk at the redhead's words, getting up from her chair. “I am going to accompany you, Kate. I apologize for the delay. I was... lost in thought.”

Kate chuckled softly. “I could see that.” She leaned over to the older girl, whispering playfully. “You look cute when you're spacing out like that, my love.”

Nastya felt the blood rush to her cheeks and a place farther down, inwardly cursing herself for her strong physical reaction.

She muttered embarrassingly. “I am not... 'cute', Kate. You know that I do not enjoy being addressed in such a manner...”

Kate smiled, saying lightly. “I know, but that kinda makes you even cuter.”

The duo excused for Kate's bedroom, Edward and Gretchen watching on as they ascended the stairs wearing huge smiles. Gretchen smiled and sighed. “Oh, young love. This sure brings back memories.”

Edward placed an affectionate kiss on his wife's cheek, nodding. “It does. Our Katie sure has grown up a lot ever since she's met Nastya.”

Gretchen hummed, asking her husband carefully. “Eddie, are ya afraid the lil birdie's gonna leave the nest for good?”

The kind man shook his head. “Nah, Greta. Our Katie's gonna come back here when the time's right. It's true she loves adventure, seeing the world, meeting new people and the likes, but in the end, she's first and foremost a Janeway, and as such home and family are most important to her. She won't abandon us, or the farm.”

Gretchen nodded, smiling softly. “You're right. Also, Nastya made a promise and I know she's gonna keep it.”

Edward blinked at this. “Is that why ya'll were acting all secretive when Katie and I came back from the fields earlier, talkin' in hushed tones and such?”

Gretchen smiled, stating mysteriously. “Well, who knows, Ed?”

Kate went straight over to her bed and was about to undress from her work clothes when her eyes met the alluring sapphires of Nastya's own pair.

The petite girl gulped audibly, whispering. “I would like to take off my work clothes. C-could you maybe turn around for a moment while I'm undressing?”

Nastya suppressed a sigh and nodded slowly. “Yes, of course.”

Kate called out. “No peeking!”

The blonde nodded, but against her better judgment sneakily glanced over while the younger girl didn't look, her mouth going dry at the sight.

'This is... perfection! Those spots on her skin have increased in number since the last time I saw her body which was merely last night. It must be due to the exposure to the sun while working in the fields this morning.

How am I to compose myself, to rest next to her, knowing how divine her body is? This is most frustrating!'

Nastya herself had decided to stay in the shirt, merely having taken off the shorts, laying down next to Kate who was dressed down to her undergarments.

The redhead rested her head against the older girl's chest, a fact that only further egged on the already struggling Nastya, suddenly blurting out. “By the way, is that my father's shirt you're wearing, Nastya? And the shorts you wore earlier were his too, right?”

The taller girl blinked at the unexpected question, nodding slowly. “Your mother allowed me to wear those garments since I had arrived here in rather warm attire earlier and walking here from the camp. I am usually not prone to perspiring, but even I was feeling rather hot in long sleeves and pants.

Gretchen stated that your father does not wear those garments as much anymore and I am allowed to keep them if I wish to. However, I am uncertain as to how to act as of now.”

Nastya's decision was made when Kate stated shyly. “You look very handsome in that outfit, my love. I personally love seeing you in it.”

The blonde placed a soft kiss on the younger girl's forehead. “Then I shall keep them, Kate. I enjoy wearing this 'shirt' and those 'shorts' myself. Although, I have to be careful because my implants are exposed in this attire.

Thankfully, Dee has invented the potion which covers them to the naked eye.”

Kate huffed and stated firmly. “I don't mind the fact that your implants are visible when you're wearing this outfit, Nastya. They're a part of you and I don't think that they're unappealing.

In fact, they only add to your charms, your unique, exotic appearance. An intriguing person with a story requires a fitting appearance and with you, that's clearly the case. I love you just the way you are, my love, scars, implants, and everything included.”

Nastya sniffled at which Kate tightened her hug on the taller girl. “And I love you, Kate. You're the epitome of perfection to me, the most beautiful person I have ever met from the inside out. I vow to always be there for you, protect you, love you, and care for you, come what may.”

Kate blushed, tears rolling down her own cheeks.

Despite that she smiled widely, melting Nastya's heart, remarking playfully. “Already exchanging vows before even proposing to me? I must've completely missed out on the engagement ring.”

Nastya's eyes widened in panic, unable to detect the teasing tone of Kate's. Her voice sounded suspiciously high-pitched as she stumbled out an apology. “I... I apologize, K-Kate. I was not aware you wished to become engaged at this stage in our relationship. As you are aware I am by no means rich, but I will spend all my money to buy you a ring if necessary...

We are two females, however, so getting married is... at this point not pos-”

The blonde's rambling was cut short by a familiar pair of warm, sweet lips pressing against her own with quite some force. Nastya gave off a groan, cupping the redhead's cheeks with her hands, pulling her even closer to her.

Their limbs tangled, bodies pressed as closely together as possible, both desperately craving the form of physical contact. Nastya tentatively brushed the younger girl's lips with her tongue to which Kate gave off a precious little moan, parting her lips.

Their minds turned hazy once their tongues came in contact with each other, an explosion of flavors greeting each girl's tastebuds. Nastya was astonished to not find a single trace of the redhead's beloved coffee in the flavor that was uniquely hers.

Instead, she tasted both sweet and spicy. Nastya herself as Kate noticed had a clean, almost sterile taste, there were hints of mint and other herbs, however, which reminded her of the blonde's fondness of herbal tea which she must've been drinking sometime earlier.

Nastya thanks to her enhanced senses was able to detect something else as well, a smell that caused her nostrils to flare. It was not entirely new to her as she had detected it in the younger girl's presence before.

Their foreheads were leaning against each other, both breathing heavily after their intense lip-locking.

Nastya felt a shiver go down her spine once she realized what that smell was, her eyes widening.

'She is... aroused. It is the smell of her... sexual desire. This... this is bad. How am I to resist her like this?'


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Nastya share their emotional first time with each other and it becomes plain to see that this is meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, my lovely readers! Thank you so much for the kind feedback and support. I truly appreciate it! I couldn't simply leave you hanging on that cliff for too long, hence the fast update. I hope you'll enjoy it. ;)

Kate looked at the older girl curiously, cheeks flushed, eyes darkened in desire, voice hoarse. “Nastya? Is everything alright?”

Nastya bit her lip, her own cheeks to her chagrin heating up slightly. “Yes, my love. You should rest now. I will stay right here by your side.”

Kate pouted, not wanting to go to sleep, her body craving the blonde's touch, but she deemed they should probably take it slow. After all, they had merely declared their love to each other recently and Kate already felt very sore as it was.

Before she knew it, the redhead had already drifted off to sleep, cuddled into her lover's arms. Nastya felt her heart swell with a wave of love so strong it took her breath away for a moment as she gazed at the younger girl's peaceful sleeping face.

The blonde gently tucked some errant strands of Kate's luscious copper locks behind her ear, marveling at the softness of them.

A smile had formed on the usually stoic face of the older girl, Kate having once more nuzzled her face into her bosom much like an infant with its mother. 'A good mother. Gretchen surely must have done so back then with Kate and Phoebe.

The woman who dared refer to herself as my 'mother', however, never once paid any form of attention to me, at least of a positive kind, no pleasantries, reassurance, gentle gestures, 'hugs', none of that. Instead, slaps and kicks, harassment and hostility...'

Nastya felt a howling ache in her chest at the memory of that time, seeing her younger self before her mind's eye, sitting in that dirty house along with her horde of siblings and pets, patiently caring for them while the adults of the house were acting beyond irresponsible, soundly sleeping after another drinking bout, the living area littered with empty bottles of vodka.

Silent tears rolled down the blonde's cheeks that she couldn't suppress.

The redhead's grip on her body, to her surprise, had tightened as if the younger girl sensed the other girl's need for comfort, despite being asleep, and it worked. Before long, Nastya too had succumbed to a for once dreamless sleep.

When she woke up again, the blonde was greeted by the vision of her lover who was engrossed in writing into what she noticed to her delight to be a book with a red leather binding.

Her eyes turned wide when the realization hit her. 'Is she writing in her diary? I best not disturb her. It might be the safest if she does not notice that I am awake. I do not wish to intrude her privacy.'

Nastya closed her eyes again, acting as if she was still sleeping, so as not to alert the younger girl.

When Kate woke up and noticed that Nastya was sound asleep next to her, she used the opportunity, grabbing her diary from its hiding, carefully getting in a sitting position.

She opened a blank page, her pen flying over the paper, the white of the page forming a liaison with the curls of black ink of Kate's elegant handwriting.

**May 25 th, 1847, Carbury, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

I'm writing this while Nastya is sleeping right there next to me. Gods, is it possible for her to look any more gorgeous? I can't believe I've lucked out like that to have a girl like her fall in love with me out of all people. It clearly must've been destiny that we met.

After all, what are the odds of a Russian theater group touring Great Britain out of all places and stop by in our small town to perform, stay here for an extended period of time even?

I'd say they're pretty slim, but fate had planned for us to meet here at this place, for me to discover that poster which announced their performance and then actually go there, see her perform there, fall in love at first sight.

Now that I'm writing it down, it sounds like something straight out of one of my beloved romance novels! All this time I dreamt of experiencing a love story similar to those in my novels.

Out of all the love stories I've heard of, read in my life and as you are aware, those were a lot, ours is by far my favorite. I think I finally know what they mean by life often writes the best stories. Even I had never been able to come up with a novel, a love story like this one.

Also, guess what? Ma seriously allowed her to wear some of pa's old clothing and apparently even told Nastya that she could keep it. Gods, she looks so glorious in them too! I have a hard time not drooling as I'm writing this and watching her sleep in pa's old shirt.

Earlier I had an almost feverish daydream of her dressed in a suit, carrying me in ma's old wedding dress over the doorstep after our wedding. Yeah, right. As if that could ever become a reality.

We can already be very grateful that pa and ma, even Phoebe are so accepting towards us. According to Nastya, the same goes for her adoptive father, and then there's Natascha, Dee, and aunt Bev. It's so nice to have a support system like that.

When I first learned that aunt Bev was a lesbian as well, I was honestly stunned beyond my wits. Then again, she'd always been quite extravagant in terms of both her fashion and lifestyle. I'd never heard of her dating a man either.

Yet, that revelation was truly something. I'm just glad ma and she managed to patch things up and that she found a lover as great as Dee. They already seem to be attached by the limb even after merely having first met two days ago.

That merely once more proves my theory that some things are meant to be, some people are meant to meet and destined to be together, become lovers.

Earlier, I was convinced that Nastya and I would take things to the next level if you will. I didn't expect her to be the one to prevent us from going further by telling me to rest. Maybe it's best this way. We shouldn't rush things.

In all honesty, I'm glad she's so patient, sweet, and understanding, despite her past, or is it because of her past? The mere imagination of what those rich women did to her back then when she was still so young, innocent breaks my heart.

I can't help but fear that her past is going to negatively affect our relationship. No matter what, I will always be patient, gentle, and understanding with her.

I guess, taking her past trauma and my own inexperience into consideration allowing things to naturally progress at their own accord is the safest route to go.

That's all for the moment. I'll make sure to keep you updated on Nastya and my relationship and of course our upcoming tour together through the country.

Kate

Kate carefully hid her diary again and laid back down next to her lover. Nastya's eyes fluttered open, a dazzling smile forming on her gorgeous features, her voice low. “Did you rest well, my love?”

Kate blushed softly, the butterflies dancing wildly in the pit of her stomach, a bright smile on her own face. “I did, yes, thanks to your presence, my love. How about you?”

The blonde gently nuzzled the younger girl's neck which brought forth a precious little coo from the smitten redhead that warmed Nastya's heart. “Same here. It is curious how I never seem to be plagued by nightmares when sleeping next to you, my love. It must be your presence that is comforting me.”

Kate whispered sincerely at this. “Then we should make sure to always share a bed from now on, my love.”

Their hands were once more entwining, lips meeting in a sweet kiss that soon turned more passionate. Nastya had positioned on top of the younger girl, their tongues tangling, minds swirling, bodies buzzing with desire and want for each other.

When they parted from their kiss, the older girl gazed down adoringly at her lover, voice gentle. “You are so breathtaking, my love. I feel so privileged getting to be your lover and your first lover no less.”

Kate's eyes were hooded, a pretty blush having formed on her cheeks, voice sounding dark, sensual. “Nastya, could you be so kind to lock the door? I'd hate to be interrupted right now.”

The taller girl swallowed, nostrils flaring at the intoxicating scent of the younger girl's arousal tickling them. She quickly scrambled up, hastily fumbling with the door, muttering Russian profanities as she had trouble locking the door with her hands trembling.

Her own cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated as she went back into her original position. She leaned down, gliding her tongue over the expanse of the younger girl's neck which caused the redhead to shiver and whimper adorably.

Nastya had a hard time not to growl like an animal, her senses heightened, Kate's scent causing her head to spin and her center to pulsate with want.

Despite her own desire, she asked the younger, inexperienced girl gently. “Are you certain that you want this, my love? I am willing to wait for as long as you need if you should not feel ready yet.”

Kate's voice was thick with arousal by now, sending shivers down the blonde's body, determination audible in it. “I am ready, my love. My body is craving your touch, it feels like I'm burning.”

Nastya nibbled the petite girl's earlobe which made the younger girl moan out softly before stating. “I shall satisfy your needs then, my love. If your body craves my attention then how am I to refuse to give that to it?

Just please tell me if I shall be going too fast, or you feel uncomfortable with something, alright? I wish to make this experience as pleasant as possible for you, my love.”

Kate nodded, smiling softly. “I will do that, Nastya.”

Their lips met in another deep kiss then, Nastya's hands sneaking under the younger girl's undershirt causing her lover's breath to hitch.

They parted from their kiss, Nastya cocking her left brow, hands on the hem of Kate's undershirt, asking for permission to take it off which Kate granted by nodding her head.

The blonde bit her lip once the younger girl's upper body was presented to her in all its glory, the milky white skin adorned all over with freckles, a fact that Nastya deemed most alluring.

Kate's breath hitched as those plush, full lips came in contact with her heated up skin, the older girl's feather-like kisses leaving an exciting prickling sensation in their wake.

Another moan left the unsuspecting redhead's lips as long, slender fingers expertly started playing with her breasts, gently tweaking her nipples while the older girl's tongue swirled around her bellybutton, a spot on her body that was especially sensitive.

Her nethers were by now throbbing painfully, a fact that Nastya seemed to be aware of. Kate felt her cheeks heat up, her heart soaring at the sight of her lover who looked up at her from between her legs, eyes wide in wonder and love.

The redhead coaxed out. “P-please, take it off.”

Nastya understood and complied, swiftly rolling down the younger girl's underpants. Kate reflexively parted her legs, revealing her glistening center. Nastya felt her mouth start to water at the sight and the smell, her breath catching in her throat.

Unable to help herself, she breathed out. “Perfection.”

Kate whined cutely, hiding her face which was by now crimson. That sheer adorable reaction merely drove Nastya further on.

She looked up at her lover, asking one last time for confirmation. “Are you absolutely certain that you want this, my love?”

Kate nodded her head firmly. “Yes.”

With that, Nastya finally concentrated on the task at hand. She gently parted her lover's folds, entering Kate's tight channel with the middle finger of her left, her lips wrapping around the sensitive bundle of nerves atop the young girl's center which she sucked gently.

Kate had lost all ability to think and so she simply allowed herself to revel in the new sensations, her lover caused her to feel. Nastya was soon met with a barrier which she knew was the point of no return. If she broke this small, delicate piece of flesh inside her lover, Kate would officially be hers.

The flutter in the pit of her abdomen intensified at this thought, her finger prodding Kate's hymen with gentle determination, soon successfully having broken through, her finger curling up, by now buried deep inside until the knuckle, stroking what she knew to be a very special spot.

It didn't take long for Kate's walls to tighten around her, a cry resounding off the walls of her room, her body thrashing about the bed in violent spasms, toes curled, eyes tightly shut, hands gripping tightly onto Nastya's blonde mane, back arched in bliss. Nastya gently helped her down from her very intense high, their lips soon meeting in a sloppy kiss.

Kate wore a goofy grin, body glistening in sweat, hair damp and sticking to her forehead, cheeks and chest flushed.

Her voice was barely a whisper, only thanks to her enhanced hearing was Nastya able to make out what she said. “That was... mindblowing. I swear, I just saw the stars and the moon and the milky way for a moment there, my love. All thanks to you. I love you, so so much.”

Nastya smiled gently, tears brimming in her eyes, hands gently caressing Kate's face. “And I love you, more than anything in this world, Kate. I am happy to hear you enjoyed your first time as much as I enjoyed giving it to you.”

She gently retrieved her finger from inside her lover and, unable to help herself popped it in her mouth, desperate to taste Kate's essence. The redhead's cheeks once more turned crimson at the sight, her nethers throbbing all over again.

Nastya growled, eyes almost black in raw desire, voice deeper, more erotic than Kate had ever heard it before, that most alluring accent of hers only further adding to the effect hearing it had on the younger girl. “This... is the most exquisite taste I have ever encountered in my life! I used to think strawberries and chocolate were good, but your essence makes them pale in comparison, Kate.”

Nastya blinked when she felt a shift and suddenly a certain redhead was positioned on top of her, unbuttoning her shirt.

The blonde gulped as her lover stated seductively. “It's plain to see you're in dire need of a release, my love. Also, I am the only one naked here still. Don't you agree that that's a little unfair? I want to finally see my lover's glorious body too.”

Nastya flushed at this, muttering embarrassingly. “Kate, my body is anything but glorious. I am full of scars, implants, imperfections...”

Kate shot a glare that knocked the wind out of Nastya's pipes at her at this, voice stern. “I don't want you to talk about yourself like this, Nastya. As I told you before, to me you're perfect, scars and implants or not.

It's not your fault that your body looks the way it does. We both know that. I knew from the start that you were different, special, unique from that moment I watched your performance on that stage.

I fell in love with you despite, no because of your uniqueness, your individuality. So please don't be ashamed to show your body to me, my love.”

Nastya nodded slowly, tears rolling down both hers and Kate's cheeks. They shared a brief, warm hug, Kate gently kissing her lover's tears from her cheeks. Her hands resumed unbuttoning the blonde's shirt before taking it off.

Kate's mouth went dry at the sight of the older girl's smooth alabaster skin, ample breasts with rosy nipples that were already stiff, and below them rested a metal piece, bigger than any of the girl's implants Kate had seen before. The implant stopped right above her bellybutton.

Kate asked curiously. “What is the function of this implant, Nastya?”

The blonde patiently explained. “My abdominal implant regulates my inner body functions, that including my waste disposal, hunger, thirst, and monthly cycle.”

Kate's eyes went wide. “Does that mean you don't have to use the toilet? You don't feel hungry, thirsty at all and you don't get your period? That sounds awesome! I could easily live without having to go to the toilet and being plagued by those horrible cramps during my monthly cycle.”

Nastya smiled sadly. “You are correct, those two things are indeed convenient and at first, I was also content not having to deal with hunger and thirst anymore.

However, these days I sometimes long to be able to eat like a normal person, or even get to experience a monthly cycle, at least for once. You might not be able to understand that, Kate, but...

In a sense, those are essential human matters that the Doctor has robbed me off...”

Kate bit her bottom lip, her heart once more aching at the realization of just how impaired her lover was due to one lunatic having performed those horrible experiments on her.

The redhead gently caressed her lover's cheeks, whispering words of reassurance. Instead of exploring Nastya's body, pleasuring her as the older girl had previously done with Kate, the two girls' bodies naturally melted into one, hands entwined, lips locked.

Time seemed to stand still as skin touched skin, along with the odd metal from the older girl which was surprisingly warm and soft as Kate noticed.

When they climaxed it was Earth-shattering, minutes of orgasmic bliss, two bodies and two souls having turned into one, two hearts beating in perfect synchrony and it felt like coming home.

At the same time, in another room of the house, another redhead snuggled into her dark-haired lover after a long session of lovemaking.

Dee's kind mocha eyes twinkled, voice low and sensual as she told her lover. “My intuition tells me that two lost souls have just turned into one, forming a bond of eternal happiness and bliss.”

Beverly smiled widely. “Thank God for that! That tension between those two demanded action. I'm so happy for the kids. They truly deserve it.”

Dee smiled brightly. “They do. I see a bright future up ahead for them.”

Beverly tilted her head. “What do you see for us, dear?”

Dee smirked. “Oh, I don't know. I'm an empath, not an oracle, despite being from Greece, I am not from Delphi.”

Beverly smirked. “I know, darling. You're clearly from Lesbos. Are you not?”

Dee playfully swatted at her lover at this, both women breaking out into a laughing fit.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time for the departure for their journey has arrived, but a tragic event overshadows the event...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, lovelies. Thank you for your feedback and support! I truly appreciate it. I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind to let me know. :)

Kate woke up to the voice of her mother calling out. “Dinner is ready, everyone!”

Her tummy like on cue rumbled, the prospect of food suddenly sounding very appealing.

The young girl was reluctant to wake her peacefully sleeping lover and carefully disentangled herself from her.

She tried to get up but was halted in her actions, feeling sore all over. 'Darn! I feel like I've plowed the fields all by myself all day. I've never been this sore before.'

Her cheeks heated up at the memory of the events that were most likely the cause for her predicament, a smile forming on her lips.

Nastya's eyes fluttered open, her voice sounding hoarse. “Kate? Is everything alright?”

Kate bit her lip. “Mom just announced that dinner's ready and I'm very hungry. I wanted to get dressed and go downstairs, but I can hardly move an inch since my body's sore all over.”

Nastya instantly felt guilty hearing the younger girl's words, knowing she was in part responsible for the state her lover was in right now. She suggested. “I could help you get dressed and carry you downstairs, my love.

That way you would not have to walk. Would that be acceptable?”

Kate had a hard time not squealing like one of those annoying girls back at school, her heart soaring. “Yes, that would be very acceptable, my love.”

They exchanged a sweet kiss before Nastya got dressed and later helped the redhead into one of her dresses which coincidentally or not happened to be the one the younger girl had worn that evening Nastya had first seen her at the pub.

The blonde had a hard time not to ravish her lover all over again, the sight of Kate in that dress, her luscious copper curls up in a bouffant, those bright blue eyes holding promise to a happy future.

Nastya shook her head, snapping out of her daze. She pecked the cute nose of her beloved, asking gently. “Ready?”

Kate grinned and nodded. “Yes.”

Nastya lifted the petite girl up with surprising ease, remarking, tone teasing. “I am surprised you are this light, Kate, considering your love for food.”

Kate's cheeks turned crimson, whining out adorably. “Nastya... You're such a tease! As you're aware I work hard, so it's only natural that I need lots of nutrition. Also, mom's food is simply too good. I can't resist...”

Nastya smiled brightly, blowing the smitten redhead away, her tone filled with adoration. “I do love 'teasing' you, Kate. It is quite rewarding to see your cheeks turn this most alluring shade of red.”

The duo descended the stairs, the smell of Gretchen Janeway's shepherd's pie causing the younger girl to sigh in content.

When they entered the kitchen they were greeted by cheers, a fact that made both girls blush.

Nastya was about to sit Kate on her usual chair but the redhead asked, voice so low that it was only audible for the blonde. “Can I sit on your lap, please?”

Nastya's smile turned wider at this, all too happily complying.

Gretchen Janeway, unable to help herself asked, a playful glint in her kind blue eyes. “Did you rest well, you two?”

Kate coughed a fact that worried her lover who gently patted her back.

The redhead muttered. “Yes, ma. Thanks for asking...”

Dee suddenly exclaimed, wanting to save the younger from her predicament. “Have you started packing already, Kate?”

The redhead gasped. “No, I haven't started yet! When will we depart again?”

The brunette stated gently. “I thought Nastya had told you. We are gonna depart tomorrow, sweetie. I'm assuming Nastya's gonna share her trailer with you. Right?”

The blonde instantly nodded in confirmation. “You are correct, Dee. I am going to help Kate get packed later.”

Phoebe exclaimed proudly. “I'm already done packing. Natascha proved to be quite 'efficient' as a packer.”

The youngest girl's cheeks turned pink. Nastya cocked her left brow, stating proudly. “I have taught her to do so.”

Natascha grinned widely. “Nastya is the most efficient person there ever was.”

Kate chimed in. “I can attest that.”

The blonde's cheeks turned pink. Kate winked at her lover playfully.

Once they were back up in Kate's room, the older girl stated, voice low and sensual, sending shivers down the whole of Kate's body. “You seem to wish to engage in physical activities again, my love.

Or is there another reason for your 'flirting' during dinner?”

Kate coughed out, cheeks once more having turned crimson, voice raspy. “I- I mean I certainly wouldn't mind it, but my body's already sore all over and I should get packed...”

Nastya smiled, gently pecking her lover's lips. “I was simply 'teasing' you, my love. I am aware that you are still sore from our earlier 'lovemaking'.

Let me assist you in packing your necessities, Kate. As you have heard, I am very efficient as a packing aid.”

Kate smiled and nodded. “So I've heard, yes. I think it's best if you start by packing my clothes.”

Nastya went over to the younger girl's closet, inspecting the contents. “Do you wish for me to pack the whole contents of your 'closet', Kate?”

The redhead blinked, shaking her head. “No, that won't be necessary, Nastya. Do you have any idea how long your tour through Ireland is going to take in total?”

The blonde frowned. “Our tour through England took about a month in total.”

Kate nodded slowly. “Maybe I should pack more clothes than I initially thought after all. A month is quite long.”

Nastya stated matter-of-factly. “Four weeks.”

Kate chuckled. “Exactly. Will I have to perform as well, by the way?”

Nastya shrugged. “I am not certain. Papa has so far not stated anything regarding that matter.”

The blonde had soon very efficiently packed the whole of Kate's wardrobe in a travel bag, leaving the redhead behind gaping. “Natascha didn't exaggerate when she stated you were the most efficient packer out there, Nastya.

That was impressive! Where did you learn to do that?”

The blonde blushed softly. “Being physically enhanced does come with its advantages, my love.

Also, growing up with various siblings and very messy parents has forced me to... adapt to a cleanly, tidy lifestyle.

'Desperate times call for desperate measures.' as your people rightfully claim.”

Kate felt her heart ache at her lover's words, gently pulling her into a hug, hoping doing so would provide comfort to the older girl.

The lovers fell asleep, cuddled into each other's arms, dreaming of a happy future together.

The next morning, Kate woke up by the first rays of sunlight shining through her bedroom window. She felt oddly melancholic at the thought that this had been her last morning waking up in her own bed for a while.

Next to her, Nastya was still peacefully asleep, one arm draped around the younger girl's body.

Kate carefully removed the arm and grabbed her diary from its hiding, packing it into the travel bag which stood in front of her bed.

For a moment, she pondered whether she should take some reading material with her.

Nastya's trailer wasn't exactly very spacious and she didn't want to be too intrusive by carrying along unnecessary baggage.

The blonde's eyes opened, a smile forming on her face at the glorious sight of her lover who was dressed in her nightgown, long red hair falling loosely over her shoulders, framing her dollish features. “Good morning, Kate. Is something the matter?”

The redhead blinked, cheeks turning pink. “Good morning, Nastya. I was wondering if it would be alright with you if I'd bring a few books along for our journey.”

The older girl smirked, left brow and crescent-shaped implant raised suggestively, sending a jolt to the younger girl's groin. “It would be cruel not to allow you to do so, my love.

I am aware that you are an avid reader and require your reading material as if it was nutrition. Do you not?”

Kate pecked her lover's downy cheek. “Thanks, my love. You know me too well.”

Nastya smiled gently, running her fingers through that silky red hair. “You are most welcome. I do like to think that I do, yes.”

The lovers got up, Nastya went to the bathroom first to get ready while Kate had decided to pack the rest of her necessities that including her favorite books, some of which she wanted to introduce to her lover.

Once Kate was finished getting ready too, the two girls went downstairs for their last breakfast together at the Janeway farm, at least for the next few weeks.

Beverly and Dee were acting like they were on their honeymoon, completely lost in their own little world, a fact that caused Nastya to chuckle.

Kate bit her lip, shifting in her seat. 'Damn, those chuckles of hers are so erotic. She's giving me a hard time keeping my composure and concentrating on breakfast.'

Kate asked her lover curiously. “What's so funny, my love?”

Nastya remarked, tone amused. “Your aunt and Dee are acting much as if they were on their honeymoon. They are so immersed in each other.”

Kate cast a glance at the two older women, snickering. “You're right. Oh my. I wonder if we come over the same way as them, Nastya.”

The blonde to her surprise stated. “I would not mind that. The others are aware that we are lovers, so why should we not act as such?”

Kate grinned widely. “You're very right with that. I feel the same. Sadly, the general population still thinks otherwise regarding this...”

Nastya sighed, her tone dejected. “Indeed...”

After breakfast, the departing bid farewell to those who stayed behind. Beverly had agreed on short notice to accompany the theater as well, leaving Gretchen and Edward Janeway behind at the farm on their own.

Kate felt awful knowing her parents would stay behind alone, but they once more reassured her that it would be fine and she shouldn't worry, or feel guilty.

The young girl had waited for a chance to explore the world, meet new people, go on adventures and the likes for so long, a fact her parents were very well aware of.

In comparison to her older sister, Phoebe Janeway's reasons for wanting to accompany the Voyager theater were of a whole other nature, neither her parents, nor her sister were aware of that, however, and the young girl herself had promised herself to keep it this way, afraid of their reactions would they find out.

Nastya helped Kate carry her heavy luggage, the redhead marveled at the sight of her strong lover who carried those travel bags like it was nothing, her biceps flexing, the implant on her arm shimmering in the sunlight.

Kate licked her lips, daydreaming about teasing the implant with her tongue, kissing it, tasting it... “Kate? Are you alright? Your face appears quite flushed. Do you have a sunburn?”

The redhead blinked rapidly, shaking her head. Her cheeks flushed even more, feeling mortified to have been caught daydreaming once more. “I'm fine, my love. Don't worry. I was just caught up in daydreams again...”

Nastya nodded slowly. They entered her trailer, the blonde stored Kate's bags before closing the door of the trailer thoroughly.

The younger girl blinked at her lover's behavior, asking in bewilderment. “Nastya? Why did you lock the door? Is it customary to do so when you're on the road?”

The blonde shook her head, approaching her lover, voice dark in arousal, stunning the petite girl. “It is not. However, I do believe it is customary to lock one's door when planning to make love with one's romantic partner. Is it not?”

Before she knew it, Kate found herself on the surprisingly soft bed of her lover, a 6ft tall goddess on top of her.

Kate swallowed, greedily drinking in the heavenly sight, her own voice sounded grave when she stated. “It is, yes. I don't wish to be disturbed when spending quality time with you, my love.”

Their lips met in a kiss that turned their brains into mush, their senses taking over. Kate sucked on her lover's plump bottom lip, a gesture that was rewarded by a sensual low moan from the older girl.

Nastya's hands rode under Kate's skirt, sensually caressing the redhead's inner thighs.

The blonde was about to disrobe her lover from her dress when a soft voice and knocking on the door interrupted them. “Katie, Nastya, are you in there? There's something wrong with Natascha...”

Phoebe's voice cracked, alarming both girls who immediately scrambled up. 'No, this can not be! Not my little Tascha.'

Nastya felt tears brim in her eyes, running over to the younger girl's trailer.

Kate felt her heart break at her own little sister's tear-streaked face. 'Our journey has not even started yet. I hope Natascha is fine and that Phoebe panicked for no reason.'

Kate who knew how strong the bond between her lover and her little sister's friend was, didn't dare imagine anything serious had happened to the young girl...


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Voyager theater finally starts their tour through Ireland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, my lovely readers! I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter. If you do, please make sure to let me know. :)

When Nastya entered Natascha's trailer, she instantly ran to the young girl's side, being reminded of an event a few years ago back in Russia. The young girl had also fainted due to suffering from attacks of respiratory distress quite frequently at the time.

It had soon turned out that she was suffering from asthma and required special treatment. In England they had been at the seaside, the salty sea air seeming to work wonders, noticeably improving Natascha's state.

'What has caused this? I do not understand.'

She quickly rushed up to grab the medkit, preparing a syringe filled with the drug, carefully injecting the small girl with her medicine, hoping she'd soon recover. Kate had by now arrived as well alongside Phoebe, both looking on in shock at the sight.

The older Janeway sister asked her lover. “What did you give her there, Nastya? Is Natascha seriously sick?”

Her heart sank when the blonde nodded, voice dejected. “She is suffering from asthma. The attacks come at random but are typically provoked by stress or physical exertion.

I have just injected her with a dose of cocaine which should help relieve the pain and improve her state shortly. Phoebe, what has transpired before the attack occurred? I have to know this. Please be honest with me.

It is of utmost importance if we want to ascertain Natascha's well-being.”

Kate looked at her little sister who had started to fidget nervously, confusing her.

The redhead looked at her sister gently. “You care for Natascha's well-being, Pheebs. Don't you? No matter what has happened, we won't scold you. Just please tell us.”

Phoebe had dreaded this conversation to come, her eyes downcast.

To all their surprise, a small voice disrupted them. “It wasn't Phoebe's fault. She didn't know I'm sick. I should've known better. I'm sorry for worrying you all and for delaying our journey...”

Nastya sat next to her little sister, gently caressing her hair, telling her in Russian. “Tascha, I was so worried. Afraid I would lose you...”

The younger girl's heart ached at the tears brimming in the older girl's eyes. “I'm sorry, Nastya. I was reckless earlier. For a moment there I seemed to have forgotten my sickness, but I promise that I won't simply leave you behind like that.

I will be more careful from now on.”

Nastya was admittedly still curious as to what had happened that had provoked the attack and so was Kate, but the younger girls were persistent in keeping their lips sealed, Natascha reassuring the oldest girls that it was irrelevant what it had been and she would not be doing it again in the future to which Phoebe agreed.

Nastya and Kate had reluctantly gone back to the oldest girl's trailer after having talked to Pjotr and updating him about the status.

Their journey finally started, Nastya clearly out of sorts, sitting on the bed, staring blankly ahead, deeply worrying her lover.

Kate asked hesitantly. “Are you alright, my love? I'm sure the kids had their good reasons for not telling us what had transpired back there.”

Nastya sighed heavily. “I know, Kate. You are most likely right, but... I am simply so worried. When your sister came here earlier and said that something had happened to Natascha, I had feared the worst.

I have already almost lost her many times over the years she has been under my care. I can not risk losing her. She in a sense is not merely like my little sister but like my daughter.

I have watched her grow, raised her, provided for her as best I could, watched over her, protected her...”

Kate took her lover who had started to cry heavily in a warm embrace, whispering words of reassurance, running her fingers through those soft golden locks of hers.

Nastya blushed when she noticed the younger girl's shoulder was soiled by her tears. “I apologize for soiling your dress, Kate. It was foolish to cry like that. I am usually more well-composed...”

Kate smiled sympathetically. “I'm aware of that, my love. It's fine. I don't mind it. You have nothing to apologize or feel ashamed of. Crying has a cleansing effect. It seems like you needed it. Are you hungry, by the way?”

Nastya cocked her left brow at that. “You do not wish to cook. Do you, Kate? Your mother has told me that your qualities lie in other fields than cooking.”

Kate snorted at this, her cheeks turning crimson. “What exactly has she said, Nastya? I doubt she's put it that nicely.”

The older girl recited, clearly trying to imitate Gretchen Janeway. “Katie is a sweet girl, I love her to bits, she has lots of talents, but heavens forbid if you let her near a kitchen, a stove!

Unless you wanna burn down the place, Katie should stay out of the kitchen! I tried teaching her cooking, but it's clearly not her forte...”

Kate barked out a laugh at this which sent a flutter to Nastya's lower abdomen. “That sounds more like mom and that was quite an impressive imitation of her you did there, my love. It's obvious you are working as a performer. You have a great talent for acting.

From what I've gathered so far you're a great cook. Are you?”

Nastya blushed softly at her lover's compliments, shrugging. “I do not know whether I am a great cook per se, but so far I have received no complaints by any of the people I cooked for.”

The younger girl remarked at this. “I'd say that's a good sign. You don't usually eat much, Nastya. Do you?”

The blonde nodded. “You are correct. Due to my abdominal implant, I am merely able to ingest small amounts of solid nutrition at once. Are you 'hungry', Kate? Shall I prepare 'food' for you?”

Kate didn't want to force her lover to cook solely for her, knowing she needed rest.

She shook her head. “It's fine, Nastya. I'm not hungry. Let's get some rest, alright?”

The older girl agreed and they laid down together, Kate asked. “By the way, do you have any idea when we are going to reach our first stop?”

Nastya pondered for a moment before stating. “I believe we should arrive there soon. The town we will perform next is fairly close to your hometown.”

Kate nodded, cuddling into her lover's embrace, both soon drifting off to sleep...

Kate stirred awake and was met by shocking blue. It took a moment before she realized that she was looking into her lover's eyes. 'That sure is a great way to wake up and kinda frightening too. I didn't remember her eyes to be this intense.'

A surprised soft whimper escaped her at a familiar set of plush lips pressing against hers, her eyes soon closing, returning the kiss in kind, a wide grin forming on her face.

Her voice sounded slightly raw due to the early hour which in Nastya's opinion only added to its appeal. “Good morning, my love. I love being woken up like that.”

The blonde smiled softly, caressing her cheek. “Did you sleep well, my love?”

Kate nodded. “I always do with you next to me.”

Suddenly the redhead noticed something, asking in surprise. “Have we already reached our destination?”

Nastya nodded. “It appears that we have. Do you wish to go out and take a look around the area?”

Kate always up for exploration and adventure jumped up from the bed, taking one glance down at her appearance she said sheepishly. “After I have freshened up and changed into fresh clothes.”

Nastya whispered in her ear. “Shall I help you get ready, my love?”

Kate blushed. “I'll manage, Nastya. Maybe you could help me get dressed and do my hair again once I'm finished washing myself, however. I would truly appreciate that.”

The older girl smiled and readily agreed. “Of course, Kate. I will be waiting.”

Kate asked over her shoulder. “Did you already get ready, by the way?”

Nastya inclined her head. “I did.”

The redhead was stunned, her lover usually seeming to enjoy sleeping in, but she shrugged it off, musing that maybe she had woken up early because they had arrived at their destination.

The blonde's inner clock seemed to be shockingly accurate. Kate couldn't help but wonder if this was one of the Doctor's doings as well, but pushed those grim thoughts away quickly, not wanting to delve too deep into that.

Nastya had already laid out a new outfit for her lover. The blonde had a hard time not to growl as her lover approached her in the nude, long hair covering her breasts, hands shyly covering her intimate area which sent a flutter to the older girl's heart.

'She is too precious. Acting so shy despite us being lovers and me knowing her quite intimately by now.'

The older girl couldn't help but blurt out. “You resemble the Venus of Botticelli right at this moment, my love. Have you ever heard of the painting before?”

Kate's cheeks turned crimson. “Of course, I've heard of it, seen pictures of it in art books. You're flattering me, Nastya. The Venus is absolutely gorgeous, a goddess, while I'm merely an ordinary girl.”

Nastya declared. “You are no ordinary girl, Kate. You are extraordinary, gorgeous, your looks much like those of a deity, or a celestial being, not that I personally believe in these kinds of things.

The being that by far reminds me the most of you, however, will forever be a faerie.”

Kate chuckled. “Because I'm short, hu? Well, enough of praising my looks. I'd like to get dressed now. If you don't mind. Please work your magic, my love.”

Kate at this moment once more was thankful for her lover's efficiency, allowing the younger girl to be ready to go within less than fifteen minutes when usually this kind of affair could easily take twenty to thirty minutes.

Nastya, as Kate only noticed now had dressed in her disguise as Nikolai again.

The redhead asked curiously. “Nastya, is there a particular reason you're wearing your disguise?”

Her eyes turned wide when her lover admitted. “I am registered as a male, so if anyone should wish to see my papers and I am not dressed accordingly, chances are high I will get arrested.

I had trouble with law enforcement before. I do not wish to experience that kind of ordeal again.”

Kate's eyes went wide. “Wait a second there. You are registered as a male? What does that mean? That Nastya, my lover doesn't even exist?”

The blonde bit her lip. “Not officially, no. I deemed it best to register as a male back then when I had first escaped the Doctor's fangs.

As I told you before, finding work was much easier for boys than it was for girls, so I was forced to take on this new identity. That is how Nikolai was first born.”

Kate nodded slowly, asking hesitantly. “Nikolai...? You have never actually told me your last name, Nastya.”

The blonde swallowed, having dreaded this question. “Romanow.”

Kate's jaw dropped. “Wait... That's the name of the royal family of your home country. Isn't it?”

Nastya sighed and nodded. “Indeed, it is. I am as you can see by no means a 'blue blood', of royal descent, however.”

Kate frowned. “Are you sure of that, Nastya? Your appearance does seem quite regal to me.”

Nastya chuckled. “Kate, I am a mere peasant, a lowly performer. It is a mere coincidence and not a good one, in my personal opinion, that I share the same last name with the royal family. Are you ready to depart and 'go into town' now, my love?”

Kate nodded. “Yes, of course. Let's go. I'm excited to see if this town's any different to my hometown, or not. Also, maybe we can find a place we can get something to eat. I am quite hungry.”

Nastya chuckled. “Very well. Good thing I brought along some money then.”

Kate beamed and leaned against her lover, sincerely hoping they would find a place that would be selling decent food which wasn't easy to come by these days as she knew in many places around the country due to the Great Famine.

Kate found herself hoping and praying this year's harvest would be better. Although her family, thankfully had been mostly spared so far, chances were with the upcoming summer most likely going to be hot and dry negatively affecting their crops as well...


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nastya's performance is quite overwhelming causing her to experience a panic attack. Kate is more determined than ever to provide moral support to her lover in a rather unconventional way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, my lovely readers. It has been a while, hasn't it? I sincerely apologize for the delay in updates. I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter. If you do, please be so kind and let me know. I always appreciate your feedback. :)

Their first day in the new town had gone by within the blink of an eye and Nastya alongside the rest of the Voyager theater was getting ready for her performance which would be within the hour.

The blonde as per usual was shaking with nerves, on the verge of a breakdown, in fact.

Kate who noticed her lover's struggles, walked up behind her, gently back hugging her, taking her hands into hers, squeezing them reassuringly. “It's going to be fine, my love. You can do it.

The crowds are gonna love you. I know they will. Your performance is the most popular one out of all of the theater's performances. There's nothing to worry about.”

Nastya nodded, knowing instinctively the younger girl was right, yet her severe stage-fright combined with general anxiety still got the best of her.

She turned around in the embrace, muttering. “I could think of one remedy to relieve me of my fear, my love.”

Kate told her sincerely. “Whatever it might be, as long as I can help you with it, I'll do my best to do it for you.”

The redhead's cheeks turned pink as Nastya stated, voice low and sensual. “Kiss me, Kate.”

The younger girl swallowed, muttering. “We both know where this might lead...”

Nastya smirked. “I think we have sufficient time for that still. Do you not? Also, I could use the distraction, my love. Unless you are not agreeable with it.”

Kate blushed, even more, pulling the taller girl close to her. “Of course, I am agreeable with it, my love.”

Nastya sighed softly as the younger girl pressed her lips against hers at this, wrapping her arms around the redhead, lifting her onto her strong arms, carrying her over to their bed.

The blonde growled as her lover sucked on her bottom lip possessively, her hands swiftly wandering under Kate's dress, kneading her apple bottom.

The redhead whimpered adorably, her eyes by now clearly clouded in desire, voice raspy. “I think we should undress.”

Nastya smirked at her lover's words, swiftly helping the younger girl out of her garments before undressing herself, all the while neatly and efficiently folding their clothes, placing them on the chair.

Their lips met in another passionate kiss, moans soon filling the air once skin met skin, Kate was grinding against Nastya's thigh in the most sensual way causing the older girl's mind to swirl.

The blonde eagerly watched her lover, drinking in the heavenly sight of this redhaired goddess on top of her, the sweetest sounds that sounded like music to Nastya's ears leaving her lips, her motions turned more forceful, her back arching as she peaked, the most sensual throaty moan caused Nastya to shudder, a knot forming in the pit of her own stomach and within seconds she climaxed as well, her eyes squinting shut, colors and patterns appearing behind them and the vision of a girl dressed in what Nastya recognized to be a wedding gown.

Tears trickled down the blonde's cheeks, strangled sobs worming their way up her throat, a fact that alarmed her lover who looked on in concern.

Kate leaned down, gently caressing the older girl's downy cheeks, whispering. “Nastya, is everything alright? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all...”

The redhead felt the all too familiar vile guilt bubbling up in the pit of her stomach, but Nastya smiled, eyes fluttering open, the brilliant sky blue taking Kate's breath away. Her voice was soft, barely a whisper, laced with pure love and affection. “Do not apologize, my love. Everything is perfect, in fact.

This was not a bad idea, but the best one. I just had a vision of seeing you in a wedding gown and it... was so unexpected, overwhelmingly beautiful, that combined with the bliss of our lovemaking turned me very emotional.”

Kate had tears in her own eyes now, whispering. “I've had a vision of you in a wedding suit before, as you know, so I can very well relate to that, my love. How I would love getting married to you for real, turn this dream of ours into reality.” 

Nastya smirked, stating smugly. “It just might be possible, my love. I am registered as a male, after all and as such, I am very much allowed to legally get married to a woman. Nikolai Romanow could get married to Kate Janeway without any problem.” 

Kate's eyes widened, gasping out, a wide grin forming on her face that melted her lover's heart. “Oh, my Gods! You're right, Nastya! How come I hadn't considered that before? This is brilliant!” 

Nastya smiled, the lovers sharing another deep kiss. Kate happily cuddled into the older girl's embrace and they were about to get comfortable when a knock on the front door alerted them, followed by Pjotr's voice. 

“Nastya, you're up next!” 

The blonde sighed softly, exclaiming. “Understood, papa. Give me just a moment. I will be right there.” 

She placed one last kiss on her lover's forehead, Kate got up, allowing Nastya to get dressed. Kate was once more astonished at the very efficient way in which the older girl transformed back into her alter ego Nikolai. 

The blonde winked at the younger girl before she left to which Kate's cheeks turned crimson, stating. “Ya lyublyu tebya vsey dushoy, Kate.” 

The younger girl hid under the blanket, heart beating wildly, cheeks bright red, rolling around, squealing. 'Oh, my Gods! Her speaking Russian is so, so... sensual, arousing. Sigh. I wonder just what she told me though. 

In all honesty, she could've said anything and it probably would've still sounded so dreamy simply because it was in Russian. 

I should really have her teach me her mother language. She speaks mine too, after all. I at least wanna learn the basics.'

When Nikolai entered the stage, the crowds were in an uproar. Nastya had a hard time maintaining her focus over the incessant cries and cheering from what she was able to determine the female audience. 

She was all the more relieved that Kate had decided to stay behind in the trailer instead of watching her performance, not too keen on making her jealous, or upset her because of those women. 

The blonde sighed audibly once her performance had concluded and she was outside again. 

She had by no means expected the crowds to be this loud and excited tonight, especially the female audience which seemed to have mainly consisted of young girls, a fact that surprised Nastya. 

The young woman was thoroughly unused to being 'famous', if you will or popular with girls, especially of her own age. 

Shivers went down her spine at the highly unwelcome and unpleasant memory of those times back then, those women who had treated her much like an object, not at all like another human being, even less someone who could very well have been their own child agewise. 

The blonde quickly entered her trailer again, collapsing the moment the door had closed behind her, curling up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, whimpering. 

Kate, who had just been reading, instantly grew alarmed upon hearing the pathetic whimpers, her heart aching at the sight of her lover who seemed to currently be suffering from a panic attack. 

The petite girl carefully approached the taller girl, gently wrapping her arms around her, whispering words of reassurance into her ear, soothingly running her hand through the soft blonde curls. 

Kate asked carefully once her lover's sobs had died down. “What happened out there, my love? Was it a bad audience tonight?” 

Nastya sniffed and muttered, voice still thick due to having bawled her eyes out. “Not bad per se, but the female audience reminded me so much of that time back then when I lived in the streets in Russia and I... 

I barely made it through the performance without collapsing. Their cheering and over-excited reactions were simply too much...” 

Kate felt rage boil up inside her at the audacity of those women and the mention of her beloved's dark, traumatic past. 

She muttered, tone laced with guilt. “I wish I could've been there to support you. I should've accompanied you, instead of staying behind here. I'm sorry...” 

Nastya smiled softly, shaking her head. “No, my love. It was better that you stayed here. I did not wish for you to be there. Having to experience that audience myself was bad enough, but if you would have had to experience it yourself, I know it would have unnecessarily hurt and upset you. I do not wish to cause you pain.”

The lovers had gone to sleep right after their emotional discussion, both tired and exhausted. 

Nastya was beyond grateful to be able to fall asleep in her lover's arms, her presence providing much-needed comfort, filling her every fiber with warmth and a love so profound it almost made her weep again. 

Kate had watched her lover for a while before eventually falling asleep herself that night, feeling much similar emotions, and an idea was born out of the wish to protect her lover and provide moral support to her during her performances. 

The redhead had considered working on a performance for the theater herself before and now that idea had manifested into a plan. 'I'll work on something. All I need is a concept for a performance, something which fits the theme of a trek through the stars.' 

Out of a sudden, it was as if a lightbulb had gone off in her mind. 'Of course, that's it! I will be the first female captain of a rocket ship who goes to see the moon and tells the audience about her sightings and experiences there!' 

Kate wasn't sure if she could pull off that kind of act, never once having acted or performed before, but she mused it was worth the try. If she couldn't go explore the moon and galaxy in real life, at least she could imagine doing so by posing as captain of a rocket ship. 

Kate was very well aware that females in these kinds of positions, or in the Science field in general were pretty much non-existent, but she sincerely hoped that one day in the future this would be different. 

'What does a captain of a future rocket ship, or a rocket Scientist wear though?' 

Kate doubted coming across fitting attire for her performance would be easy, if at all possible, but an inkling told her that her lover might be able to help her out in terms of this, the older girl so far had proven to be a rather talented housewife. 

'H-house wife? Oh, Gods... I have to stop daydreaming like this!' 

The image of Nastya in an apron, her hair up in a bun, dressed in her dad's old shirt and shorts flickered before her mind's eye, causing her cheeks to turn crimson.

Nastya woke up to the most endearing sight of a profusely blushing, adorably flustered Kate. 

A smirk formed on the older girl's luscious lips, whispering seductively in her lover's ear. “What a most alluring sight to wake up to, Kate. Would you mind sharing with me what has caused you to 'blush' in this most adorable way?” 

The redhead coughed, feeling very caught and deeply humiliated, her cheeks by now a deep Merlot. “N-Nastya, you're awake... I... was daydreaming again, ehehe. 

Just... you know... remembering seeing you wearing an apron along with pa's old clothes and your hair up in that bun. I thought that you'd make for such a great housewife...” 

Nastya found her own cheeks heating up at that last remark of her lover, stuttering out. “S-so I see...” 

The blonde blinked when her lover asked her seemingly out of the blue. “By the way, I've been wondering. What was it that you told me last night before leaving for your performance, my love? 

As you're aware I don't speak Russian and so the only thing I understood was my name...” 

Nastya's cheeks grew hotter still, sincerely having hoped the younger girl had not paid that much attention. 'She truly has a way of switching topics and catching me off-guard, that girl...' 

She swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat, muttering embarrassingly. “I said... I love you with all my soul, Kate... I am aware that it is quite extreme, but I truly do feel this way for you...” 

Kate smiled, her heart leaping at the older girl's words and her rare display of shyness. 

The younger girl stated wholeheartedly. “I love you with all my soul as well, Nastya. It's not extreme at all. Our love is very strong, so is our bond. I also feel that our souls are entwined, my love. 

Our love story is my favorite that there is in this whole wide universe and in any other too.” 

Nastya smiled widely, hugging the petite girl tightly, whispering over and over “I love you.” to which Kate replied in kind every single time. 

The younger girl was determined to tell her lover about her plan of performing as the first female captain of a rocket ship later, but for the moment she simply wanted to enjoy being this close to her lover and enjoy the first hours of the morning together.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Nastya are planning their future together, the theater is slowly approaching the capital. Kate enjoys her performance as captain of a rocket ship more than expected. Everything seems to be going great, until the evening after their last performance in Kildare county...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this story, my lovely readers! It has been a while. Thank you for your continued interest and support. I truly appreciate it! I hope you're going to enjoy this new chapter. If you do, please be so kind to let me know. I'm always thankful for feedback and constructive criticism. :)

**June 1 st, 1847, Naas, Kildare County, Ireland**

Dear diary,

We're slowly approaching Dublin. Tonight we'll have our last performance in this county and tomorrow we will be heading over towards the next one. Our tour through my county was a huge success. I wonder if people in Dublin are aware of the Voyager theater already.

My own performance as Captain Kathryn Janeway of the rocket ship Voyager was a huge success as well. Nastya and I are now officially the stars of the theater and I must admit that being famous if you will, is quite overwhelming still.

Thankfully, we usually don't get approached by people outside of our performances since both our appearances are almost irrecognizable out of costume.

Nastya truly has outdone herself creating my what she refers to as 'spacesuit' and the rocket ship itself looks very convincing as well, at least in my humble opinion, not exactly being a Scientist, or anything, just a young farmer who loves to read.

I must admit though that portraying the captain of a rocket ship, a Scientist from the faraway future, holds quite some excitement and I do enjoy being in character as Kathryn.

In the beginning, I had my doubts about speaking in a what Nastya calls 'command voice', but it came surprisingly naturally and the audience seems to love my 'death stare' as Phoebe tends to call it.

What matters far more to me than the opinion of the audience on this matter is Nastya's opinion and she loves my death stare too. The first time she told me this, I was honestly shocked.

Believe it or not, Nastya hasn't missed a single performance of mine so far and I've been watching hers as well, already to make sure that she's fine and won't suffer from a panic attack like during that first performance a few days ago.

These days, we are busy working on a new performance which allows all of the artists to work together. The characters we represent in our individual performances are going to gather onboard Voyager with me recruiting them for a mission across the galaxy under my command as Captain Kathryn Janeway.

So far, I'm a little unsure about this new concept still, but the aspect of getting to perform alongside Nastya, Dee, Natascha, even Pheebs and aunt Beverly, not to forget Nastya's father, of course, is rather appealing, however.

The more I think about the stars, the universe, rocket ships, and the likes, the more I wish I could someday go on a journey through space myself, but Science seems far away from those kinds of things still these days. I guess, one can always dream and read.

Also, I still have my new alter ego Kathryn to do these things for me, explore, go on adventures and be a rocket ship captain. This character is providing me much more comfort than I would've ever anticipated.

On a lighter note, Nastya and I are busy planning our wedding, and guess what? Aunt Beverly proposed to Dee the other day! I was both shocked and delighted.

It would be so sweet if they could get married as well, if we could have a wedding ceremony together, like a double wedding. For that, aunt Beverly would have to get very creative though.

I feel bad for them since they don't have the privilege Nastya and I do thanks to my lover officially being registered as a male. Something tells me that they might make it work regardless, however. Guess only time will tell.

That's all for now. I will write again soon.

Kate

Kate sighed and got up from the bed to prepare for her performance. Nastya had gone Lord knows where earlier, allowing the younger girl to write a new diary entry, the first one in days.

It had been a while since the older girl had left the trailer, and Kate was starting to worry about her lover's whereabouts. The door opened and in came none other than the girl in question, looking quite disheveled and flushed.

Kate's eyes turned wide, instantly alarmed at the sight. She carefully approached her lover who collapsed in her arms. The smaller girl simply held the blonde for a moment, her concern growing by the minute as Nastya stayed unresponsive, lying limply in her arms.

The redhead whispered. “Nastya, what happened? Are you sick? Just where have you been anyway? I was so worried for you. I expected you to not be gone for long...”

The older girl snuggled even further into Kate's arms, shivering.

Her voice sounded cool, detached. “I am functioning. Do not worry, Kate. I apologize for being gone for so long. There were important matters I had to take care of which took longer than anticipated.”

Kate frowned, gently running her hands through the mussed-up golden blonde tresses of her lover, telling her gently. “It's fine, my love. I trust you. If there's something you want to tell me though, please don't be afraid to do so. No matter what it may be.

I can sense that something is bothering you. Your appearance and the manner you talked to me just now are telltale signs that you are not in your right state of mind. Did something happen while you were out there?”

Nastya gulped audibly, sobs soon shaking her. Kate pulled her even closer to her, wanting to provide comfort, knowing her beloved needed it right now.

Nastya pressed out. “I have had a conversation with Dee and your aunt and... Phoebe and Natascha at one point started to play close to us. At first, it did not bother me, but...

Natascha approached me, we talked and your aunt made a remark regarding us appearing as if we were mother and daughter. Dee immediately corrected her by saying that she should use a gender-neutral term like parent. Your aunt apologized right away, but I...

I do not know what to make out of any of this, Kate. Natascha asked me if I see myself as her parent and I could not answer, I was overwhelmed. In a sense, I suppose that I am much like a parent to her, but at the same time, our age difference is far too small.

At the same time, giving this more thought, I found myself wondering how it would be to have children with you, us being parents together and it hurts, so much, because no matter how much I might wish to procreate with you, it is not possible due to us technically both being females, despite my not 100 percent identifying as one personally.

Two females can not procreate with each other, can not become parents together, no matter how much they want to and how much they might love each other. This knowledge... breaks my heart.

I am convinced that you would make for a perfect mother, Kate and I feel... like such a failure for being unable to gift you with offspring and allow you to become one due to not being a male and my biology being incompatible with yours in that sense...

It makes me wish that we lived in the 21st century like Captain Kathryn Janeway where Science and medicine will most likely be able to allow females to conceive children together with the aid of certain future technology.”

Kate's heart was breaking at her lover's words and the way she downgraded herself, feeling flawed and like a failure, apologizing for something she could not change.

The younger girl pecked her lover's forehead, telling her sincerely. “It doesn't matter to me if we can have children together, my love. We're still so young anyway and I definitely do not feel ready for children.

In all honesty, I'm not even sure if I would ever want to have children, be a mom in the first place. I have never considered it before.

Having a little sister myself who I love to bits, but who can also be quite demanding and frustrating doesn't exactly increase my wish to have children myself. To me personally, Phoebe and Natascha already much feel like our children to me, my love.

If you don't agree with this then I understand that, of course, but I guess what I was actually trying to say was is that being with you is enough for me.

I don't need to have children with you and please don't ever think of yourself as any less, a failure simply because you can't give me children, Nastya.

I love you with all my heart, just the way you are. I wouldn't want you any other way, especially not for a reason like being able to have children together.

Just think about Dee and aunt Bev. They won't get to have children together, still, it doesn't stop them from wanting to spend the rest of their lives together, because they have each other and know they have found the person they ideally want to spend the rest of their lives with.”

Nastya nodded slowly, looking up at her lover with tear-stained cheeks.

Her voice sounded hoarse from crying so much. “You are correct, Kate, and I agree. As long as we have each other, that is all that matters. I very much do wish to spend the rest of my days with you and if we can not have children then so be it.

We still do have our family and Phoebe and Natascha. I suppose, that I overreacted earlier. Up until now, I much like you, had never truly considered having children. Before meeting you I never planned to settle down, get married, and spend the rest of my life with anyone.

With you, everything seems possible and the fact that we can, in fact, get legally married thanks to my being registered as a male as well as having met your family has brought with it all those new possibilities and opportunities which I had never dared think about before.”

Kate couldn't agree more with this.

She too had found herself considering settling down, lead a peaceful quiet life together with Nastya, something she had before deemed ridiculous, impossible even. “I very much agree with you, my love, and I understand that you would think about being parents, having children together. I guess, in a way, that's normal if you have found that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

These days it's so hard to provide for ourselves already, let alone having to feed children alongside it. On top of that, it's still very common for women to not survive giving birth as well. My mother was lucky enough to survive giving birth to two children.

I'm still stunned by how your biological mother survived giving birth to so many children back then...”

Nastya had once more helped her lover into her costume and then accompanied her to their makeshift theater. The blonde had as per usual watched her lover's performance from behind the stage, never growing tired of seeing Kate in her element.

It was plain to see that the redhead possessed an exceptional talent for acting and performance. She clearly knew how to enthuse the audience.

What always stunned Nastya the most was the fact that Captain Kathryn Janeway was so different from Kate, their personalities in stark contrast to each other, yet, the young girl had been nothing but convincing from the first time she had stood on that stage and posed as the rocket ship captain.

The fact that Kate was so enamored with the moon, stars and everything involving the universe merely added to her performance, the passion she felt plain to see and hear. Nastya absolutely adored seeing her lover talk about her passion, being in her element.

Every now and again the image of the young farmer's daughter flickered before her mind's eye and it astonished Nastya every single time.

'She has matured so much, grown so much ever since we first met. To think it has been such a short amount of time since we celebrated her 16th birthday that day. I can still see the shy, clearly inexperienced young girl as if it was only yesterday.

I would have never anticipated, dreamed this epitome of perfection could one day be my lover, in the near future hopefully even my wife. It still feels much like a dream, a fantasy, one of those romantic novels she loves to read so much.'

Once both their performances for the night were over, the two lovers following Nastya's request went over to Natascha's trailer to check-up on the young girl.

To the two girls' confusion, the lights inside the trailer were turned off. “They are not around? Where could they have gone at this hour?”

Nastya felt a sinking feeling, afraid for Natascha's safety and well-being.

Kate had much similar thoughts. “Something's off. Why would they leave at such a time? Could they already have gone to sleep and turned the lights off because of that?”

Nastya hadn't considered that possibility before.

The blonde nodded slowly. “Perhaps they have. Tascha requires a lot of rest still after that asthma attack a few days ago. I would still prefer us to check up on them. However, I do not wish to wake them, or unnecessarily alert them.”

Kate tapped her chin in thought. “Hm, you're right, Nastya. Could you open the door very silently? My sister for one is a light sleeper, so we gotta be careful. She always hears pa's snoring, much like ma. It must be a genetic thing, I guess.”

Nastya frowned. “I do believe I could manage to open it silently, but I am uncertain if I would manage to approach the bed silently enough.”

Kate smirked. “Leave it all to me. I'm known to sneaking around places.”

Nastya opened the front door of the trailer silently and Kate proceeded to sneak inside much like a cat, staying hidden in the shadows.

Nastya watched on in astonishment as her lover vanished in the darkness, seemingly becoming one with it. Despite her enhanced hearing, the blonde was unable to hear a sound from Kate, a fact which intrigued the older girl.

Kate had soon made it to the bed, her eyes widening in terror, only thanks to her fast reflexes did she manage to suppress a scream, her face turning the color of freshly fallen snow. Her body felt to be rooted to the spot, the shock rendering her completely motionless.

It took a moment before the redhead had regained control over her body, fleeing the scene, all the while making sure to be as silent as possible, mortified by what she deemed to have just witnessed.

'No, this is impossible, absurd! What are you thinking there? Phoebe would never. Never! You should be ashamed to ever even consider that kind of possibility. There simply has to be a harmless explanation to this!'

Nastya's eyes widened in alarm at the sight of her lover who looked like she had just seen the Grim Reaper.

The blonde wrapped her arms around her lover who was trembling all over, asking carefully. “What has happened, Kate? Were they inside? Did you see them? You appear as if you have seen the Grim Reaper himself.”

The younger girl muttered. “I just might have...”

Nastya was immediately more alarmed at this, asking. “Please tell me my Tascha is alright! When I saw her earlier she appeared to be in a much better state...”

Kate frowned, stating ominously. “It was probably nothing. I must've been seeing things. There's no way that this was what I thought it was. I bet the kids are fine.”

The two girls blinked as they were greeted by Dee and Beverly when they entered their trailer.

The former spoke up, her tone concerned. “How are you two doing? I had a vision earlier and... I simply had to know that you are doing alright.”

Beverly gasped when her gaze fell on her niece. “Katie! What has happened to you? Honey, you look awful. Pardon my bluntness, but oh my Gods! You should lay down. Let me get you a glass of water.”

Nastya carefully laid her lover on their bed, Kate sighed. “I'm fine... Why is everyone treating me like I'm sick?”

Dee, who had sat next to the young girl frowned. “We're concerned for your well-being, sweetie. That's normal in a family. I hate to say it, but Bev is right. You do look sick. I highly doubt that you are alright with you looking this flushed, your pupils are dilated as well.”

Nastya added voice laced in concern. “Her temperature is concerningly high as well, so are her vitals. We went to Tascha's trailer earlier. I stayed outside while Kate went in on her own.

She refused to tell me what happened, but she suddenly came rushing out and collapsed in my arms. There was no light in the trailer and we assumed they might have retired to bed already due to Natascha's fragile state.

I do not know if they were inside the trailer, after all, or not.”

Dee frowned, biting her lip. “I hate to say it, but it very much seems to me that whatever might have gone on inside that trailer must have induced a panic attack. Kate is showing typical signs of a person who has just witnessed something traumatizing, or triggering...”

Nastya gasped in shock. “A panic attack? How can this be? Kate reassured me earlier that Tascha was fine, that the kids both were as she stated 'most likely fine'. Dee, could you please try to talk to her? I am at a loss of what to do and you are a professional.

I hate having to ask this of you, but...”

The brunette smiled gently, nodding her head. “Say no more, sweetie. Of course, I'm going to talk to her. That's what I'm here for, after all. I can't guarantee anything though, but I will try my best to help Kate and get to the bottom of this.”

Nastya sighed audibly. “Thank you, Dee. I truly appreciate it! Perhaps, someone should look after the children again. I am even more worried now due to Kate's earlier reaction.

It all started with her going inside their trailer and my intuition tells me that we might find answers there. Also, we should make sure the children are indeed safe and sound.”

Beverly immediately exclaimed. “I'll go check up on them. Don't worry. You two stay here with Katie. She needs you now.”

Nastya smiled gratefully at the older woman. “Thank you, Beverly. I truly appreciate it!”

The ginger-haired woman smiled. “It's the least I can do. I'm sure the kids are alright, but it's better to be safe than to be sorry. I will be right back.”

Kate had meant to stop her aunt from going to that trailer but found herself unable to do so. The young girl felt so weak. It was one of these moments in which she asked herself. 'What would the Captain do in this situation?'

And suddenly she knew what she had to do. It might be risky and she by no means wanted to accuse her little sister of anything, let alone Natascha, but keeping such things to herself was the wrong way as well.

'There's the right way, there's the wrong way and there's the Janeway. Us Janeways are blunt and straightforward. There's no beatin' round the bush. If there's somethin' on your mind, spill it. No good ever came from bottlin' things up.'

Kate remembered her beloved father once having told her when she had been just a small child. The redhead steeled herself, prepared for one hell of an argument, but she knew it was necessary to share her suspicions, in order to get both Nastya and Dee to understand her situation, the state she was currently in, and her reaction.

This sure would not be easy...


End file.
